DH always too over friendly with school mums

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My hubby is very social able compared to me and I think personally it’s too much sometimes. He has two mums at the school who I’m not very fond of and conveniently both of the mums are good friends. When I had our last child we was both stood at the school together neither of them even looked at me and told hubby congrats on the baby whilst I was stood next to him.

To this day they never look at me but as soon as they see hubby they are over to him stopping and chatting. DS had a birthday party and again they spent all the time chatting to hubby.

I’ve let it go for so long but it’s happened again today at sports day.

please tell me if I am being unreasonable as it’s my time of the month 😆

I always say hi to them but always get a poor effort hi back.

Your husband sounds just as awful as them to have not noticed them congratulating him and not you.

Why are you tolerating this?

The most likely don’t look at you because you aren’t friendly and don’t interact with them.

If you’re stood right next to your husband and they congratulate the new baby it’s pretty clear it’s joint.

I don’t understand why so many people don’t engage with others bit then take it as a slight when people don’t engage back.
You might be shy or awkward, but not going out of your way to chat to people just looks rude and standoffish which is in turn why they don’t chat to you.

You're being ridiculous. You clearly dont like them, so you don't talk to them. So why would you expect them to be friendly with you? Your husband isn't doing anything wrong by talking to them.

So you turn up with your baby and husband and they entirely ignore you (and the baby?) and just talk to your husband? Was he carrying the baby and were the congratulations meant to be general?

That's a fairly minor thing to decide you now don't like them.

People tend to greet and congratulate the person holding or pushing the new baby. If you were with the baby then it is a little rude not to smile and include you in the congratulations. If you were standing back giving off resentful vibes then they might be a bit wary.

Yes both there kids have been to my house in summer holidays.

If the kids have been to your house then that seems so weird that they don't acknowledge you!

It sounded like you weren't fond of them before you had the baby in the OP.

I don't see an issue , your DH is friendlier than you so conseqtly people are more likely to chat to him

Thinking a bit more about this if a couple were standing together and I congratulated them on a baby then id consider it applied to both. Wouldn't feel the need to do two separate congratulations

maybe he is light hearted and you are more serious? Nothing wrong with that but it can be why people connect more easily with him? When you had your baby did you expect them to worry over you and they were a bit light for you? I doubt they were tying to upset you or fancy him or anything.

Exactly - think so much more is being read into this.

Doesn't it depend on the nature of the interaction though? I can imagine a person saying congratulations where both of the new parents are in front of them and it's quite obvious that they're congratulating both.
Then I can imagine a person congratulating one person only, by blanking the other, maybe not making eye contact, perhaps using the name of one person only, maybe deliberately positioning themselves so that their back is to one of the couple, etc.

Well if the other is obviously offhand and unfriendly then it's not really surprising .

It sounds like he is a very outgoing and naturally social person. Do you give off 'don't talk to me' vibes? Are you socially awkward? Because other people pick up on that and gravitate towards the one who is easier to talk to. Small talk with people who do't give back is awkward and horrible - sorry.

two mums at the school who I’m not very fond of and conveniently both of the mums are good friends.

I would love to know their version.

If they were as rude as you describe them, your husband would notice?

I don’t see what the issue is. You’re two separate people who are married. You don’t like these two women, he does.

On the very rare occasions DH and I did a school run together because we were going on somewhere afterwards, we realised we talked to entirely different sets of people when we were alone, and sometimes thought ‘Oh, weird’ about the other one’s choices.

Agree with this. Not sure what the problem is really. They're just mums in the school playground. Your husband likes them and talks to them, you don't.

I think it’s mad they didn’t congratulate you. How the hell do they think the baby materialised? You’re the one who gestated the baby for 9 months!!!

Tbf to your dp though I wouldn’t judge him harshly for chatting back to them when they approach him in the playground. Maybe he could make a concerted effort to make sure you’re included in the chat, if this is what you would like?

I think YABU to expect your husband to not make normal school gate conversations with other parents. If he goes there regularly it's v normal for him to chat to other parents (even if they are women, if this is the problem here). I don't think that he should have to check you like them first. If someone had done something really awful to you yes he should take a stand, but that isn't the case here, you just don't like these other mums. On the congratulations on your baby thing, I get that it stung as they didn't look you in the eye but I would imagine that from their perspective they were congratulating both you and your husband.

Had a very similar conversation with the other half....

"Why do you talk to that neighbourperson? She's horrible."

"I like her. What's wrong with her?"

"I don't like her and she doesn't like me."

"Oh. Should I not talk to her because you two don't get on?"

"Exactly! You should support me!"

"Okay, I can do that. And I shall be submitting a list of your friends that you need to stop talking to because I don't get on with them."

"...that's different..."

Tell Kevin that Julia is awful, but Liz is alright, and you'd be happy for him to organise a play date.

Ah I see, I thought the dislike came first. Yes that is rather rude. Unless they meant it towards the two of you? They may not have been directing at you primarily but to just overlook you altogether seems bizarrely rude. In which case I would expect my husband to have my back and not be super friendly to people who were rude to me.

Would they not have meant both of you if they gave a congratulations?? And you were stood together ?