Should DH see the GP for this?

[ConfusedSloth]

DH’s memory is seemingly getting worse. Not a sudden onset, over the past 5 years or so just deteriorated. He’s fit and healthy, in his 20s. Only potentially relevant medical history is that he’s managed to get himself a fair few concussions over the years playing rugby and also has dyspraxia (which probably contributed to the concussions tbh). Some examples below, both today:

This morning, getting ready to go out, I take out outfits for the children. For DS(5), I get out two shirts so he can choose which one he prefers. DH comes in with DD and asks why DS has two shirts out. I explain that it’s so he can choose, he says ok. DS then comes in and asked why he has two shirts out, I explain that it’s so he can choose which he prefers. A minute later, DH asks me why DS has two shirts out - he has literally no memory of having already asked me that, or DS asking, and me having explained it twice in the last three minutes.

We then get in the car to see my dad (about a two hour drive) and after about 15 minutes California Dreaming comes on the playlist. DH says that it’s crazy to him that the song is 60 years old. I say he’s absolutely incorrect, I cannot believe it, that is wild! So, I look it up and he is completely correct - came out in 1965!! We have a discussion about how generations before us wouldn’t have found that longevity in popular music, and proceed to guess what years subsequent songs on the playlist were from. We get to DDad’s and spend the day. Part of the day is DH discussing the same thing with DDad about how old the song was (including naming the song and its year of release) and about how DDad (almost 70) wouldn’t have listened to songs from the 20s/30s…

Now, back in the car coming home and the playlist shuffled back to California Dreaming and he goes “now, I guess this song is probably from the 50s”. I looked at him weirdly for a good few minutes. He has no memory that this was the song that started the whole conversation and that he was the one who told me that it was from 1965!

Should he see someone for this?

Rugby players!!!!

We love their bodies but, boy, are they stubborn?

I used to help out at the club cooking their after game meals & helping to look after other wives/GF kids. Must confess I loved the camaraderie.

But then they would insist on us coming out of the kitchen - singing at us as they were all rather pissed by then. 'We luurve you ladies we doo...' yes, ok, but someone needs to do the washing up & put everything away & we have children who need to go home. 🙄

Mine also did triathlon, ran at least 5 miles a day...though when we had 3 children under the age of 5 & he got fruity in the mornings I'd say 'FFS go for a run, maybe when you get back' by then I'd be up & getting kid's breakfast etc😂

I've no idea how we managed to have 5 children with him running his restaurant, 2 takeaways, me working 3 days a week & his rugby matches, training, running triathlons etc. 😂

My DH is so similar to this, also has dyspraxia (but then do so I and don’t forget things like this). Won’t see a doctor about it, his parents just brush it off as him not listening. Today I asked him to tell his parents to let me know when they were setting off to drop DC off as we were both going out separately, I come back home to them sitting on the drive with no notification from DH. A couple of months ago we wake up to the baby bath in the hallway, DH came to bed last, DC are too small to have moved it. He claims it could have been to remind him to do something but has no memory of moving it. We had to set up a shared calendar as it got so bad with him forgetting what we were doing day by day and what his responsibilities were (mainly childcare when I did evening work).

How is he doing at his work, as I wonder if colleagues/bosses have raised any concerns? But you may not have been told anything by him about that, it's just something that came into my mind.

Yes, your husband absolutely needs to see someone. If your husband has played rugby and suffered multiple concussions during the time he played, then it's possible there's been some damage. I speak as someone who's had a brain injury, and I can't remember how to spell words, literally have no clue on what letters I need but if the word is written down for me, I'd know if it was spelt correctly, my brain process information much slower so it can take longer for me to learn things and I struggle with my memory.

Absolutely definitely yes goto the GP!

Also out of interest, but absolutely not instead of going to the GP you could get him to do this memory test:

www.mdcalc.com/calc/10208/abbreviated-mental-test-amt-10

Those other instances are really concerning, OP. I think he needs to see a doctor tomorrow. I doubt he'll see the need for it, but you will have to insist on it.

Was this less of a problem before the rugby incident?

Definitely speak to the Gp. We have a family member who is under the local memory clinic team.

there are charities which might be helpful too:
https://headforchange.org.uk
https://www.headway.org.uk

Thinking of you today OP - hope you've managed to make an appointment