To not enjoy books/films where the sexuality is different to my own?

[EdgyCrow]

I have recently started a highly reccommend book. The main love story features two characters who have a different sexuality to myself. Some of the scenes are very graphic and I'm finding myself not enjoying it. I have to say, I am a little bit of a prude and don't generally like very explicit writing about any sexual encounter but I feel like I particularly don't want to continue when it is 2 people of different sexuality to myself. Is this wrong? Do you feel bothered about explicit content you can't relate to?

Hi I'm in a same sex marriage...

If we were house hunting it would be all for exactly the same reasons as you are? What's the difference?

Is it The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo?

What is it to do with?

What do you mean by different sexuality? (Supposing you are a straight woman)
Are the characters lesbians?
Are they straight males and you don’t care what they feel during sex?
Are they gay men?
Or are they into some kind of kink you aren’t into yourself?

It doesn't bother me although I'm not keen generally on books that have romance as the major plot point, and explicit sex scenes aren't my thing either.

I was beyond gobsmacked to learn that its author isn't gay...

YANBU, just as you can’t help who you’re attracted to, you also can’t help what fiction you enjoy or don’t enjoy.

No waaaaaay!!! I had no idea either. I can barely believe it.

I think it’s relatability. I heard a Romy song on the radio where she sang about wanting to be on top of/underneath her female partner and I could appreciate the sentiment. Personal preference is all.

Exactly this. Reading fiction/watching tv can be escapism, fantasy. I don’t fantasise about intimacy with other women so watching lesbian sex doesn’t appeal at all.

This has blown my mind a bit.

Same here. For me half the point of literature and art in general is to take me inside the minds and experiences of people who are nothing like me.

I kind of know what you mean. I felt the same way when I was single and used to go out in gay clubs as a straight woman. The lack of attention in general, and there being no flirting/tension if I did interact with anyone there felt strange to me. It’s unusual to feel invisible as a young woman on a night out. Consequently I never enjoyed it as much as nights out in non-gay bars and clubs.

Mine too. But I suppose it is the same as people who are mysteriously unable to visualise houses they’re viewing with different decor, or furniture in different places.

I don't mind it myself but you're allowed to have preferences, don't stress it.

I have read a few novels about love between people who have a different sexuality

I may not be able to relate to them not being honest for fear of prejudice or even their own confusion about their sexuality but I can relate to the all consuming feeling of falling in love, the excitement, the fear, the overwhelming emotions and the pain of being broken hearted

Giovanni’s Room is the most beautifully written tragic love story I have ever read (and one of my favourite books)

Yeah!
And listening to an audio book with 'spice' - totally embarrassing.
I find it all a bit boring to be honest, how many ways can they describe rubbing, stroking etc

Ha when I was growing up there were no books really with my sexuality I had to settle for straight romance all the time. Luckily now there's more to relate to

I have no interest in books with sex scenes, I wouldnt call it prudish it is not the type of books I read, I have no issue with different sexuality characters if they get on with and not a flag waving 'look over here aren't we special' political thing

Characters have relationships that is normal but no need to make a song and dance about it

I find it a bit odd to only want to read things that echo your own experience, I like to experience and imagine different lives through reading. And even though my experience may be different there will be elements I can relate to.

I may not have had the same sexual exeriences as a character becuase they have a different sexuality from me, but I have experienced sexual pleasure and I have experienced love, lust, and sexual attraction, so I can use that to imagine a characters feelings. If everything we read and watched was an exact reflection of our own lives it would be unbelievably dull surely ?

I’m staggered by that too. Fine not to be able to get into an explicit sex scene that isn’t sexy to you, but I’m stunned that someone would think a gay couple’s househunting experience is somehow different from a straight couple’s.

That’s a really interesting question. I’ve heard of Storm Constantine but haven’t read any of her work - do you remember the name of the books?

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin is another famous example, and I’m trying to remember if Tanith Lee ever wrote anything similar.

I know a couple of authors writing similar things now - Ann Leckie wrote the Ancillary Justice series about ten years ago, and there’s the Murderbot series by Martha Wells.

There are probably lots of recent books where the characters using different/ non-standard pronouns, but that’s not quite the same as what you’re asking. Possibly @iwentjasonwaterfalls and @bluehex can suggest others.

My post above is in response to @CrystalSingerFan - thought I had quoted her post 🤦‍♀️

I'm not really into explicit scenes of any kind. Rarely does it bring anything to the story (which is as much to do with the kind of books I read) You can flip pages and nothing is detracted.

OMG the number of people on this thread who are so keen to tell everyone that sexy books are beneath them. Congratulations puritans.

It's always good to be reading and the content is none of anyone else's business.