Husband Still Being Mean

[TheCoralMoose]

Further to previous posts i gave him another chance.

Today he got me a sandwich and when it was eaten gave me a pie he had sandwich and pie too. This was at 1pm.

Half a hour later he said his daughter phoned taking him for a curry at 6pm i must go.
I said no im not going.
He went beskerk at me grabbed my arm said i do nothing with him.

I feel really ill lately light headed tingle in chest sleeping a lot crying.
He poked me in the eye last week.

I assume you were told he was abusive and you need to leave.

Have you contacted a domestic abuse organisation for advice?

That’s assault. Are you married to this bully?

Gently OP but you've been given advice on previous threads. You'll get the same again.

Maybe follow it?

Yes.

@TheCoralMoose what do you want to hear?

What do you need from this thread? Advice? Somewhere to vent? Support?

He poked you in the eye - on purpose??

advice support.

You can contact the National Domestic Abuse helpline which is available 24/7 or Refuge webchat which is available until 10pm during the week and until 6pm at the weekend.

He's escalating his abuse so get advice asap.

His behaviour goes beyond mean,the grabbing, poking you in the eye if this is new he will cross the line further .It could very well escalate into you being seriously assaulted and he'll blame you.
Hopefully you follow some of the sage advice you will receive on here.

@TheCoralMoose

Advice on staying/leaving/how to cope?

Is there anyone near you, that you trust, who could help?

He sounds very abusive OP. Please get in contact with Women's Aid and get help and support to leave. I know it's scary and difficult but you will be free and safe. Don't suffer in this relationship any more, you deserve better.

OP I've just been reading some of your previous posts made over the past few months. From what you've detailed it's as clear as day that your H is an abusive (sometimes physically) bully.

You've been given lots of advice on previous threads about organisations to contact to get away from this man. Please read them again and follow some of the advice.

Youve said you've been married 24 years but it's his house and you're not on the deeds. After such a long marriage that's irrelevant and you should get something. Are you working yet? If you're able to it would be good to get yourself into employment, but you'd be entitled to some benefits anyway,

Please don't give him any more chances. He's not going to change. You need to be strong and brave and take the first step by calling an organisation such as Women's Aid. They'll give you the support and help to deal with this. Good luck.

See a good solicitor

With the greatest of respect & sensitivity, you've already been given advice (LEAVE HIM!) but you chose not to take it. Nothing has changed. He's still an abusive asshole that you need to get away from.

I think that I am on the deeds.

When he bought the first house we lived in i wasnt on that because we werent married then.

However when he sold that house and he was buying another the solicitor who was doing the conveyancing said because we were married i had to be added to the deeds im very sure thats what the solicitor said it was almost 12 years ago.

I am worried because i havent worked for 18 years i just havent the confidence but i do want to get into the work force asap.

I have gained a lot of weight too i know i have to lose it my gp said i need to.

I know it’s scary to leave, but you have already wasted far too much of your life on this abuser. You can get out now, or you can continue to live with the abuse. He is not going to change.

You come across as being very vulnerable OP
Please take note of the previous posters advice. You need to get out of this relationship

Im not stupid i know he wont change.

I know i must leave but i have big worries.

I promise I was not suggesting you are stupid. When you’ve been in a situation for a long time it can be difficult to see things clearly. You don’t have to leave him right now, it’s really difficult to just go. But make the decision and start putting a plan together. Have you got anyone in real life who could support you?

It might help to list your worries and then try to address them one at a time.