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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by him..?

25 replies

PumpkinAndSpicey · 18/06/2025 17:19

I’ve been texting a guy on and off for a while, but I’ve only met him twice (both times last year so 6+ months ago) we’ve been texting more since Easter roughly.

The thing is I’m a single mum to 2 young kids and live with my parents. I don’t have time to go to the toilet some days, never mind sit and text.

If I’ve got both children and don’t manage to text for say 3-4 hours I’ll get “are you going off me” “I guess that’s it then” and I’ve even had “I might as well just end it now”

again.. we’ve met only twice and sat on the sofa at his and watched tv . We’ve done nothing more than a polite kiss on the lips.

he constantly texts that he’s lonely and that “us” is getting him down. I say over and over I have the kids all week and I can’t meet and to be honest the more pressure he puts, the less I want to respond. He’s even said I’ll come to your village just come out and say hello. It’s giving me the ick. Am I a terrible person?? I’m happy to chat but I was really unwell the past 18 months and spent a lot of time away from my kids, I want my main focus to be on them not constantly reassessing some man.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 18/06/2025 17:21

I can't understand why you don't just end it. This isn't a relationship.

PumpkinAndSpicey · 18/06/2025 17:21

Reassuring not reassessing!

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 17:36

Just say you're too busy to text and block him. He sounds mad.

KrisAkabusi · 18/06/2025 18:09

He's not annoying, he's a needy red flag. I dont know if you can dump someone you've only met twice, but bin him off and move on. I dont care how busy you are, you can do better.

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/06/2025 18:10

If I’ve got both children and don’t manage to text for say 3-4 hours I’ll get “are you going off me” “I guess that’s it then” and I’ve even had “I might as well just end it now”

Id take him at his word and just end it - if he’s annoying you now it’s not going to get better.

Hayley1256 · 18/06/2025 18:11

You need to end this. I met my DP during my divorce and he fully understands that DD is always my priority! But also I'm not always going to txt back instantly as i might just be relaxing

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 18/06/2025 18:22

He sounds needy and annoying you it’s also sounds as though you’re stringing him along.

LittlleMy · 18/06/2025 18:27

@PumpkinAndSpicey From the way you describe your living and personal circumstances it sounds as though you don’t have any time to offer or invest in a man full stop right now. Especially with this one. Not sure why you don’t just end it and focus on your health and kids as you said yiu wanted to do. Most men aren’t going to be happy with just texting for long periods so until you’re properly ready, I’d personally just sign off dating for now if it were me.

Endofyear · 18/06/2025 18:33

Really, what's the point? You're not in a relationship with this man, he's just someone you text chat with. It doesn't sound like you even want a relationship with him so I'd just tell him you don't have time for this and move on.

healthybychristmas · 18/06/2025 18:58

Just tell him you are sorry you can't give him what he needs and he deserves a girlfriend who he can spend lots of time with. Leave it at that and hopefully he'll get out of your hair!

LaurieFairyCake · 18/06/2025 19:11

I don’t understand, are you thinking about dating him? Why the prolonged texting when you could go out on dates and your parents can babysit?

whats the point ?

Coconutter24 · 18/06/2025 19:28

You’re not a terrible person but you are wasting his time

TMGM · 18/06/2025 20:45

He sounds emotionally manipulative and a big red flag. Run.

Bonbonthechewyone · 18/06/2025 20:59

He's nuts. You're not in a relationship, you're not even friends. Why are you encouraging this nonsense by continuing to engage with him. Block him.

Pollqueen · 18/06/2025 21:29

That's just weird. You've met twice in 6 months but just sat and watched tv at his? He threatens to end his life when you don't immediately respond to his messages?

The whole thing is off and strange, just block and move on

ForZanyAquaViewer · 18/06/2025 21:33

So…what’s the point? Why are you engaging with him at all? Say you’re too busy, wish him well and stop.

ExtraOnions · 18/06/2025 21:34

Needy … way too needy … does not bode well for the future. Finish is sooner rather than later.

YellowPostIts · 18/06/2025 21:36

This is not the chap for you, and you know that really.

Dont waste any more of your time (or his).

Praying4Peace · 18/06/2025 22:10

Gettingbysomehow · 18/06/2025 17:21

I can't understand why you don't just end it. This isn't a relationship.

This and concentrate on your children

Pbjsand · 18/06/2025 23:07

Sounds like you want a text friend and he wants a relationship.

DontTouchRoach · 18/06/2025 23:29

Is he 14 or something?

This isn’t a relationship and he’s weird and intense. You’ve met each other twice and watched telly together? You’re not a couple and he’s an insecure, immature baby. You sound like a pair of kids.

OvergrownHaha · 18/06/2025 23:34

ForZanyAquaViewer · 18/06/2025 21:33

So…what’s the point? Why are you engaging with him at all? Say you’re too busy, wish him well and stop.

Exactly. You’ve met twice and watched television, you’re crazy busy and in no place for a relationship, and he’s behaving as though you ditched him for his best friend on your wedding night…? Just end things for everyone’s sake. It’s baffling why you haven’t!

Eenameenadeeka · 19/06/2025 00:02

You are not a terrible person, but you really don't have time for a boyfriend so it's probably better to let him know that, and he can find someone else who is available for a relationship. It doesn't sound like it works for either of you

PumpkinAndSpicey · 20/06/2025 16:49

Thanks everyone. I told him I can’t always be constantly on my phone and I need to focus on my kids. No texts today so hopefully that’s a good sign.

OP posts:
ShellieAnn · 20/06/2025 16:52

What's the point? You are clearly not in the right stage of your life to date right now and he's hardly knocking your door down to spend time with you in person.

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