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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want any part of this?

8 replies

usernamechange2124 · 16/06/2025 10:38

I'm going to be a little vague to avoid being identified but basically someone close to me has decided to not only cheat on their partner, but to do it with their stepchild's ex and co parent. They aren't with the stepchild's other parent any more, but the step parent/step child relationship has still been maintained for many years.
The stepchild HAD an amazing relationship with their co parent - or so they thought. Obviously it has caused massive upset, step parent and their affair partner are adamant that it's been years since both marriages ended so the only thing they've done wrong is cheating on their current partners and stepchild is the devil personified for being upset. I don't agree, if someone i still referred to as my step parent slept with my ex/co parent I would be devastated.
I won't offer my opinion unless asked but I've been friends with the step parent for many years and I am just disgusted. AIBU to just back away completely? I can't look at my friend in the same way ever again.

OP posts:
MounjaroMounjaro · 16/06/2025 14:55

I don't understand - they are having an affair with their stepchild's ex?

Pancakeflipper · 16/06/2025 15:01

I am sorry - I think k I have Monday foggy head on and I can't figure out the people dynamics.

I feel for the step-child if their feelings aren't being seen as valid.

Flyswats · 16/06/2025 15:20

Who and What?
So confused by this.

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/06/2025 15:30

So your friend has an ex they broke up with years ago; their ex has an adult child; the adult child has an ex partner they broke up with years ago; your friend has had sex with this ex partner?

I can see how it would ruffle some feathers but once you’ve broken up with somebody, getting upset about who they choose to have sex with years on is dog in the manger and all the drama and histrionics sound a bit much. And I certainly wouldn’t fall out with my own friend over it, or consider it my business to get involved in.

usernamechange2124 · 16/06/2025 16:17

Sorry just to make it a bit clearer. My friend has slept with their step child's ex/parent of their child

OP posts:
inkognitha · 16/06/2025 16:21

A is with B, she has a SC, B's bio child.
Bio child's other parent, C was with D, has now broken up, but D is still involved with SC.
A is now sleeping with D.

Am I correct?

usernamechange2124 · 16/06/2025 16:22

It's the vilifying of the upset adult step child that I don't agree with. Still called my friend their step parent until the day it came out and now is being slagged off to high heaven for being upset about it

OP posts:
usernamechange2124 · 16/06/2025 16:24

Step child had great relationship with ex partner/co parent until they found out about the affair 😢 it's a sad mess to be honest but I know friend will bring it up soon and my opinion is that they and the step child's ex are disgraceful for causing such a rift in their family. And cheating on their SOs of course which is also wrong

OP posts:
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