What goes on holiday stays on holiday?

[SharpGoose]

Me and my partner have never tried drugs. Both have a very honest relationship and I don’t particularly have a strong opinion on them just neither of us have felt inclined to try them. We do have friends who do/have.
My good friend has never done them either and she has quite strong anti-drug views as does her husband.

Long story short our husbands have just been on a holiday together and my husband told me how 2 of the guys did cocaine on holiday quite a lot and quite openly, one of them being my friend’s husband. I felt shocked as this friend and her husband both openly speak out about how the find drug use abhorrent etc. My friend’s husband asked my husband not to tell her. I felt sad for my friend as I know she thinks her husband is very honest and open. She asked him openly if anyone on the holiday did drugs and he swore they didn’t and said he would have been disgusted if they had!
I don’t feel like I can tell her as I can’t get involved in her marriage and it would cause a lot of problems for my husband. My husband did text him and ask him just to be honest with his wife but he won’t.
I hate the idea that everyone is our group of friends will know and feel like it makes her look a fool in some ways. I just feel a bit gutted he’s lied to her face when she’s asked him a direct question about it.

AIBU to think he should be honest with her or is it just a white lie that doesn’t hurt anybody? It’s been playing on my mind.

That is not on and I would not want to be keeping that secret tbh.

Keep out of it. It's none of your business.

Feel like it’s been eating me up for days. I’ve spoken to 2 people about it who don’t know the couple in question and they have both said I can’t tell her or get involved. One of the thinks it’s not a big deal and the other thinks it is but it’s not my place to tell her. Horrible situation and I’m angry he’s put us in it tbh.

I would wonder what else he lies about & asks people to cover up.

I always think of it like this: how would I feel if I was the wife and everyone knew but no-one told me? Not happy!

Think carefully about any consequences and fall out to your friend and her husband if you should take it upon yourself to mind their business, stick your nose in, tittle tattle, get it off your chest. You could damage or ruin their marriage, and for what?

I'd be asking DH why he felt the need to tell me if he then also expected me to lie to my friend?

I'd tell her because I'd want to know in the situation. The only person ruining her marriage would be her lying, drug taking DH.

I wouldn't get involved personally.

This. I would tell her. It’s then up to her what she does about it.

My DH would know that I would tell her - so he might well keep quiet, but I certainly wouldn’t if I knew.

I think it depends how close you are as to if you should tell her or not, but I don't think being in holiday makes it any different and I'd be annoyed if I was her

Tell her and before you know it , it will be your DH keeping things from you as he will no longer be able to rely inyour comfidence

Keep quiet.
But if she ever asks you directly, answer her honestly.

I know you say they “speak out” about being anti-drugs, but how big a deal is it to them?

Is it a really strong personal principle because e.g. thry have lost someone to drug abuse. Or they are in a job where any drug use would be a disciplinary issue?

If it is that level of a big deal I think I would tell her.

But if it is just an opinion she has expressed a couple of times in conversation I would try to ignore the whole issue.