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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hurtful remarks made by manager after I gave notice

5 replies

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 21:44

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

I recently handed in my notice after just three weeks in a new job. The environment was toxic and it was affecting my mental health — I knew pretty quickly that it wasn’t the right fit. I’m now working a one-week notice period.

Today, there was a team meeting I couldn’t attend due to a scheduling conflict. I later caught up via the recording, and some of the comments made about me by the Managing Director were really disheartening.

She said I “lack motivation” because I live at home and told my colleauges that I said “I don’t need to work.” I want to be clear: I never said I don’t need to work. What I did say was that I’m in a fortunate position right now, living at home, which allows me to make the right decision for myself. I’m actively looking for a new full-time role and already have interviews lined up.

The part that really stuck with me was when she said, “If I were her parent, I’d be disappointed.” I found that comment deeply inappropriate and unnecessarily personal.

I’ve drafted an email addressing this, stating that I heard what was said and, in light of it, I don’t believe it’s in either of our best interests for me to work the remainder of my notice. But I’m torn between sending it or just finishing the week quietly and walking away with dignity.

Thoughts? I feel so angry.

OP posts:
YinYangalang · 19/06/2025 22:00

Ignore it.

I take it you don’t need a reference from them?

Dint give this person anymore headspace or even acknowledge what she said.

KatRee · 19/06/2025 22:00

How unprofessional of her. I assume she didn’t think you would watch the recording to catch up and may be embarrassed if you let her know you have done? I would definitely want to let her know what you heard, but maybe don’t send the email immediately, give yourself a chance to cool down first, then re-read and make sure your own tone is not overly personal or emotional . Does your company have an HR department you could report the incident to?
In terms of working your notice, I would do whatever is actually in your best interests longer term. If it’s in the interests of your own well-being to get out of there now, do so. As the employment period was so short I would not include it in future job applications/on your CV.

AudiobookListener · 20/06/2025 08:54

Well, if you had any doubts about whether leaving is a good idea, she has certainly done you a favour by making it crystal clear. I think you should try to get through your week with as little aggro as possible. Always try to leave on good terms.

AlwaysFreezing · 20/06/2025 08:57

Another thread? You need to get out, move on and forget it all. It'll be better for you.

FrenchandSaunders · 20/06/2025 08:58

you had some great advice on your last thread OP.

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