Putting a four and a half year old in nappies

[ontheirown]

Honestly, this doesn’t sit easily with me.

Potty training DS was by no means a straightforward process and he was still having daily accidents for around a year. Recently they’ve ramped up again and dealing with the laundry and mess is getting to me a bit.

I have been reading Janet Lansbury and her recommendation is very much along the lines of ‘I can see you’re having trouble using the toilet, so we’re going to use nappies.’ But he’ll be starting school soon and I can’t have him start in nappies.

He isn’t constipated and I honestly think it’s laziness.

It won't be laziness. You need to get him checked to see if there are any issues

We left my grandson till he was seven and then was told by the GP that it was a common curable physical condition. Felt awful that we’d got cross with him and told him he was lazy. Please take your DC to the doctor asap.

We left my grandson till he was seven and then was told by the GP that it was a common curable physical condition. Felt awful that we’d got cross with him and told him he was lazy. Please take your DC to the doctor asap.

I reckon if it's laziness once he starts school he'll pick it up.
My son was the same he was in pull ups I struggled to train him at home, went to nursery in pull ups and saw the other kids using the toilet and learned within a month.
We still had the odd accident a couple times a week for a bit, so we needed to pack some spare pairs of pants but he soon learned.

NC for this reply but I strongly recommend you take son to GP. Very close relative who is now 5 was investigated and diagnosed with Coeliac Disease. The runny poos were overflow from chronic constipation caused by the bowel damage from Coeliac.
Edited to say that the child did go back into pull ups which removed the stress and stopped the child holding onto poos . It took about a year once GF to finally get child fully confident with pooing on the loo.

That was my first thought too and my face was 😳

But then I guess it does happen ...

As a parent of a child with a chronic bowel condition that wasn't apparent until after potty training I would 100% take him to see the GP first to rule out anything physical such as constipation. As PPs have said its not always apparent that a child is constipated as the overflow causes them to soil frequently and can also cause urinary incontenence.

Once the GP has ruled out anything physical I would take the next 6 weeks to go back to basics... regularly putting them on the toilet, rewarding positive output on the toilet and including your son in any clean up of accidents

You need to take your child to the doctor. If your child can’t go to the toilet then he shouldn’t be going to school.

My child has severe autism and was non verbal. I had him toilet trained by three and a half and that was me waiting after an attempt before three was unsuccessful.

I don’t understand why keeping your child in nappies is even an option.

Act like you don’t notice but insist he helps. It’ll take longer and stop him from playing.

Can you pop round and sort out my 11-year-old?

I don't necessarily agree that a child shouldn't be going to school in nappies if there is a medical reason for the incontinence. As per my PP my nearly 7 year old has double incontinence and is still in nappies but he has a medical condition and we are headed towards surgical intervention in the long term.

I do agree though that if there isn't a medical condition behind the soilings then every effort should be made to ensure a child is sufficiently potty trained before school. My youngest has just turned 4 (last week), is starting school in September and has been potty trained for 18 months now. Yes he does have the odd accident if he is engaged in an activity but it's laziness on his part and those accidents are few and far between.

ETA - I certainly wouldn't be putting my 4yo back in nappies at this stage and he is perfectly capable to be in pants. He has also been attending full time preschool at his school since September last year and they have no concerns

I’m sorry you’re obviously dealing with a lot.

I meant that my child has special needs. Unless there’s a medical reason the OP’s child should be toilet trained by now.