Family visiting. Sick dad.

[Expatornot]

So my DF has cancer and is undergoing chemo treatment. Him and my DM live in a two bedroom house in a housing estate. My DM has invited her Dsis and husband to visit. They live a far way away.

I have just found out that they are visiting for 3 weeks… I cannot believe my mother has been so selfish. I know my poor dad is hating every moment of this and feeling rotten at the same time.

I have space for them to stay at my house but 1. I don’t really enjoy them, they are loud and not really my kind of people and 2. They would want to be with my DM anyway.

My mother says she needs them. What about what my dad wants?

Your mum might need her sister's support, though 3 weeks is a very long visit.

Can your Dad go and stay with you for a bit?

Are they giving her emotional support? Practical support? It’s tough being the carer for somebody with cancer. So I haven’t voted because I need more info!

I am going to offer for my dad to come and stay with me for a bit. But he won’t do it. He likes his space and his home.

My DM is saying she needs emotional support but I just feel like 2 extra loud people in your small home is a lot for my dad to deal with and his needs should come first.

There is no practical support required. My dad just needs space and anyone who really knew him would know this about him.

She is being selfish but sadly there is not much you can do. Emotional support can be by phone or text, it doesn’t have to be loud and in your home whilst your DH is sick.

Tell you me mother how selfish she is.

She has been told but she says she can’t make them leave now.

Also a bit perplexed how the guests can’t ’read the room’ and see the situation. It’s fairly obvious.

This happened to me and I was fuming but actually having visitors (mine was about 4-5 visitors) staying with my mum and dad for a while was exactly what my dad needed. He was in great spirits - so maybe it won’t be as bad as you think x