To ask boyfriend to move in?

[Meandsusiehadsomuchfun]

Both 35, been together just under a year and it's been such a wonderful relationship.

I own a small 1 bed terrace, he temporarily moved back in with his Mum to save up. We've already said we want to live together in the future, the problem is my house is tiny, and it's about a 1h15/20 commute each way from his job.

So I understand he might say no based on the above, should I try and ask anyway? I won't be offended if he says no.

You're not being unreasonable, but as you say the commute might be a deal breaker, because that sounds like near enough a three-hour round trip which on a daily basis is expensive and tiring. No harm in asking, but I would prepared for him to say no, particularly if where he is he is closer to work and saving money for a potential joint move with you in the future. Good luck.

I said YABU because I wondered why you are rushing this if circumstances don't fit yet?
-You've been dating less than a year

• You say you've talked about it for the future
• it's a small house that's only yours
• it's inconveniently placed for his commute

I just think everything above suggests you wait and discuss it further while he saves , and buy a place together.

Thanks for the thoughts :)

What’s his current commute?

I’m thinking if he’s keen he’ll snap up your offer.

Current commute 5 mins bus ..so I can see it'll be a big change..

What are your thoughts on marriage?

I'd definitely like us to get married.

What is he saving up for ?
If I were him I would stick to the 5 min commute.
If you were buying together once he has saved up, where do you think you would be buying - as I suspect he wouldn't want that length of commute ?

if he does decide to move in with you, you need to get a cohabitation agreement Drawn up by a solicitor and signed by you both. So there will be no confusion later, it’s best to agree things upfront.

Does he drive? Or is it a long bus commute?
the way I see it is he moves in, you see how it goes and if all is well you buy something more suitable for you both.

You'd be putting him in a difficult situation. A 75 minute each way commute would be a BIG hit to his quality of life. I can well remember the difference it made (many years ago) when I swapped a half-hour commute by car for living within 'pop home for lunch if I felt like it' range. You're asking him to choose between this and the joys of living with you! Tread carefully, and don't look for offence!