To ask for your opinions on how to organise WFH spaces?

[Trifficultly]

DH and I both WFH. He is full time, I do 5.5 hours, 3 a week (16 hours total). He has a designated home office whilst I work in the house. It makes sense when he does more than double the number of hours, but as time goes on (we're now into the 5th year) not having a designated workspace is becoming increasingly irksome. I feel like I have considered all the options, but perhaps there's something I'm missing.

Options I've considered and the reasons they don't work:

• Work from the master bedroom - no desk, no room for a desk, and in the summer it's stiflingly hot
• Work from the kids room - has a desk, however it's increasingly untidy in there which makes it tough to focus. I'm trying to teach them to look after and clean their own spaces rather than me always doing it, which is a long and slow project. They've reached a point where they don't want me moving and messing with their things which I respect, but just kinda rules that out as a working space
• Booking into a shared working space takes a bit percentage of my minuscule wage.
• Make space in DH's office - we did try this but he often has confidential calls to make. Also he likes to chat, which when I have so few working hours I don't really have time for.
• Moving and extensions are WAY out of our budget.

The two things I mostly do are:

• Work from the kitchen table - though the chairs aren’t very comfortable. It’s a communal space, so my partner often comes in for coffee, lunch, or just to pass through en route to the bathroom etc, which, while fair, is distracting. I can’t exactly kick him out, but having him pottering around making lunch and cleaning up (better than not cleaning up!) or trying to chat about other things isn’t ideal when I’m trying to work. The kitchen is also often messy from breakfast, and even though I used to tidy it up before starting work, that’s fallen away over time with school runs and general life stuff. Five years in, we’ve lost that early motivation to keep things perfect. Have tried asking him his lunch schedule so I can also schedule mine for the same time, but it's often that he just grabs a lunch when he can. Not everything works to a schedule.
• Work from the lounge - Working here means sitting on the couch, which isn’t great. I can blow up an exercise ball and balance a bit of wood between furniture to make a makeshift desk, but it all has to be set up and packed away each day. Since I’m usually squeezing work in around childcare, the kitchen wins out just because it’s less hassle. The lounge is often full of half-finished Lego and kids’ forts, which I love for a family space but not a working one!

It's one of those things where it kinda worked in lockdown, we muddled through, but I'm steadily realising this is our life and it doesn't look to be changing anytime soon. Will be needing a workspace for 5-6 hours 2-3 x a week for the next 5 years or so. Need to sort it out!

Wondering if the internet hive mind can see a solution I've missed.

Well, arguably the employer has a legal duty under health and safety law to ensure that you have a suitable set up, so good luck to all those companies that merrily ignore this when the comp claims start coming in a few years down the line….

ETA thus isn’t only to @Ddakji , to be fair! Sorry to single you out, as it were. Others also seem to be saying same.

You share the office. It’s no different from being in the office. How confidential is the confidential bit? Is he using a head set?

We had a similar issue and I have moved around and settled on a desk in the bedroom
in end with a Dyson fan for hot days like today. I did however consider under the stairs so the hallway was my “office” the chair would only be in the walkway whilst I was physically working and under the space when I was not working. A permanent desk and office chair will do your body the world of good x squeeze a space into your house for your backs sake.

I hear you. My husband and I both work at the kitchen table when we are wfh, luckily usually only on the same day once or twice a week. It drives me crazy. I’m going to move upstairs I think. We have room for a desk but it hasn’t bothered me really over the years since lockdown, but recently it really had been. Every time I go on a call, he seems to be on one too talking at the top of his voice. We both wear headphones but still

https://www.daals.co.uk/products/ernest-writing-bureau-in-white-oak-colour#images-2 we have one of these. It is also great to dry sheets on when closed!

Your husband could also be more considerate of your need to work in peace (as your are of his).

It may be time to read A Room of One's Own!

Any space in your hallway or landing for a small or foldaway desk?
Can DH do a couple of days in the office so you can use his office?
Do you have a local library you could work from, or a cafe for a couple of hours? If you took turns to do this you could use DHs office for part of the day.
Sharing his office is also worth another try, with strict boundaries in place about chatting, noise cancelling headphones, and either you leaving while he takes confidential calls or him taking them from another room

@MagpiePi i I like the look of that desk, will look into that! It’s mainly me and my laptop, occasional paperwork, but something that’s quick and easy to fold down would be better than having to clear sides to put the shelf onto to make my makeshift desk.

@Bjorkdidit unfortunately his office is a 5 hour drive away, and my company doesn't have any offices at all.

@Shedmistress unfortunately there genuinely is no ‘out of the way’, we don’t even have a cupboard or anything to put things like the vacuum and the ironing board in. Under the stairs is home to the washing machine, there's definitely nowhere to stash a chair. It would have to be part of the standard dining room set. Will look into one like @SilenceInside suggested, which folds away. There’s no landing space either, we’re really packed in.

@ThePoshUns we do have a small bay in the lounge, which currently houses a cardboard toy shop, one of those colouring in ones, which I’ve moved a chair to accommodate (I figure it’s cardboard so it won’t last forever!). There's not room to swing a cat in there now, but would have been space for some sort of desk before the shop. I can already feel the comments about my needs being as valid as everyone else's and maybe the toy shop needs to vacate so momma can work. Feels fair. Amazing what a pep talk from internet strangers can do!

@MsFelicityLemon there are at least two! Neither of our employers have asked to see our home working stations at any point.

@nhsmanagersanonymous I can see what you mean about employers assuming we’d have this sorted, it feels like a reasonable assumption. I don’t think my desk has affected my output. If anything, not commuting and having flexibility has made me way more productive at work overall. It’s more my longterm posture I’m concerned about than my employer being concerned about my work ethic and output. It’s a very small charitable organisation, none of us have been provided with tech or any wfh equipment. We knew that when we signed up (which for me was during the pandemic, but I can’t imagine it was any different before covid). Appreciate it’s not ideal and there are probably way better offerings out there from more corporate environments, but I like my job. Just need to sort the working space out, which brought me to the hive mind.

@writingsonthewall exactly that, we kinda fell into a rhythm during lockdown (we were both full time then and had no childcare so we did have a rota as really only one person worked at once and the other had the kids) Then I changed jobs and had fewer hours and we kinda fell into this rhythm. As time has gone on its felt less ideal and now I want to do something about it.
I think this might be getting a little long to reply to everyone individually but I thank you kindly for those who have taken the time to ponder my problem.

Everyone who suggested DH be more considerate, you’re right. We’ve spoken about it, but it feels like we go around in circles. I bring it up, he apologises, he’s better for a while, then he starts again...usually because maybe one day he comes in and I am ready for a break so we have a chat or whatever, but then that repeats I get huffy, we have a chat about atmospheres in the house, I apologise, remind him about not being in my workspace during work time, he apologises, he’s better for a time….and repeat. He has to go past me to the loo, so him being in here really is unavoidable at least a few times a day even if he had a kettle in the office and didn’t otherwise leave (which doesn’t sound like a nice set up really. It's good to be able to move and have a break as someone said).

We did briefly make a space in the office for me, but I was like a jack in the box needing to leave when he had calls (some of which are spontaneous) and also there was very little space from one another living and working together. I think by that point we were so use to having our own space it was quite jarring to be sharing. Also I don’t think I’d do well being around one person that many hours of the day if we were working and living in the same space more then just occasionally, I enjoy the break. So it would be better for me to come up with a solution outside of the office, or a rota or maybe that room divider @NeedForSpeed shared.

He wears headphones, I don't. I never ever use them and haven't ever owned any (other than the ones which come free with things, which i don't use) so it is an alien concept to me really. It makes sense, just trying to justify why up until now it hasn't occurred to me that I would also benefit from headphones. I'm not sure when I lost so much of my confidence and personality to say what I need and make sure I get it. Somewhere in between kids and covid I guess.

I think for now I will be looking into ergonomic chairs and either a fold-down desk option for the lounge or something which can go in the bay window. Either way the shop will have to vacate. It was an unexpected gift, and it’s really cool, but it’s way too big for our space and this situation feels like it’s overdue a resolution.

Thank you all :)

You’re welcome

I can recommend this table, I bought one as an occasional option if I wanted to work downstairs from the sofa.

The legs are slightly set back more on one side, so the feet can poke under the sofa and you can pull the desk further over your lap so you're not slouching forwards to reach iykwim

Folding table - Amazon

It's not pretty but it works, providing you have somewhere you can store it. I can fit a laptop, portable monitor, wireless keyboard and mouse plus a cup of coffee. I never have any paperwork to do though.

I would concentrate on a bedroom set up with the summer holidays coming up.

Sounds like a positive plan in the circumstances OP. I feel the same as you about headphones - it feels odd that 'everyone' seems to spend so much time wearing them but they might help you focus and signal to DH that you're working and shouldn't be disturbed.

I don't know anything about them, but people often recommend Loop earbuds to block outside noise and they might be easier to get on with than a set of giant over the ear ones.

Is there room in DCs bedroom for the cardboard shop if they want to keep it, perhaps over the school holidays at least?

Here is the back support I suggested: it goes inside a standard dining chair & folds up or flat when not in use (so you could stash it away on non working days)

https://www.posturite.co.uk/medesign-backfriend?evsiteselection=consumer&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=17348975216&gbraid=0AAAAAD-eFveZ1Yst-mgVMhRnj8P8hzGUh&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjdTCBhCLARIsAEu8bpLFTwF1FsvyE7Qezzx91biv9gkgAJHXIeCjcr5sAqyAuUx6nCUzxgaAsOxEALwwcB

Here is an image - it has a hinge where back meets seat (so can fold up it lie flat when not in use)

It is a very difficult post 2020 issue. I set up from home in the 1990s as a solicitor when I started working for myself and even in the 90s was publishing articles on legal issues of working from home. Our previous house had a separate side entrance to a one room extension and utility room - an office so that was perfect but quite small. When we moved here we wanted a room with separate downstairs rooms - no through rooms, no knocking through so I had a room downstairs to work and my children's father also taught the piano and organ from home (he is an organist and teacher) some of the time eg all day Saturday so he also needed a separate room. We ended up buying a house with 4 separate reception rooms off the hall way ( it was very very expensive then but in the end was worth it). We also soon had twin babies plus our 3 teenagers so having 2 receptions for the 2 very different groups of children was essential.

Then in the pandemic my twins were forced by law home from university so I bought one a nice big desk set up for about £1000 which has a lot of space for his quite large bed room so that worked for end of his degree and 2 years of post grad mostly from home but it does get hot up there. He now works from home - this week he has been in the office one day only but sometimes is in the office 3 days. Anyway this week he has been working on the patio on a very large out door table under a sun umbrella - for the UK given our awful weather this is not a good solution most of the year and even had 2 screens out there yesterday. We are no where near neighbours so no one could hear even if he had a call. He tends to run upstairs to his bed room desk for calls.

Yesterday I had my lawyer children who lives near me working here from home - she usually does 1 or 2 days a week from my house as has very small children at home (but does have n upstairs home office there) so she has the dining room which has a big table, printer etc.

Then my other twin son on his working from home days like today he uses his sister's old bed room where there is a smallish desk and his PC and his lap top.
Last week we had one day with 5 lawyers working here all in separate rooms. it is a whole new world from before 2020 when people had to be in the office 5 days a week,

Anyway my post really only says I am very lucky to have a big house so no use to the original poster at all - although just wait until you have THREE adult children working from your house plus you and your husband....... oh the joys....

I’m intrigued to know how your husband teaches the organ from home, @Xenia!

My husband works from home 3 days a week and I do 1 day a week. He has an office and I float around the house. It’s usually lots of online meetings so it’s okay, but I don’t rule to stay as productive as I should be in down times as I’m usually surrounded by chaos so spend time faffing around sorting it. It’s not great.

I think you’ll just have to be a bit ruthless here - can either of you go into the office more? Can you each take a day to rent a space and share the cost? Can you put in a smaller couch or smaller kitchen table and get a desk? Folding desks?

I would rule out bedrooms as none of that sounds doable and focus on the lounge and kitchen.

When we briefly shared a study in covid (one desk each) I used to just go into the bedroom with a notebook to do calls - however, that was actual phone calls rather than teams/zoom so no cameras

Could you have a false top for the desk in your kid's room? So you would keep it on there when you're not working, kids crap lives on top of it, when you want to work pick it up (with crap in situ) and place the whole lot on top of their bed, and replace when you're done?

Appreciate it's not the ideal time to start when they're about to break up for summer however...

Just share the office space and wear decent headphones.
They'll block out any uber sensitive calls (that probably don't mean anything to you anyway, and won't be every minute of every one of the few shared hours you have); plus you can work away without being disturbed unless he deliberately comes over and interrupts you.

That solves every issue in one hit, surely?

We have a similar set up, husband has a garden office as he is WFH full time and there is no office to go to-whole company is remote. I do 2 days a week at home and I float about depending on what suits. But mainly use the dining room where I have a proper 2 monitor set up there (pack it away when not used). When it’s nice like this I have chosen to be in the garden, I like being able to move around. I had a really long briefing to listen to the other day which I did in bed as it was a 3hr passive no cameras/mics job. Today I am in the garden.

I’d make a proper small desk space in sitting room and insist the night before it is tidy. Or you will just have to stop doing it as it sounds like your home is too small. We have a tiny cottage but it has a garden office and a spare bedroom so I have options even though it’s hobbit sized.

I only wfh 2 days a week, my partner full time, but we share an office, its no different to when I'm working in the company office and there is someone sat at the desks all around me. We respect the fact each other is working and do have the living room or kitchen table if we both have a meeting at the same time (that we both need to talk at, I have a lot of meetings where I only need to participate for 10 mins out of the hour!).

I have the same issue with my husband dropping into the kitchen - he struggles to differentiate between "you've started chatting and I also want a little chat" and "I want to chat and you're here" and "stfu I'm working here".

I have a folding desk though, and like the fact I can move it around the house.

I do think that with your different schedules, he can give up the big office one day a week for the small desk.

I would absolutely not want to sit wearing headphones at random times of the day. I would feel very “boxed in” by that.

Some people get on with them, OP has mentioned she never uses them.

Oh crikey yes, how is it I keep forgetting that's on the horizon? 😅 though I usually switch to evenings in the holidays so then I do use the office. It's tag-team city