Nightmare day back at work after honeymoon

[Hollyj90]

I should start by saying that my workplace is fairly toxic - I’m actively looking for another job.

I’ve just returned from a month long holiday during which I got married and had my honeymoon. This in itself caused some resentment from one or two colleagues in particular as any holiday over two weeks needs special approval and it’s rare it is granted.

Its mainly women colleagues who are the source of such toxicity and there’s only one of them I vaguely get along with.

This colleague was the only person who asked about my wedding/honeymoon - absolutely fine, no issue with this.

Anyway, the point of my post is that on a teams call this afternoon I was asked a question and quickly corrected my answer - someone joked I was still in holiday mode. One of the main colleagues who I dislike then said, in a snappy tone, that ‘that’s one way to say all your brains have been f’cked out on your honeymoon’.

I told her that’s not appropriate and she responded by saying ‘well you’ve not denied it’

I honestly can’t wait to leave. My DH thinks I should report her but I’m of the view it’s not worth the hassle - there was 5 of us on the call and no manager, plus I doubt any of the others would back me up.

He is adamant that if I don’t speak up then it will likely escalate into further remarks. Do you agree I should just keep my head down and focus my efforts in trying to leave?

I agree with your husband, you should raise it but ultimately that’s up to you.

I doubt everyone on the call was comfortable with your colleague speaking in that way.

I would advise raising it informally with your manager initially, in writing.

How close are you to finding something? If you think you might have to slog this out for a few months, I wouldn't bother, but if it's more like weeks then I absolutely would report it.

Report. That is not acceptable in a work setting.

What on earth is wrong with people?! Definitely report.

I think it will embolden her more. She will just be gunning for you in a different way, once she knows you've reported her. Keep your head down and get out ASAP.

Report her, that's vile!

Report her, that’s a disgusting thing to say at work.

disgusting language and not at all appropriate in a work environment.
Report. Word for word.

Absolutely report it

Working women are mostly toxic.
I have no idea why, because I do not think I am, either as a colleague or a manager.
However, I have encountered some "wonders" over the years.
One "boss" was a director in a global bank. Totally useless, nobody liked her and she had no management style. She was demoted back to VP.
Another was totally brilliant, really good communication.
Me, I treat everyone I manage as kindergarten. Lots of setting expectations and boundaries, what acceptable behaviour is etc. etc. but it seems to work.