To retrain as a midwife in my 30s

[Oranesandlemons]

Hi,

I have always always wanted to be a midwife but encouraged out of it when I was younger. I did a completely unrelated BA degree, then a PGCE. I am now looking to go back to work and my DH is encouraging me to take this opportunity to do something I would love. So taking the following into account, I would love to hear any experiences

• I am in my early 30s - so not really young but a long time left to work and would love to do this in a career I feel passionate about
• I have 3 DC - baby up to primary school ages. Currently a SAHM
• My husband earns well and regular (although long) hours with some flexibility. He is very supportive but I have some concerns about us going to us both working when we’re used to me having been at home
• The last time I studied was PGCE in 2017

So AIBU to consider this?!

I’d love to hear from any midwives who love or hate their job, people who have retrained with young kids, managing shift work etc. Thank you so much!

Although I'm not a midwife, I think you should do it. If you have the opportunity and the drive, this could be one of those things you always look back on and think "I really wish I had".
At the end of the day though it's your choice. I wish you all the luck in the world!

We always need decent, compassionate midwives.

I became a midwife in my 30s - started training age 34 and recently retired. I loved it from the beginning. I found the studying hard but really thrived on the practical side. It is a massive commitment and you will have to do night shifts and weekends so your childcare and family support will need to be rock solid. My youngest child was 9 when I started and my parents basically gave them a second home as DH was working away from home. It's also quite a tough job with heavy responsibilities but very rewarding.

I retrained for a different career in my 30s and never looked back.

Just need you to be aware that there is a significant NHS recruitment freeze for UK workers and the NHS is actively recruiting overseas workers instead. There are a few thousand newly qualified midwives right now who can’t get jobs. However, there are other countries actively recruiting UK qualified medical professionals - New Zealand, Australia, South Africa.

Hopefully there will be some midwives who can tell you the reality of the job today. My understanding is that it is very high stress. One maternity unit I know about - around 90% of the women end up with c-section or forceps delivery.

I have a relation who is a midwife and it is incredibly hard but fulfilling. A few of their colleagues are on long term sick so lots of bank shifts available.

I was 29 I think when I started my training and my dc were 12 months, 4 and 6.

It was hard. Uni blocks and placement blocks. Placements are full time 37.5hrs and include long shifts, night shifts and weekends as well as more normal working hours when on community or in places like antenatal clinic. When on placement you often have assignments to be working on or exam prep. My course was often quite badly planned for assignments really with little to do on the uni blocks and then all the essays to write while on placement plus our huge evidence files to work on!

Once you qualify you'll do a preceptorship which generally means you'll rotate through all the different areas and gain all your skills and competencies and get to the level of being able to be signed off to work as a band 6 midwife

As a job it is hard. Very hard. Many places have staffing shortages and it can be brutal. Midwifery is a very,every challenging place to be right now for many reasons.

I found long shifts very difficult. I didn't see my children for several days in a row because they were in bed when I got home and I was up and out before they work up. Or I would be on nights sleeping in the day and see them briefly on my way out the door in the evening. Planning is hard, can you say that you will be able to go to that event in a few weeks? You have no idea. The annual leave is done a good year or so ahead and requests are just requests, not guaranteed. So you put a request in and if you don't get it you try to swap but you still might not make it.

On the other hand it is a rewarding job. I have specialised now and have Monday to Friday office hours which is lovely. I get to shape services and I get to work on a public health area that I love while still working clinically with families. I have colleagues who love being on labour ward and who find that shift life suits them and other who have chosen other areas. Of the top of my head from those I graduated with we have some no longer in midwifery but who are in related areas having done further study to become HV or school nurses. We have some happily being band 6 midwives on labour ward or postnatal. Some working in slightly more predictable areas such as pregnancy assessment or clinic for family reasons and some are now ward managers or labour ward coordinators. There are also some who have left midwifery completely and are not in related fields. There is a high rate of people leaving both during the degree and in the first few years of practice and I think you need to go in to it with your eyes open.

Worth seeing if you can get some volunteering to get on the wards. We have volunteers as part of the hospital who go on different areas and some come to us and go round making drinks for mums, chatting to them, spending time with those who are more vulnerable and maybe don't have visitors etc. It's a good way of being able to get in there are see the reality. Another way is seeing if you can get a bank healthcare role but this is more challenging to fit in to your current life.

When you are on a placement block you will be expected to do evenings, weekends, bank holidays. There's no 9-5, you will be expected on shift at all hours, so make sure you have childcare in place out of hours.

Do it. I’m in my 40s and would love to train as a midwife, but financially it’s not possible.

Practically it's a challenge and will take some thought as to how you'll manage things, but to me, if you don't at least try, you'll probably regret it when it's too late.

If you try and it doesn't work out, at least you've given it a shot.

I'm about to start training to be a pilot after 15 years working as a nurse. It's always been my dream but never been within reach due to finances/family. It's going to be a challenge, but I will be very sad if I get to old age and never allowed myself the opportunity to try. I've saved up money, my husband is supportive, I'm going for it.

Two of my friends didthis, both very successful and both got high up in midwifery

I would say go for it.
My stepdaughter is just about to finish her training and has 2 job offers.
she has young children. The youngest would have just turned 1 when she started.
It is tough- and luckily she has lots of support with the children for unsociable hours etc.

I qualified as a midwife a year ago, after going back to uni at 38. I also have 3 young children. Midwifery, especially at the moment, isn’t for the feint hearted. It’s hard!! Having said that, I absolutely love my job and don’t regret it for a second.

I was a HCP in a former life and worked with midwives. You need a solid plan for how you will juggle childcare with your shifts on placement, attending lectures and studying. The dropout rate for nursing and midwifery courses is high because people often underestimate the time commitment and lack of flexibility. HCP degrees are really unlike most other degrees in terms of the hours you're expected to put in, the standard of professionalism expected from the word go and the level of responsibility placed on you. It can be really rewarding, don't get me wrong, but you need to go into it with your eyes open.

Who will look after the baby and your other DC when you're on placement if your DH is at work? You could be working long days (12.5 hour shifts) or 8 hour shifts, depending on the hospital. You may have to be on shift at 7am if you're on a day shift, and you will have to do Nights as well. You can also be placed in a hospital/team some distance away, it will not necessarily be your closest hospital so you have to factor in commuting as well. You need really reliable childcare and a strong support network. You also need time, and peace and quiet, to write assignments and study for exams. Its great that your DH is supportive but you need to make sure he understands the reality, and that he is going to have to step up big time if you're going to get through the 3 year course.

In truth midwifery is not what it used to be, and there isnt enough staff to give you the time to spend with the woman and not the paperwork - and many trusts do have a recruitment freeze so newly qualified are struggling to get jobs

I also found, anecdotally, that people who had been stay at home mothers often seemed to struggle during their training - both mentally as it's hard to accept that you won't be there for every little thing - and kids can be good at guilt tripping you, and also because they still try and do everything they did before and their partner doesn't step up

To do the training with little kids (I had 3 under 5) you need a LOT of suppport - now that can be your partner but you need good childcare and a back up child care (I only needed that back up twice I think)

You will be stressed while doing it and it changes you as a person - that said I'm still glad I did it

Think about WHY you want to be a midwife, think about how you will cope with the sad side of the job (and when someone dies - because it's not an if it is a when - for the majority of the time that someone is an unborn, some brand newborn and in very rare cases it can be the woman - being questioned and reflecting on if you did everything you could - that could be being questioned in coroners court) and what you want to do in that career

I know when I started my training we were told 10% who start will quit the course, 10% will get pregnant and 10% will get divorced. I would argue the attrition rate is higher (and those who consider it far higher again - but your cohort will get you through and you will develop excellent bonds)

I work at a uni with a midwifery programme.

We have lots of women in their 30s apply.

PPs have said a lot of what I would - that you need rock solid childcare in place. You will do shifts all over. You are likely to need your own car, they can't state this but it's much easier.

Where I am, younger students - those living away from home for the first time - tend to be given the easier to get to, close to uni placements. More mature students get given the ones further away even though these are the ones who then struggle with childcare.

These courses often run longer than other degree courses so you may be in uni or on placement over school holidays. You will not be the only mature student and/or parent on the course by a long way so you will not get any special dispensation for having caring commitments.

Year 2 and 3 students are currently really stressed about the job market. There are definitely fewer vacancies than there have been. Post covid and with a lot of financial difficulties in higher education, the number of students is increasing on courses which leads to more competition for jobs, as well as placements much further from uni as they need to find more trusts to take the numbers.

The mature students I've spoken to doing the course love it, they're so dedicated and just really really want this and if you do, then go for it. You are still really young! Just be fully prepared for what the course involves. Good luck!

The two trusts that cover the 5 main towns in our area are not employing any of their student midwives this year.