To give up

[tilly1987]

Second miscarriage this year confirmed this morning, cannot move with the grief

38
No children

Feels hopeless, I have left it too late and just deluding myself

AIBU to just give up

I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

My heart goes out to you 💐

Sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. I remember the 2nd MC hitting places of pain and grief that the first didn't.

There are plenty of avenues of help if you want some practical advice

Sorry for your loss. I've had around ten miscarriages, but kept going and two stuck and are now almost adults. That's at age 40 and age 44, so there is cer8hope for you. 🙏

So sorry for your loss. It's always shit, nothing anyone can say, really. Take it easy and let your mind and body recover.

I've had six. I've also got two DC by now. DC2 was born only last year through embryo donation. I was 41 then and had been trying for six years.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had two, then had some tests done privately which identified some issues that have now been managed in my current pregnancy. Is that something you might look into when you’re ready? I found it easier to deal by doing something ‘practical’ if that makes sense. My hospital does actually refer to the recurrent miscarriage clinic after 2 losses - I know most areas it’s 3 but it could be worth asking just in case x

I cannot stop crying
i do not want my husband to see me like this
I had nightmares last night I just knew

3 here

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I can't have any. I was told in my 20s it would be difficult but not impossible.
It never happened naturally.
In my 30s, I went to possibly the best gynaecologist ever who did a fully work up, explained everything and determined risk would be too high to even try but I fully understood why. Understanding why somehow made it so much easier for me. The not knowing is worse.

She was so impressive, I sent two friends too her. Both have children now due to her help. One of them has 2 and is expecting number 3 (third one is natural, first 2 were IVF).

Give yourself time and space to grief.

Then if you feel like trying again, go to the best specialist you can find.

It's hard, really hard but trust me you will be OK in time whatever happens. xxx

Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's just so horribly unfair

I would say that you're not unreasonable to give up. However, I have a very close friend who finally managed to give birth on her fifth pregnancy aged 44. She went through a lot of heartbreak though. It all depends what you're prepared to go through.

Thanks everyone for your replies

womans intuition, one week ago I started to spot - EPAS said bleeding in pregnancy just monitor, - my sister and friends said to stop worrying so much. I actually made an appt for a fertility clinic locally for both my husband and I to start testing (next available appts were August) and I paid for them. Husband was saying he hopes we get our money back if alls OK - I said I do not think it is OK.

Husband thought I was mad but I kept saying something was not right. Roll on a week later and what do you know? Intuition

I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending love & hugs. x

My second miscarriage was 17 weeks and I was referred so I would ask. I'm so sorry for your loss, second was definitely the worst. I have two children now but I'll never forget the pain of loosing two.

Hi, lovely OP 🙂. I had three miscarriages, then had a gorgeous boy who’s now 6’4”, then another mc, followed by my beautiful daughter. And then, nearly 40 and out of the total blue? I became accidentally pregnant with my third!! So, it t can work.

I had excellent care from the recurrent miscarriage unit in my local hospital. It’s a long time ago, but I remember that awful time very well.

Thanks everyone