BIL taking drugs in my house?

[GoldieLocks09]

BIL has been through it recently, split with his long term partner, doesn’t really have anywhere to live so is between family, and has 2 DC. He’s been here over the weekend and I’ve just gone to change the sheets in the spare room and saw there was some white powder on the side table.. on closer inspection with my phone light you can see a hand mark has wiped it whereas I’d always use a microfibre cloth which you can see on the other side of it. He has had some issues in the past with it but we’ve just had a lovely family day with 8+ kids here (ours and his included), surely he wouldn’t be doing it here?

AIBU to tell DH that he can’t come here anymore? My DC are very young, his are pre-teen, we love having them here especially when he doesn’t have anywhere else to go while he sorts himself out but I can’t have that in my house?!

You are not being unreasonable not to want drugs in your house OP. However, have you actually discussed this with your DH? Are you sure that it is what you think it is? I think you need to ask questions before deciding that your BIL is banned from the house in future.

He would never be in my house again.

I would be happy to have his DC for the day and take them out, but no drug user spends time in my house.

What makes you think it is coke?

@BakelikeBertha i called DH in immediately, we both gave it a sniff and looked at it (hence the research with the phone light etc) but neither of us would know one way or another. We obviously don’t have any drugs tests in the house but know that he did have a problem with it last year (he said it took over his life for about a year) which ultimately led to the downfall of his relationship - he said he hasn’t done it in months but despite not paying for rent or a mortgage at the moment he’s without any money and struggling financially which never made sense

Nope, if its definetly cocaine you are well within your rights to not have him in your home again.
I had the exact same problem. BIL, SIL and their child staying for a weekend, BIL had gone out with friends for the night, I woke up in the morning to a bag of coke on my dining table. I have 2 teens in the house and they have a 3 year old, that was the last time he was welcome in our house.

@Barrenfieldoffucks previous issues with coke specifically.. openly admits he had a problem with it unfortunately

I think given his previous history of cocaine use, it seems likely that he's still using. It's pretty bad if he's sneaking upstairs to snort while you're having a family day with kids there! I would say this is for your DH to speak to his brother about and make it very clear that he is not to bring drugs into your house or visit while he is under the influence. Hopefully your DH will be able to persuade him to seek help.

Telling him isn't going to make him stop. I wouldn't have him in the house with my children. No wonder he doesn't have any money and his relationship has ended.

So you say that you called your DH in immediately, and you seem pretty sure that it IS coke, so what are your DH's thoughts on banning him from your home? I certainly wouldn't want him in mine!

This man has to face his demons before he looses his kids never mind having lost his partner. You’re doing him a favour by calling him out on it. He needs to make his choice