Kid put glass in DDs water

[Kittenfactory]

There’s a boy at DCs school who is a nightmare. He’s just turned seven. I’ll call him X.

In his first week of reception , X bit a year 2 boy in the face.

A year later, last year, X bit DS in the face. His parents asked ‘well what did your DS do to
provoke him?’.

X’s class had chicks in eggs ready to hatch. They were taught the importance of keeping them
safe in the incubator. X opened the incubator when the teacher was occupied with an accident and only one chick survived (out of 15).

DD (5) goes to a sports group with him. When I picked her up today, she said X put metal in her drink. So she couldn’t drink, even though they were outside in 25° for 2 hours. I opened her bottle and there was a shard of green glass in it (about half the size of my little finger nail).

AIBU to think a child of seven would know that putting a shard of glass in a water bottle would harm a child that drinks it? Thank goodness DD saw him do it and knew not to drink it.

I’m starting to think the kid is a psychopath. Obviously there is more to it that I can’t add to a thread of mumsnet.

The kids all go to a naice school in a naice area so maybe I’ve just been spoiled by the behaviour of the other kids.

Definitely tell school - and make sure that boy is disciplined by the school!!

This happened in a sports club outside of school so unfortunately they can’t do anything.

His parents always make out like he’s the victim and everyone is against him so contacting them seems pointless too :/

The school won’t be able to punish him but they need to know. I’d also call the NSPCC advice line because the child could be experiencing violent behaviour towards them at home which is causing this.

So there’s two years of documented incidents where this child is causing harm to animals and other children? I’d contact school and council safeguarding officers as evidently nothing is being done to address these behaviours. Do not back down when school / parents will inevitably try to down play it. These behaviours are deliberate, intentional and designed to cause harm and distress.

It’s also nothing to do with living in a nice area. My kids go to a very mixed school with a wide range of children from different backgrounds and I do not hear of behaviour like this.

You need to talk through any school issues with the teacher and not the other parents. You mention X doing things to another child and the incident with the chicks...that is the teachers concern and things they are likely to be recording.
You say X's parents asked you what your child did to provoke him, but you should not be having that conversation and it should be the teacher dealing with X and what happened before the biting. In fact the school should not be naming X to you, rather telling you what had happened (being bitten) and possibly what the consequence was for the child (they might even just keep it fairly vague with the school is dealing with it).

Outside of school then you need to talk to the coach. While these clubs are often volunteers they do still need to be aware of any issues and if there are any children with additional needs have a plan for managing their behaviour.

This is incredibly concerning. I’m sure he will already be being monitored by the school’s safeguarding team (especially as you say they “treat him like he’s a victim” - it sounds like he likely is), but I’d be reporting this to them asap because this is extremely violent behaviour. I’d probably also contact SS as this is not typical behaviour for a child - it’s raising alarm bells.

Today was the last sports and X won’t be participating next year. The organisers are lovely volunteers and totally unprepared for a child like him.

Sports club is nothing to do with school
so they won’t acknowledge what has happened (I know this from prior experience, if it’s on school grounds they will act, otherwise it’s nothing to do with them).

I have suspicions that X is seeing a child psychologist (he has a regular appointment).

I’m considering messaging the mother, just so
I have done something.

The school may not be able to punish the child for it, as it happened outside of school grounds, but I can assure you the safeguarding team absolutely need to be made aware of this.

I’m not in the UK so unfortunately no safeguarding team

Alarm bells ring.

Concerns are raised.

Discipline in cases like this rarely work. The child needs real help, and others around him need to be safe.

I’ve never understood why parents not engaging means that schools don’t do anything. He’s showing some really disturbing behaviour here, there are surely avenues to explore, and he should be supervised better.

Firstly, yes you are right to be concerned, and you should be flagging with the school (in writing).

However, YABU when you state "I have suspicions that X is seeing a child psychologist". Why is this something to be suspicious about? Surely, given what you have said, this is a positive thing? My son has seen a child psychologist too. I'm a teacher and lots of my pupils have. I agree with the rest of your post - your concerns are valid - but please don't view seeing a psychologist for support as something damning. It's really not.

I’m happy (is that the right word?!) to hear that you also think this is serious, I sometimes think I’m overreacting. But if I think of DD swallowing a piece of glass, and someone put it there on purpose….

It's definitely serious and you are not overreacting to want to keep your daughter safe from harm.

Sorry, English isn’t my first language. I mean I am sure he is seeing a child psychologist, because I know he has a regular appointment and therefore misses some after school clubs.

DS has also seen the child psychologist so I am
def not against them!

And if X can get help, that is definitely welcome!!

If there is no other solution, I’d honestly consider moving my DC out of the school to be away from this child. It sounds like he could have an awful home life, but a lack of safeguarding for him can’t mean the same for my own DC.

OP I would definitely approach his parents about this, as there is absolutely NOTHING that justifies him putting glass in a child's water bottle, or anyone else's come to that. He knew exactly what he was doing, even at 7 years old, a child knows that glass is dangerous.

I do think I would contact the parents if I was you, they may not do anything but I don't think you'll be able to rest until you've at least told someone. I'd tell your daughter to stay as far away from this child as possible

So, I messaged the mother just explaining what happened. She has replied to say that X had already said he had a falling out with my DD this week and was angry. She said she brought X to the sports event today and saw him play together nicely with my DD for 15 minutes. She said she will tell him how dangerous what he did was, and was sorry for his inappropriate behaviour.

When X bit DS, it was asked what DS had done. I told DS, it doesn’t matter what someone does, you don’t bite them in the face!! (What DS did was take a football away because X kept kicking it at him, so X bit him).

Now he’s put glass in DD’s water, because he was angry after a falling out??

X sounds like he needs discipline rather than being indulged when he acts like a moron.

I agree with other posters that this child likely needs all the help he can get. But I'd be really concerned about my own DD, if I were you. Report it to the school and move your daughter outside of his reach. I shudder to think of the harm that piece of glass could have done.

Okay, if English isn't your first language then fair enough. It just came across as very judgemental of seeing a physiologist.