Not to take the kids out of school?

[YourAzureScroller]

Dc are both currently in primary but Dd1 will be moving up to high school in September

We go on holiday with Pil and Sil about once every two years or so
It's always arranged around the children and school holidays

Dm has tried a few times now to arrange a holiday with us in the UK and is getting rather upset with us for refusing to take the DC out of school for a uk break

The problem is that they earn most of their money in the school holidays so naturally do not want to go away then and Db hasn't got children so they all enjoy the cheaper breaks when the children are in school.

Currently they want to book a weeks holiday just over 4 hours away in February and us join them for part of it.

We would need to skip school on a Friday and Dp take a holiday day traveling down first thing have the whole day Saturday then leave Midday Sunday with me taking Sunday as a holiday day.

Or leave after school on the Friday getting there at around 9 pm, a ferry is involved so we would need to catch this as well

We couldn't leave on the Thursday to give a second full day as dp won't finish work till 6pm

Aibu to say no?

No, you’re not being unreasonable for prioritising your children’s education over your DM’s desire for a cheaper holiday. I suggest you start getting ‘upset’ with her whenever she suggests it!

YANBU that's ridiculous that she thinks she's entitled to get you to pull the kids out of school so she can have them and you go off on a jolly with her.

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with DC missing one day in an academic year for a lovely weekend away with extended family.

I wouldn't mind missing one day of school. Could you not leave later on the Sunday though and come back at the kids' bedtime and they sleep in the car?

Neither of you are being unreasonable.

I thought it was going to mean the kids missing a whole week of school, but I wouldn't have a problem with a long weekend. I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

Can't let them sleep in the car driving back as they both get car sick and we would be restricted by ferry times as well getting home

I think I wouldn't mind missing a day so much if they actually put the effort in any other time as they live so close

They want to go 4 hours away to a house by the beach to do fun dog walks
This is something they and I enjoy but not the kids

But the beach is a 3 minute walk from my house, a different beach is a 10 minute walk from theirs but they won't spend a day or afternoon with us there

We all work full time so finding time off together is difficult, even planning 2 hours at some point over christmas for the DC to see them becomes a mission

I wouldn't plan a weekend with tight timings that involves a ferry in February, at all.

And no, I wouldn't take my dc out of school, especially for something the dcs don't enjoy. The whole idea seems pointless.

I wouldn’t miss a whole week or anything but assuming attendance is otherwise fine it sounds good to me. But ultimately it’s your decision as parents and that should be respected.

if I had my time again I would! Do you not get on with them op?

my family always went on holiday together, grandparents -siblings and their children.
my siblings always took the kids out of school for up to a week during term time but I did not as I was admittedly rather anal about them missing school.

Now it’s something I regret as my nieces and nephews best memories are of those holidays.

looking back I’d rather have the time together than a few days at school.unless of course your relationship with the in-laws are not great!

If it was a few days or a week but one day really wouldn’t cause me a huge issue. You could even do a half day and leave after lunch. I’ve never done a term time holiday either so understand that but a day wouldn’t cause me a huge concern

I would (and am) taking a kid out of school for one day soon to create a long weekend break that aligns with another kids inset. It’s June, and something we all want to go and do. I am not sure id do it for a tight turn around weekend in February involving a ferry and beach dog walks.

It sounds like you just don’t want to go? In which case I’d totally just say that.

“Sorry Mum, that’s not something the kids will enjoy so we’ll give it a miss this year and hope you all have a great time”

So they could see a lot more of you and your children because you live really close but don't bother but are getting upset because you won't take your kids out of school for a holiday in term-time? Is this because you go on holiday with your in-laws and they see this as a competition and think that your in-laws get preferential treatment?

I wouldn’t mind taking them out of school for a couple days for something special and beneficial. But if you’re not that fussed on the holiday with the in-laws as they generally make no effort anyway then I wouldn’t bother.

And really the beach in feb. You might be lucky and get a few dry days but it’s unlikely. I grew up on the coast and Feb is peak storm month

Of course your children should be in school. I'm shocked that your in laws don't think education is important.

Suggest something based around your kids' inset days? Otherwise no, I might remove kids from school for the day for something important, but not just to suit someone else's schedule.

You could still go on a Friday after school and back Sunday evening if it's near enough.