Birthday money for a baby/toddler

[Username73638]

If a baby or very young child (who is too young to understand the concept of money/gifts and choose something to spend it on) is given money or a gift card, what should be done with it?

A) Save it until they’re old enough to choose something.

B) Parent goes out with money/gift card and specifically chooses a toy or something fun to buy with that money for the child.

C) Parent absorbs the money into their own funds with the understanding they buy their child toys/treats/days out etc. regularly and so the money is put towards that in a broad sense, but not in a designated way. (I hope that makes sense).

Which of these options are acceptable?

Trying to stay neutral in my wording and not give away what mine and my husband’s opinions are!

Definitely not c and a or b depends for me on whether there is a particular toy that the child doesn't have that could be bought with the money and then you can update the giver

Either a or b are fine. C is absolutely not on.

A family friend gave my first child £30 for his first birthday - we bought his first pair of shoes (on his birthday) with it (and updated family friend).
Every birthday or time child has had money since its gone in to their savings. Same with second child.

A or B. Usually we did B and sent a thankyou letter saying what the money had been spent on. Never C. As the child grew older still A or B but present choice was that of the child and they wrote thank you letters indicating how money was spent.

To me as someone who has given a lot of money as gifts to new and young parents over the years I'd say it entirely depends on their income and their choices as the DCs parents. I have come to expect A if they are well off, B if comfortable, C if less so or everyday necessities if struggling as many are in the early years

As a new parent to be honest it's mostly been absorbed as we have not got round to opening an account yet, but we've put aside far more then we've given for DC to put in. This is the other thing I wouldn't expect new parents to have to do something for me to feel my gift has been fulfilled

I’d never do C, but friends do and I can’t get worked up over it. The child is still benefiting.

Most of the time I do A, but if DS wants something specific/I see a cute outfit or gift that the gifter would enjoy (for example, a kids sensory science book where the gifter was a scientist) I’ll get it so I can send cute photos with the thank you.

Money goes into savings account. Vouchers can used on toys / clothes for them. You can’t save vouchers / gift cards until they’re older they expire within 12 months

It also somewhat depends on how much money. £10-20 on a gift card that will expire: spend it on something they want.
£500+ find an appropriate way to save it

Lots of variation in between!

We do C. I don't see the problem? I buy my kids toys, days out etc v regularly- what does it matter if it's paid for by the exact ten pound note that was gifted by a relative or not?

If there's capacity in household budget, put it all into a savings account until they are older.

All DD3 money has gone into a child account. I want them to have a house deposit more than toys. If she wants/ needs something it comes out of our wage. Family seems happy with this arrangement.

all money I’ve been given for my two has gone into savings so far as they’re too young to get the concept of saving up for a specific toy. B would also be fine imo but C I’m not so convinced by really, unless they are on the bones of their arse and need to money to keep the lights on.

We normally save it, but if I gifted someone money and they did C I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.

My 98 year old grandma is the only person who sends DDs money (rather than buying a gift), and she prefers to know what it’s gone towards so we do option b and tell her.
She wouldn’t be cross if we did option A, but I think would be a little sad just because she would like to choose a gift herself but is bad at tech, and not mobile enough to go to the shop.

All is acceptable. If money is tight C is OK, the child is fed and clothed and benefitting from the parents lifestyle. I admit I'd be judgemental on what it's spent on. Contributing towards a family meal in a restaurant which wouldn't happen otherwise is OK. Or petrol for a day out or a treat for everyone. Cigarettes and alcohol, no way.

i would Only do a snd b

if a - would write a card saying ‘thanks for money - I’ve put it in their savings account’

if felt there was something they needed / wanted I would spend it on directly on THEM and write card saying ‘thanks for money - we used it to buy a swimming costume / a Thomas train for his train set / some clothes for their baby doll

could never do c - could never l ‘absorb’ it into family finances - just feels utterly wrong to me.

I think either is fine with the cavet that for C I would send a photo of the child enjoying a specific experience and a thank you message eg “Aunty Helen we spent the money on a day out at the farm. It was great. Thank you x”

Either a or b. Or spent on a day out of money is perhaps tight. “Auntie Betty kindly bought this day out to the zoo for your birthday, we’ll make sure to thank her”.

This.

My parents used to do C (granted I was older than toddler) and I resented it. We do A as don’t want to add more clutter if do B.