DH on holiday

[HollyBerri]

we are in holiday in a fairly lively place. We both enjoy a drink & food. We talked about getting up early tomorrow & exploring as its too hot during the day.
My AIBU is we have had a lovely meal tonight. Just on the way back saw a bar we had been in earlier. Music we both liked. I half walked in & dh pulled me back & said no its 10:30 & refused to go in. Ffs we are on holiday! Am so annoyed. I don’t want to stay out on my own & I don’t want a particularly late night but am so pissed off.
Im ńot exactly a night owl but at home he is asleep usually by 9. Aibu to expect a bit more on holiday. Am sat with a G&T in the balcony now - he is snoring his head off! Why go on holiday for an early night?

Will you be up early if you have a late night drinking? I'd rather see the sights than drinking and being hungover tomorrow.

If you've just had a conversation about getting up early to do a bit of exploring, because of the heat, and you are normally in bed by 9, then yes, it does seem odd to be going into a bar at 10.30.

For me, I'm a night owl, so of course it wouldn't be unreasonable to go into a bar at that time, but that isn't the situation you and your dh are in.

I had one of those. Miserable git. He's now an ex miserable git.
How old is he? I'm sorry you're on your own like this.

I would hate this and would probably have stayed out by myself.

What’s he usually like on holiday?

I would want to go to bed at 10:30 as well and spend the day exploring the next day.
Im just a morning person. I have done all the late nights in my teens and 20s and I just don’t have any interest now. My body clock is strong and I am shattered by 10:30. My boyfriend is the same though so there would be no one wanting to stay out later than the other.
I think if you want to stay out later you just need to do it on your own and come in quietly whenever you are ready. Nothing wrong with either view.

You keep saying “why go on holiday for an early night” as if the whole point of going on holiday is to stay out late…? By the sounds of it that’s what you value on holiday, but clearly it’s not what your DH values! Perhaps he’s thinking “why go on holiday just to be exhausted from lack of sleep all day”.

It makes sense that he wants to be well rested for tomorrow because you’ve agreed to get up early and explore.

Not everyone has to stay up late on holiday. Just because you like it, doesn’t mean your husband automatically has to.

If he's usually asleep by 9, 1030 is probably a reasonable time to sleep if you plan to get up early. Maybe you can discuss going out for a later night ahead of time and plan the next day around that

If your husband is usually asleep by 9pm at home, he has already stayed up and out later each night on your holiday and if he’s sound asleep snoring is obviously tired.

for me personally drinking/bars/late nights on holiday aren’t my thing. It’s ok they are yours but you can’t be upset if he doesn’t feel the same. You did also agree an early night to go exploring so why are you upset he’s doing as you agreed?

Maybe im in the wrong then. I was just so annoyed earlier. I don’t need a massive late night- a meal followed by a couple of drinks & then bed. I just think we are on holiday & should let our hair down. 10:30 on holiday to me is just is miles too early.

I am most definitely not a night owl! Even on holiday I eat absurdly early and my idea of heaven is bed or balcony with a book and a drink. 2100 would be standard for me! Because of this it's not uncommon at all for DH to stay out later than me. I just literally run out of steam. DH says I'm solar powered, and I think he might be right!!

If you stay out now you will jeopardise tomorrow morning's plans! It may feel early now but imagine what your body will feel like on little sleep in the early morning.

It sounds like a communication problem. I’m well into my 50s and I would have been keen to go into to the bar, as would DH. But there would have been a conversation not me just heading in and him pulling me back. If one of us wanted to go in and the other was tired then we would have compromised. Either popped in for half an hour or agreed to come back the following evening.

How early are you getting up the following morning? I can easily go to bed at 11.30 and be up at 7. And not every visit to a bar has to result in a hangover!

It's way too early for me too, I'd rather have a few drinks and enjoy the music. I don't understand why everyone thinks you can't go to bed at 12 and still get up and enjoy your day the next morning. You can do both

I would be the same as you OP!

But I guess not everyone is. Maybe it’s best to mix it up with some early nights like tonight, and go out a bit later another night.