To feel there is more and more evil people out there?

[Nanechangeqqf]

I don’t want to feel like this but hoping I might get some insight: I feel there is more and more evil people out there. I don’t know if evil is the right word maybe just nasty people but please don’t get stuck on my choice of words! I knows it’s AIBU but I’m not thinking I’m just writing what’s coming into my head.

It’s just everywhere I go people are rude, horrible and just not very nice. I’ve been told I’m very polite and well mannered and I wonder if I’m just too soft or if the world really is getting like this?

I’ve stopped telling my family or friends anything nice that happens in my life as I just see the envy in their faces. I used to be naive before and tell people everything but I feel as I’m getting older I’m keeping more to myself / anyone else feel like this?

Truthfully I’m not just saying this but I’m genuinely chuffed when people tell me good news, I’m not envious at all. How can I stop feeling disheartened? I don’t want to stop talking to people but I often feel I just can’t express anything good.

Interested to know how others respond to this. I wonder whether there might be an element of many people (who are online often) subconsciously comparing themselves to others whose lives they never would have known anything about pre-internet. I think it’s compounded by only seeing the “highlights” and losing touch with the rough that comes with the smooth in real people’s lives, no matter how glamorous looking. I reflect on my grandfather who grew up poor in a poor town, but he has a rich life in so many ways (culturally, socially and in family) and the only basis of comparison they had was the richer or poorer people in the same town!

Of course people will say “I see social media highlights etc but I don’t compare” but the truth is that research shows that our brain can’t filter out those feelings and it’s terrible for us.

The sad truth is that the only people I really trust with my happiest news anymore is my husband and my mum. I share it with others at times but I also know that even if not envious, that “comparisonitis” might make people feel anxious or down, and I don’t want that for the people I love. Everyone goes through hard times in different ways and at different, unexpected times. I have also been really disappointed when I’ve heard of others’ envy from colleagues etc… people who don’t know me and could never imagine (or don’t care) what horrors preceded this chapter in my life. And things will change again, so I just want to enjoy the going while it’s good!

As for the rudeness, I don’t know that I agree. I live somewhere with more of a permanent community now where there are fewer transient people, and I’ve found it to be more polite than where I’ve lived previously, as everyone’s aware that you never know who knows who etc. It’s unexpectedly lovely.

@TwoUnderTwitTwoo really thoughtful answer thank you. I don’t actually use social media tbh. I have a Facebook account from well before I was married and I don’t think I’ve logged in for at least 2 years,

I feel the same. One of my siblings is particularly bad for it.

I don’t think I’d have used the word evil, but I’ve noticed a huge uptick in anti social behaviour generally. I think it’s caused by a combination of different factors, but it’s like everyone is simmering with stress all the time.

Is MN not social media?
I think the rise of the internet definitely plays a part - there are no visual social clues online so people don’t know when to stop or when they have overstepped the mark.

Ignorant & selfish, maybe. But not evil in the traditional sense, which has an twinge of morality and religious non-obedience.

I’ve stopped telling my family or friends anything nice that happens in my life as I just see the envy in their faces.

Are you sure that's what you're seeing?

Plus, there's nothing wrong with envy anyway, every human feels it from time to time.

Jealousy would be a different kettle of fish.

@SwanRivers jealousy and envy are two sides of the same coin in my book

@Nanechangeqqf I wouldn't describe it as evil, but I know what you mean. People are generally a lot less happy. They seem to have lost the ability to be happy for other people. I don't feel like I can share even neutral news. It's weird.

A friend got a big pay rise the other day and she said "I'm only telling you because I can't really tell anyone else". You should be able to celebrate that with your friends. Then I have another person in my life who commented "that's just her way of covering up her bragging". It's nuts. But that second person is acting quite strangely at the moment. And getting quite bitter, I think.

Obviously, people aren't going to tell you everything, but what I find really noticeable is there doesn't appear to be a reason for her getting bitter and twisted.

i'm at a point where I don't know a lot of people, but to be honest, I am no longer worried about it. I have met far too many weird people in recent years. I was very badly affected by lockdown but I don't think that's what it is with these people.

I do think a lot of people are becoming weird because of politics and the media they consume. And there's a perception that you're a bad person if you are not terribly concerned with things that are happening 5000 miles away. It's odd.