To think people have gone mad?

[TreatTreat]

I sat through a 90 minute commute with the same woman as always, and others, playing their phones out loudly.

To relax afterwards, I decided a nice cup of tea and croissant was in order, so off I went to the coffee shop.

My Mounjaro is playing havoc with my bowels and so a trip to the bathroom took place. As I was finishing up, the door handle went. They'll see the red engaged thing on the door, I thought, but nope, more trying of the door handle. Constant trying of the door handle for about 30 seconds. Thinking they'd realise someone was in and that's why the door wasn't opening and the red engaged thing on the door would be a sign the toilet was occupied, I didn't say something until I did. When I went out it was a woman about my age and no obvious signs of a learning disability or cognitive impairment. She just laughed and apologised.

Then on the way out of the coffee shop, there's an aisle and I stepped aside to let a man walk down from the entrance. He faffed about and didn't say thank you to me for waiting. I'm afraid I lost my cool and said in a raised voice, 'it's ok, take your time'

Then, on the next bus, more bloody noise from people's phones and a woman singing out of tune loudly!

I blame the heat

What for? OP being grumpy?

That sounds like a frustrating day. Although I have to say in cafes with a single door for a loo, I am often unsure at first whether I am just not opening the door properly.

Is it still a thing to blame Covid lockdowns for people's deteriorating social skills?

Some people have always been like that. I remember when I was about 14 I went to Bristol shopping. It was really busy & I accidentally nudged into a man. He then turned around, followed me, and pushed me! On the flipside I work with an adult with learning disabilities & he's one of the most polite, courteous people I've ever known

Actually, I think worse than people trying an obviously locked door, is people simply not locking the door and then looking shocked and indignant when someone opens the door. I am not talking here about a lock not working or being stiff, or a child, but apparently able bodied adults.

It happened a few weeks ago and the woman shouted and looked daggers at me. But, honestly woman, I do not want to witness you wiping your arse. Just lock the flaming door!

The phones are annoying

But the toiler door - sometimes the indicators are broken and don't indicate properly and doors can be stiff so she was just checking (and it probably just felt like longer because you were annoyed)

The man in the aisle, well you were quite rude too there. I assume he was "faffing around" with a bag or something? If you're a bit nervy, it can make it easier to fumble because someone is watching and he might have been meaning to say "sorry and thank you" as he passed

I swear 50% of Mumsnet must be on this jab now..

Reminds me of when that "Alli" was the big thing in weight loss, say 10 or 15 years back, and so many pple complained that it gave them the runs all the time.

I mean, some of the people you describe were quite rude, but then, you were too?

So you're part of the problem?

People in general have become more rude, inconsiderate and selfish over the past 10 to 15 years or so. I think smartphones and the rise of the selfie have a lot to do with it as many people have become very self-obsessed and think that they and what they want to do are the most important thing, irrespective of how it affects others.

Also no one seems to be ashamed of low level poor behaviour eg years ago if someone was playing their phone loudly and people looked or tutted they'd probably turn it down, now no one gives a toss.

I think many people are no longer brought up to have consideration for other people, even small things like parents teaching children to get out of their seat on crowded public transport if an older person or pregnant woman is having to stand, or holding doors open for others.

Were you in there a long time with your mounjaro stomach issues? Is eating croissants sensible?

thst aside, yes, noisy people on public transport should be lined up & shot!

a man the other night was talking on his phone very loudly in a language that to my ear always sounds aggressive anyway, shoes off, smelly feet in socks up on the seat next to me (I was sitting diagonally from him). He was right under the 'quiet carriage' sign, plus other signs well known his view. Train staff walked past at least 3 times & didn't say a thing...I'd had a very long day, so wasn't up for any confrontation, but could have cheerfully rammed his phone down his throat!!!

People have become astonishingly self absorbed and self centred.

We've really lost our way 😭

Yes! It’s seen as old fashioned to have basic manners.

My goodness, what an impatient grumpy person you are!

Such little things in life and you get upset enough to write a whole post about it.
Toilet door - perhaps the person was desperate, perhaps they didn't see the red 'engaged', perhaps it was quiet for so long they wondered if the toilet was perhaps free after all? Does it matter? They apologised as well. Just smile graciously.

Coffee bar - I always step aside for everyone and smile. Sometimes they notice, sometimes they don't. Some people say thank you, some don't. Some are in a rush anyway. It really doesn't matter. Why on earth get upset about it?

People on the bus. It's people. Was anyone doing any harm? Anything dangerous, illegal, abusive? No, thought not. Why can't people use their phones, listen to music, it's a a public place. I just "switch off" and ignore, it's only a bus journey. There are bigger things happening in the world and you get upset about a bus journey? Save your angst for something really important.

I do think we would all be so much happier and more pleasant towards each other if we didn't have such an intolerant mentality all the time.

Why can't people use their phones, listen to music, it's a a public place.

Because it’s bloody rude…? My definition of a public place is a place where one ought to be considerate of others.

What's happening on their phone is more important to some people than even their own children. So they're not going to give a stuff about some stranger on the bus/train etc.

I asked the teens and friends round the dinner table (14-16 year olds) we do a debate a lot of the time (subject from weekly news magazine subscriptions so we get random subjects) and one week it was "should people mute their phones in public"
Obviously there was initially some debate what "mute" entailed but they unanimously all voted for "yes to muting music in public" one pulled out their ear buds and said "that's what these are for"

So perhaps there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon that the younger, younger generation (with very decent ear buds) are coming full circle to also agree to muting phones in public.

I don't mind noisy public places, it's nice to hear life going on, even if it is dreadful music! You can hear other people's music choices when stopped at lights at the moment (windows down in all direction) - god there is some dreadful music out and about - it's fun.

Well, I think you are being inconsiderate going for a coffee when you know you'll need the loo immediately afterwards and those types of cafes only ever have one toilet. So it's swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

Why can't people use their phones, listen to music, it's a a public place
Why do people assume that everyone is cool with listening to their conversations or their music?

Listening to music is rude but conversations, so long as not loud, is fine. You could be having a f2f conversation with someone and no one would be complaining

Respectfully, you might be feeling especially grumpy because of the Mounjaro, it's a known side effect. That said, people playing music out loud from their phones, or having a loud speaker phone call does irritate me too.

The mobiles on speaker drives me up the wall, I was in a hospital recently and in the waiting room/recovery room people were listening to their TikTok scrolling just on loud no headphones. Wear headphones or have it on mute, no one wants to listen to your stuff.

I had in mind that thing where people play the other side of the conversation out loud. To be honest, though, even if I can't hear the other side I find that there is a different quality to someone's voice when they're on the phone than if they were talking to someone sitting next to them on the bus. I find it quite stress-inducing.

You have no other option when its a real life conversation. You very much have the option to not facetime on speaker. People who do that are self absorbed aholes

I do think we would all be so much happier and more pleasant to each other if we tried to limit disturbing others