In Laws talk about themselves so much I'm sick of it

[Heyitshal]

Hi all, title is exactly what the issue is. I'm not sure if this is normal for families to do as mine doesn't do this every time, but my sibling in laws always talk about themselves, they'll talk about each others same childhood story a million times, all about this family member that family member, 'oh you know Uncle X he did this and this and this' and it'll be the same story every single time, and they all react like they've never heard it before. I find it so tedious to witness and they talk over each other so much to the point that if they don't get a word in between siblings they'll tell their part of the story or addition directed to me... I have no emotion I don't care I've heard it before.

i just had to leave a gathering early as I sat there so bored as I couldn't stand this same conversation again and again. I think the reason why they do it is because they only have their past memories to talk about, they don't socialise outside the house together so they don't create new memories so they just cling to the past.

I feel like avoiding them altogether now, I can't tolerate these same stories and hysterical reactions every time it's insane to me. They're such lovely people in general but this is just driving me insane.

Am I overreacting and this is normal?

If their world is very small, they'll have nothing else. Unfortunately it is normal. It could be worse and they want to talk about some rubbish reality tv show.

I'm just going to have to try tolerate it and maybe cut my visits shorts then. And yeah you're right it could be worse. Thanks for the advice!

I think it’s normal. All groups with a shared history tend to talk about that shared history a lot. It’s not just families. You see it with old school friends, university friends, work colleagues etc. There’s pleasure in revisiting the old anecdotes.

Tedious for the interlopers, absolutely. It’s OK to not always go along with your spouse.

Yeah that's true, very boring for interlopers so yeah I'm not going to be going all the time with my spouse from now on, I get so irritated afterwards so definitely for the best. Thanks!

I have a very good friend, who I spend a lot of time with during certain parts of the year. I could tell his stories as well as he can, even though I wasn't actually there for any of them! I have heard them so many times!!
With your family, could you just cut them off by saying something like "yes, you've told me this before."?

Find some questions to ask them to get them to elaborate on their stories, or to get them moving through them to something you haven't heard before? And think about why those stories mean something to them? Is it because they're proud of Uncle X, or that what he did illustrates something that's important in the way they see themselves, or what? See if you can get behind the repetition to what the significance is, and you might be able to open up some more avenues for conversation. If they want you to understand the things that are important and formative for them, that's good, isn't it? They want you to be able to share in what they think makes their family....

Why can’t you take control of the situation and lead them in a new direction by asking questions or mentioning something related.

It sounds like you’re just sitting there looking glum or stuck up and then moaning about it afterwards.

Next time you hear that Auntie Joan’s wig flew off crossing the road, cut in and say, ‘Didn’t she live in X town, I’ve never been there, what’s it like?’

Take action and take an interest in them.

Can be normal if family live a distance from each other and meet infrequently.

My husbands lovely siblings are the same.
They talk old mutual friends, neighbours, relatives and old happy memories.

As its an annual thing I don't mind.
If it was far more regular I wouldn't be attending.
I would leave early or send him on his own.