Adult son wants to quit job

[Pickle40]

I have a adult son living at home works 10 to 16 hours a week min part time job, min wage job came home says he wants to quit job I lost it said he cannot just quit and need to look for another job before he leaves pays no lodge or bills buys own clothes and pays own social and car expenses, I wotk part time only due to disability so not a wealth household but atm I'm paying all bills food etc for us both,
Explained to him I cannot just quit job, a relative of mine died left him some money as he was only child in family at the time so he has money in bank which is why he thinks he can just leave, end of the day a adult at 18 plus can do as they wish i cannot really stop him if this is what he decides to do,
I have said I won't be happy or impressed but he also knows I won't kick him out,
Considering making him buy his own food and not buying it anymore and just shop for myself that way some reality may hit in opinions needed please

He is applying for jobs and applying for apprenticeship and I've had a man I know check his cv to be told it's excellent he got a great score on degree, he had no previous work experience but obviously now he has nearly a year, fact he has money is inciting him to do as he wishes more easily and I've told him to make sure he keeps x amount deposit for a house etc etc, he knows exactly I arnt in position to help him out, I've decided to not buy his food do his laundry and make him see reality more if he has to pay out every week maybe he will think twice

Why aren't you requesting a set sum of money for board and making it clear that it's non negotiable if he wants to continue living there?

If you don't buy his food he'll probably order takeaways. He might even send his laundry out if you don't do it. You need to put some clear expectations in place, not tinker round the edges.

Have you ever asked him to contribute to bills etc?
You could always charge him for board and lodgings but put any money that the household doesn't need into a savings account secretly with the option of giving it back to him in the future if and when you feel it's appropriate.(Don't tell him this though,let him assume it is gone.)
That way you will be charging him a reasonable amount to live in your house, you won't feel you are robbing him and you will be able to tell just how much his sponging is actually impoverishing you!
I agree with the other posters. This guy needs a reality check.
As long as he has free bed and board and money of his own to run his car etc he will be oblivious to any hardship caused to you by his lack of contribution.
I would sit down with him and look up what it costs to rent a room in your area with shared bills and use that as a basis for negotiating a reasonable amount. You probably will agree on less than that but at least he will see that charging him is not unreasonable.

I tbh have not seen a increase in bills other that electricity, water is on a special meter set bill due to my disability and rent and ct is same, it's the food that costs a fortune, he's a very fussy eater that's where it will hit him hardest if I no longer shop or supply food

But he should be paying half your rent and council tax.

Also, your council tax shouldn't be the same because you should no longer be getting a single occupier discount.

@Pickle40 my suggestion is he buys and cooks his own food, does all his laundry and gives you £140 a month towards bills, be that from wages or his inheritance - a bit of self reliance and budgeting will be good training and focus his mind that life isn’t free!!

Exactly. He's a family member living in the house. He should be paying his way, not being a passenger.

How much money was he left? I think that makes a difference. A lot of 21 year olds want to travel, etc. Does he?

If he’s just being a lazy arse and wants to continue living in your house, he needs to contribute his share.

Does he actually want another job or is he planning on doing nothing all day. Yes, definitely don't buy him any food

I think he will have a greater sense of responsibility if he pays bills. Start showing him what a room in a shared house will cost

I honestly think it is much much better that young people move out! He is at an age he should be budgeting, shopping, understanding life - this is just massively babying him

Also, surely in your early 20s it's much more fun to live with friends or at least people your own age?

Oh my mistake,I should have taken more time to read op properly.

Update.... He is now off sick and is holidaying with the girlfriend been informed he will be home Tuesday, told him I seriously wasn't impressed at him calling in sick as he has

Update.... Son is off sick now holidays with gf I have told him I'm not impressed at this behaviour, he returns home Tues I have informed him to purchase his food shopping on his way home and when he does return I will decline shopping duties or laundry duties, if he wishes to act as a adult and behave as one he will start having responsibility as one just really hoping he don't quit his job before aquireing another 🤔😢

He's your son. Why would he be paying board in his own home?

FFS, the OP has explained that she doesn't have the resources to accommodate another adult in her home.

Even if she did, why should she cover the living expenses of her DS as a graduate? He should be working and contributing at that age.

Update he is now home returned back to his retail job and hopefully looks like he has interview for another, I have caved and done his laundry after his week away as he literally came home and did a shift tha afternoon bit I did get a thank you so maybe I am appreciated 😂
However I stuck to my guns re the food shopping and to my shock he actually did a food shop for himself after work miracles do happen and I'm gonna let that continue!

If he has an inheritance he won't qualify for UC?

Surely he sees you need to work unless you have private means? How come gen z can't see that?

This is why benefits should only be paid to those who have contributed.

Dies his girlfriend work?