this man made me uncomfortable and to not want to engage

[MageQueen]

Out at the weekend at a village fair type thing. DD and I were wandering around and when we came back we saw DH had got chatting to a man I didn't know. DH introduces us. This guy works for himself (sort of) in a field that is not a million miles different to the industry I work in, which DH mentioned. great, chit chat.

But within about 2 minutes he was ranting about how "the coutnry is broken" the "NHS Is broken", he wants his dd NOT to be reliant on the "big corporate" because they're all useless and becuas then she'll have to ahnd off 70% of her income in tax....

And basically, I just got more and more uncomfortable (and he certianly wasn't letting me get much of a word in) and like I wanted to leave the conversation, which was pretty obvious. And DH left with me but I think he thought I was a bit rude.

AIBU for not wanting to engage? I did feel rude to be making it so clear I didn't want to stay int he conversation. But then I think, "well, did he think afterwards how rude he was to start ranting on about this stuff to a complete stranger and to assume she would agree with him? and was this even an appropriate time?"

DH also tends to be a bit of a people pleaser. So if someone states opinions like this, loudly and firmly, he won't necessarily agree but he'll say things like, "interesting, yes, it can be tough" or he can give the impression that he's agrees because he tends to assume that people in careers like finance know this stuff in a way he doesn't because he works in the arts. So it's entirely possible he'd given this guy the impression that we, as a couple, agree with him.

Argh, it irritates me that I'm even questioning myself on this.

It's not clear, does DH know this man? Or is he a stranger he got chatting to? I think if DH knows him and has to see him again you could have been more diplomatic tbh. If a stranger - who cares really?

To be fair he was right, the NHS and country as a whole is going down the shitter. But you're equally entitled not to want to engage in a conversation with a stranger. Beware though it's a risk if you go to village fair type events that people will try to talk to you.

You were right because he wasn't talking to you, he was talking at you. I would have done the same.

I think this is it. And it is quite a hardcore approach to someone you've never met (and no, DH didn't know him either).

I can and have had debates with people with this sort of political opinion. But it's in an open conversation, both listening to each other. This sort of ranting, within minutes of meeting each other is just wrong.

@Dotjones we spoke to all kinds of people at the fair. But I guedss I prfer ot keep it fairly superficial. I had a lovely chat with a lady about how she makes her soaps and lotions. DD and I had another chat with someone about jewellery making. I got speaking to another parent about our respective children while they were doing an activity together. Chit chat is fine.

I think I'm also going to ask DH if he was doing that level of ranting at him BEFORE I arrived. Because if not, why did he do it to me? Was it the industry thing? Was it becuase I"m a woman? Not sure.

@MageQueen Because if not, why did he do it to me? Was it the industry thing? Was it becuase I"m a woman? Not sure.

Sheesh. It almost definitely had nothing to do with you. When people behave inappropriately it is almost always to do with them. He could be lonely, he could be having a nervous breakdown, he might just be an arse. I wouldn't dwell on it. Just smile and say 'well, we have to get on, see you later'.

Although I agree with PP that his opinions aren't exactly radical.

If I am talking to someone I have not met before and they start spouting off about something I think is insane I have no qualms about moving on at the first opportunity.