Self discipline

[Oldcrockpot]

I’m feeling quite ashamed at the moment.
I have a stone to shift after DC2 (now 3!). I felt really shit last summer and vowed I wouldn’t have another summer of not feeling comfortable in my body and summer clothes, and that I’d lose the stone by Christmas as the target. Did nothing about it. Christmas came and I told myself I’d get it together and lose the weight before my summer holidays. This is now here (Saturday) and again I have done absolutely nothing and am going to feel like a fat mess.

Making it even worse, many of my friends and colleagues seem to be getting into the best shape of their lives. I am naturally quite slim and am ruining it by being a lazy pig.

How do you develop self discipline? How do I get it together and develop some, so I’m not kidding myself again and again?

Kate Moss: nothing tastes as good as slim feels.

Read Atomic Habits.

It will completely transform how you think about will power.

I went down from 12 and a half stone to a skinny mini 7 a half stone in the space of 9 months to attract a really good looking bloke !

😆 🤣

I was told to read atomic habits by a friend who has managed to lose weight, and the human being diet by another friend who has lost a lot of weight. Whatever you do, don’t be me and spend the next 10 years vowing you’ll lose the weight and never do!!

Think about it as a million tiny choices and not one big choice. Rather than giving yourself a target of "I'm going to lose the weight", just make better decisions as you go through each day.

Make healthier swaps, cut portion sizes a little, take the stairs, get off the bus a stop early. There are multiple opportunities everyday to make a better choice and each one counts. Sometimes you won't make a better choice and that's ok because at the end of the day/week/month you'll be better off even if you just made one better choice.

Doing it like this is easier and more sustainable.

I’m sure I’ve already read atomic habits- I’m very well educated in all this stuff. I just don’t act. I will revisit it.

It’s in the moment day to day when I’m busy/stressed etc I tell myself a story that it’s fine and I can do what I like and I look fine and don’t need to worry (I’m just about in healthy BMI but this isn’t the point, I don’t feel as confident or comfortable)

I think I have reverse body dysmorphia 😂

Habits have to be easy to do. I go to the gym most mornings before work, but I am an early bird and love getting up with the dawn chorus. I’ve lost over 2 stone. My diet didn’t change significantly but early exercise gives me more energy so I probably move more during the day.
Find one thing you can stick to - whether diet or exercise. Motivation will wane, which is why habits are so important.
Good luck!

For me losing weight wasn’t incentive enough to change my habits. I love snacks and I’m no that body conscious. What changed for me was the desire to want to be healthier after a period of ill health . I basically cut out white bread/pasta /rice , crisps/sweets. My meals were already pretty healthy I looked at ways to up my protien . I swapped my snacks to nuts/fruit and dark chocolate. I started drinking 2.5 litres of water per day. .

i introduced 2 gym sessions a week and swimming once a week. I do 20 min yoga or Pilates at home every day.

Can you start slow and build on it? For me it doesn’t matter what I eat or drink IF I exercise properly. I’ve started doing little outdoor walks now the weather is good and it’s improving my fitness yeah but improving my mood so much I then want to do more. Walked 45 minutes yesterday and loved it. Covered 2.5 miles so walk quite fast

Say I’m choosing something in a restaurant, I will visualise future me after I’ve eaten and how I’ll be feeling. Sometimes helps with making a healthier choice.

This is the best advice and really works. I’ve been doing this after piling weight on in the last year and feeling miserable about myself.

Thinking of it this way has really helped me keep on track the past couple of weeks. For example normally if I go to the shop I’ll buy a bar of chocolate. Now I really consider at the time do I really want that bar of chocolate. Is it going to make me feel good about myself. Generally the answer is no so I leave it and just buy what I need. I can think about the rest of the day as it happens. (But making sure you know what meals you will have in advance helps). You get a nice little smug feeling like you’ve achieved something.

I’ve found constantly visualising my goals or motivations when I’m struggling helps too. I’ve got a photo of myself from a couple of years ago looking much healthier. I tell myself “that’s me, not some skinny lettuce eating model and that can be me again”. I also think about my DC a lot. How I don’t want to look back and regret their younger years because I was too fat (in my head) to enjoy life.

its soooo tough and I really get it. I’ve been so down on myself the past year and I’ve just decided it’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with doing something about it. Good luck!

I'm very disciplined. I was put on medication in January and told a common side effect is weight gain, as it's an appetite stimulant.
I've lost half a stone and gone down to 20% body fat, as I was determined it wouldn't have that effect on me!

Some random thoughts:

• My whole life, I've always taken my own lunch to work. I'd never be caught without and have to buy crap.
• We've never kept treats in the house. If I want something sweet, my only options are Greek yoghurt and honey or some mejool dates.
• Habit and routine is important. I go to the gym after work because that's what I do. In the same way I brush my teeth twice a day. I don't "need" to want to go, in the same way I don't need to want to go to work - I just "have" to go to work.
• A poster shared the famous Kate Moss quote "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels". I have no desire to be skinny - I like to be fit, strong and athletic. But it's true for me that "Nothing tastes as good as being fit and lean feels". Effortlessly slipping into a size 8 and looking great feels SO much better than eating a pizza.
• I've always seen food as fuel. I enjoy food and look forward to it. I like to cook too. But I see it as a way of fuelling and nourishing my body. I want it to give me energy and keep my skin looking clear and my hair shiny. So I'm more inclined to eat good stuff. Eating too much junk, for me, is a form of self harm.

Yes, I know Moss said skinny, instead of slim and it was highly controversial. However, she was right. If you want to lose weight, the discipline has to come from somewhere and it starts with picturing how you want to look, otherwise, why are you losing weight, apart from medical needs.

What has worked for me is the number of unhealthy people who have recently suffered periods of ill health and ive had a role in caring for them. It has struck me that the healthier you are the better you seem to cope when the chips are down. This has ranged from someone being in icu with compromised lungs due to smoking and another being heavily overweight. I have also read a health piece of the correlation between your walking speed / gait and your longevity and it has just struck such a chord with me. It’s not about being skinny or looking good it’s about being healthy into the long term to reduce suffering.

This has made me choose better foods and move more and the happy side effect is weight loss.

Yes good point. I'll add to my list above that my mum (73) has had a couple of injuries/health complaints in recent years, and has zero physical resilience because she's done no exercise whatsoever in her adult life. She has no muscle mass and a weak skeleton.
And most old people die of falls because they have a weak lower half.
That got me into weight training.

I think the ‘key’ is to find your why. Perhaps ‘skinny’ isn’t a good enough reason for some people and that’s why they don’t stick to it as it’s superficial. Maybe being skinny is that important to some people and why they manage to stick to it. I think if you find a good enough reason that actually means something you will find the will power. For me health in my old age is my reason, I’m petrified of suffering more than I have to. (Obviously I am well aware that not everything is in my control but even those who have
a little more health in their tank seem to fair better when life gets hard).

Also another very valid reason and something people don’t really understand until they are deep into an exercise regime is that it really is a very good anti anxiety anti stress tool. My morning runs really do help me cope with the day ahead and if I am feeling out of sorts I can often put it down to having skipped my run. It’s motivation to get up and do it knowing that I will reap the benefits through the day with a clearer and calmer brain.