Struggling with no contact in month 2 - should I expect any?

[Torties]

After 2 years my partner broke up with me. It was a shock because we'd been talking about getting married and making plans for the future. All of a sudden he was being distant and I asked to have a conversation. During this conversation we broke up. He said yeah we're really happy now, but there are some things I feel like if we don't look at them now it could be trouble later (things he NEVER mentioned before). Instead of talking things through, he walked. He even said he loved me still before saying goodbye.

Not long before this I received a chronic illness diagnosis. I've been left feeling like this is the true reason he left and I think it's possible. It doesn't limit me too much but I have flare ups here and there.

Since we broke up I've heard nothing at all. The two times I've checked social media I can see he hasn't blocked me. I haven't decided yet to block him or not. I suppose I thought that with the new diagnosis he might check in now and then. The waves of grief are overpowering, I'm so unhappy.

It feels like a cold water shock to go from in love to zero. It's so lonely day to day too - this is the person who cared about my day. Now no one cares about my day. I have friends and family i see sometimes but let's face it, it's not the same.

So sorry youre going through this. I think you're right that the diagnosis has sent him running. Do not waste another single second on pining for him. He's a shit, he's not the amazing person you thought, he's seen an issue and run for the hills. You need to focus on you, block him, don't be tempted to throw yourself at his door and beg for his love and attention.

@toomuchfaff thank you.

A couple of weeks before the break up, he asked for more info about the illness than he'd ever asked before. When I asked why he was asking all these questions he replied 'oh so I can support you the best I can.' 🙄

So far I've stayed really strong in no contact but I miss him so much. Im early 30s and also feel like this might be my last chance to have a family too. And I've wasted that time with him, so I'm upset over that too.

I suspect that you are probably correct in that your diagnosis has sent him running for the hills. Once he had all the information regarding your illness, he decided to walk. He wasn't honest with you, and made up some excuses as his reasons for leaving. I know it's hard, but see this as a blessing in disguise. It's better he walks now, at the start, than in another 2-4 years time. He's shown you that when life throws crap at you, and it gets tough, he's not prepared to stand by you and offer support. You don't want a man like this... You might have thought he'd check in on you, but the fact he hasn't speaks volumes, doesn't it? He's not interested. Cutting contact and having a clean break is absolutely the best option, for you, although I know you don't believe it right now. Don't contact him. Give yourself time to heal. Do the things you enjoy.

I also suspect that he’s walked because of the diagnosis. Many men leave partners when they are sick. He’s a shit and he’s done you a favour.
I would block him. It hurts more to start with but it heals more quickly. The loneliness is tough I know but it will pass in time.

What a pig. Im so sorry. My dad left my mum soon after she was diagnosed with parkinsons at a v young age. So shallow and thick.

At early 30s you have a huge life ahead OP and every chance to have a family. I promise all will feel better with time. Try to enjoy life, socialise, see if there's a hobby you'd like to develop. Try to enrich your life first and recover from the shock x

I think he dumped you over your illness. He found out more and bailed.

Don't expect him to contact you. What he did most people find reprehensible and would give him grief about it. You would be better off to block him. He's a POS.

it just makes sense because the reasons he was waffling about seemed non-sensical and didn't make sense. I mean how would he have looked if he'd said I'm leaving because I can't be arsed with your illness and will now go off and seek some younger healthier woman? (what i'm imagining anyway!)

@Evaka you're right I've been in shock. I felt I was coming through the shock after month 1 but now it's hitting me hard again. I was also worried about finding a supportive partner and this has sort of confirmed that maybe no one will want to be with me.