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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Driveway wars - awkward petty neighbour

472 replies

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:32

We live on a shared drive way (shared with 3 houses). We’re in the middle. Yesterday we had a friend over and I told him to park just outside of our house (on the shared driveway) as house 3 was out. An hour or so later house 3 arrives home - instead of simply asking him to move the car they sat there honking on the horn. It’s a short driveway, they could have parked at the end and walked down to their house (plenty of parking on street at end of driveway) but no. Friend went out and moved his car - no thanks, no acknowledgment. Once they had got passed friend moved his car back where it was.

10 mins later - horn honking outside. House 3 had decided to go out again. Friend goes out to move car. 20 minutes later more honking outside. I went out and approached neighbour asking why she is honking her horn rather than using her words. She said “I need to get to my house and there is a car in the way” 🙄 I said “yes, but you don’t need to honk the horn, just knock”. She said “can’t be arsed getting in and out of car”. I left her to it and friend moved car. Needless to say, 20 mins later, more honking outside.

now it was very obvious that neighbour was deliberately going in and out of driveway to make some kind of point. So we played her game and this went on for about 2 hours before she eventually got bored.

Today, we are having gravel delivered and they will be parking on the shared driveway. Normally I’d warn neighbour to let her know to get her car out of driveway so she doesn’t get stuck but because of yesterdays performance - I’m not going to bother. This isn’t the first time we have had issues with this neighbour btw. AIBU to let her get her car stuck? Chances are she won’t be going out anyway but no doubt as soon as she sees someone parked there she’ll suddenly develop an urgent need to go out 🙄

OP posts:
Lemonbiscuitpls · 16/06/2025 08:56

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:54

Fair enough

So apologise to her
and stop being inconsiderate

Pricelessadvice · 16/06/2025 08:56

You don’t block peoples access to their own homes/drives. A Tesco delivery driver is different as it’s a few minutes, it’s not a visitor staying for hours.
You are being so unreasonable it’s unreal!
Get your visitor to park on the roadway a bit further away and walk up! That’s what normal people do. They don’t block residents access to their own homes.

Michele09 · 16/06/2025 08:56

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

lostinthesunshine · 16/06/2025 08:57

Well, hopefully due to this thread you now know how shared driveways work (they are for access, not for parking), and you will apologise to your neighbour.

I hope your comment about the gravel just means that the driveway will be temporarily blocked while it’s delivered. Not that it will be left there.

vivainsomnia · 16/06/2025 08:57

they could have parked at the end and walked down to their house (plenty of parking on street at end of driveway) but no
How about using that same rationale but using 'my friend' instead of 'they'?

EnterFunnyNameHere · 16/06/2025 08:58

So there is a shared access route which leads to this neighbours house, and you think it's OK for you/your friend to persistently block it? She could have parked at the end and walked to her house, but for some reason you/your friend couldn't?? Interesting!

BMW6 · 16/06/2025 08:58

Thread title should be changed to "I've been an absolute Arse"

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 16/06/2025 08:59

It doesn't matter how much private parking the one house has; it's irrelevant to you - and it's not much use for them anyway if your guests are blocking access to it.

Deliveries are different as they're only there for a very short amount of time and the driver is usually always nearby if you need them to move urgently.

Friends visiting your home are completely different. The neighbour doesn't know how long they're there for, whether they'll be staying overnight, whether they'll be having alcoholic drinks with you. Supposing you did have a friend to stay overnight, I don't think it would be unreasonable for them to pull on to the shared drive for a couple of minutes to unload their luggage, but once they've unloaded, they would then need to move to your own private parking or an available public space on the road.

Whaleandsnail6 · 16/06/2025 08:59

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:51

I can’t upload a diagram. Basically as you turn left into the shared driveway way you have house one on the left (who has a tiny driveway enough for one small car), house 2 on the left which is us - we also have a tiny driveway enough for one small car and then at the end - house 3 who has a huge driveway that goes around in a semi circle - enough for 3 good sized cars. Theoretically friend could have parked on her driveway and she would still have been able to park her own car on there but you can imagine the outrage if we’d done that. She has more space than anyone.

She often gets Tesco deliveries which block the shared driveway but we don’t complain, it’s just what you get with a shared driveway.

Regardless of whether she "still could have parked there" and how much more space than you she has, your friend still should not have parked there!

You admit your friend was blocking her...
"yes, but no need to honk the horn, just knock"

The long and short of it is you and your friend were dicks for purposely leaving the car there after she asked it to be moved once, knowing you were creating an inconvenience

You sound like an awful, petty neighbour trying to create issues but judging by your response, you will never admit you were wrong and want to be even more of a dick with your gravel delivery, thinking thats a big "f you" when you are in the wrong all along

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 16/06/2025 09:00

You expect neighbour to park at end of road and walk to house but not your visitor? You’re repeatedly blocking her driveway and blaming her for being annoyed? I would hate to live next to somebody as entitled as you’re acting.

luckylavender · 16/06/2025 09:00

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:39

He didn’t park on her driveway, he parked outside of our house

Not what you said in your original post. I think you seem totally unreasonable

CountryQueen · 16/06/2025 09:00

You blocked her drive. YABU

EggnogNoggin · 16/06/2025 09:00

You are UNBELIEVEABLY AND SO COMPLETELY wrong in this scenario, its literally mindblowing that you have ANY question about that.

I dont think I've ever used capitals on mumsnet in 5+ years. But WOW.

Itisjustmyopinion · 16/06/2025 09:00

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:51

I can’t upload a diagram. Basically as you turn left into the shared driveway way you have house one on the left (who has a tiny driveway enough for one small car), house 2 on the left which is us - we also have a tiny driveway enough for one small car and then at the end - house 3 who has a huge driveway that goes around in a semi circle - enough for 3 good sized cars. Theoretically friend could have parked on her driveway and she would still have been able to park her own car on there but you can imagine the outrage if we’d done that. She has more space than anyone.

She often gets Tesco deliveries which block the shared driveway but we don’t complain, it’s just what you get with a shared driveway.

Tesco deliveries take 10 mins, you had a guest so not comparable

Get the feeling that you will always think you are right anyway. Poor neighbours

WaltzingWaters · 16/06/2025 09:01

I know it’s not what you wanted from this thread, but YAB massively U. Of course she shouldn’t have to get in and out of her car to ask people to move each time she wants to get on or off her driveway. You only have one parking space, so you should have asked your friend to park elsewhere.

viques · 16/06/2025 09:01

Tarytino · 16/06/2025 08:37

Nope, we and they have been here years. It’s only recently that the woman has started this. Her husband is just bad but he prefers a passive aggressive approach

So how would you describe your approach? A few suggestions in case you are stuck.

spiteful

childish

confrontational

immature

tit for tat

vengeful

EggnogNoggin · 16/06/2025 09:01

luckylavender · 16/06/2025 09:00

Not what you said in your original post. I think you seem totally unreasonable

I think OP is playing with words and it means the same; the shared driveway is outside their house.

Iloveacurry · 16/06/2025 09:02

Your friend really should have parked in the road and not block the shared driveway area.

Aprilrainagainagain · 16/06/2025 09:03

You’re in the wrong. You can’t expect someone to get out and have to ask for access to their own drive.
Get you friend to park elsewhere.
I would never buy a house with shared anything because of people like you.

ohtowinthelottery · 16/06/2025 09:07

By your own admission there is plenty of on street parking. YABU to tell your visitors to park on the shared driveway blocking your neighbour's access. I feel sure it will state in the deeds that access must be maintained. Bit of a difference between a Tesco delivery which comes for all of 5 minutes, and your visitor who parked for an undetermined length of time blocking your neighbour's freedom to come and go as they please.
YABU

NancyBellaDonna · 16/06/2025 09:07

Glad I don't have to live near you.

Do you enjoy upsetting your neighbours?

Be careful it doesn't come back to bite you.

YABU - totally!

rainbowstardrops · 16/06/2025 09:07

You sound like an absolute pain in the arse and I’d hate to live next door to you!

DipsyDee · 16/06/2025 09:08

It’s you that is completely in the wrong and your attitude leaves a lot to be desired

Lighteningstrikes · 16/06/2025 09:08

YanbuIt’s

You shouldn’t be stopping her coming and going as she pleases.

Just imagine if you had to ask your neighbour to shift her car every single time you wanted to go out.

Lighteningstrikes · 16/06/2025 09:08

*yabu

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