Do you look at your vulva in the mirror?

[ThatNimblePeer]

Apologies in advance for TMI:

Early 40s and have only recently started doing this. My orgasms have become so crap and from googling I wonder if it’s that my clitoris is shrinking (yes, apparently this can happen). I can’t actually see anything that is obviously a clitoris in the mirror, but since I wasn’t looking back when my orgasms were good I don’t know whether that’s a change or not - perhaps it’s just never been particularly obviously visible? Been having a search on mumsnet to see what advice exists from previous threads, and there are several from posters who state with complete confidence that their clitoris has shrunk, so presumably they’re used to looking at themselves in the mirror, otherwise I can’t really see how you’d know for sure that crap orgasms were due to that? Am I a weirdo for now having looked at my vulva in a mirror till recently? Is this something most women do?

YABU - it’s normal to look in the mirror
YANBU - I never have either

More likely your pelvic floor is weakening with age. Causes weak orgasms. Do you do your kegels?

You can’t know if your clitoris has shrunk from looking in the mirror - a lot of it is inside your body.

I wouldn’t waste time looking to be honest. It’s bound to look different to when you were younger. I haven’t looked at mine in many years…! Just get some estriol cream and use it consistently internally and externally. It makes a huge difference to vaginal atropy and thinning of the vaginal tissues.

Thanks for the replies. No I’m not very good about being regular with pelvic floor exercises, I know I should do them and in the past it has helped when I do. Previous threads also seemed to recommend B vitamins. But I do also worry that it’s just shrinking, it’s a bit unnerving to look in the mirror and see nothing.

Your clit isn’t going to shrink away into nothing, don’t be ridiculous. Suggest you go to see your nurse for advice instead of looking at threads from MN for information, you honestly don’t know who they are or if they are even women.

Get yourself some topical oestrogen is my advice.

Yes, your clitoris can, and does shrink due to lack of estrogen.

Make an appointment to see your GP and have a chat to see if HRT cream would be a good starting point.

Not everyone's on FB I know but if you are there's a few good forums that have ladies in the same situation as yourself and lots of useful information.

Yes, this does happen. Early 40s seems a bit early, though I have zero knowledge of the degrees of variance among women. In the elderly, clitoral atrophy can cause nasty pain issues - which are incorrectly diagnosed as nobody thinks about an old woman's clitoris!

To head off the hormonal atrophy, use Ovestin cream both in the vagina (the applicator pushes the cream up to the cervix) and then spread some more over the perineum and inside the labia, going up to the clitoris.

Ironically, orgasms also help your clit to stay healthy.

Orgasms are definitely improved by a strong & flexible pelvic floor. We should all be doing Kegels all day, every day (no, I don't either) and most of us could do with a better technique. The one thing that made a huge difference for me, though, was a twice weekly floor Pilates class. For all I know, it might be even better to do Reformer but it's so expensive!

There are pelvic floor training gadgets. No experience to share, but I think I saw a Mumsnet review of them recently.

Not meaning to trivialise your thread OP but your thread title just put me in mind of the brilliant scene in Fried Green Tomatoes - one of my favourite films. Which actually, when I first saw it, was a real reassurance that I was normal, having been brought up to feel curiosity about your own body was not a natural thing.

Your clitoris unfortunately can shrink along with your inner labia, sometimes to virtually nothing, and it can affect orgasms. I am having this issue which I’ve discussed with my GP and have had more topical oestrogen added as a result and have been referred to gynae. It’s not made up! I currently can’t orgasm at all. It’s incredibly distressing.

No why on earth for? It would show nothing

She’s not being ridiculous although it might be hard to see in a mirror, it’s a known symptom of peri-menopause. Best not to call people stupid unless you have the facts.

I said don’t be ridiculous, didn’t call her stupid. So suggest you read before commenting in future otherwise you mags yourself look stupid. The op never mentioned anything about menopause so that’s you assuming.

What? You think there's nothing down there??

I have looked at it on occasion to check there are no growths or new abnormalities, I think everyone should do that. Cancers can grow anywhere.

Actually It can shrink and it can cause problems with having orgasms amongst other things
lack of estrogen is the main culprit but also peri menopause can cause this along with constant utis and external thrust like symptoms without the discharge

the lack of estrogen can mimic cystitis type uti but it won’t show as cystitis if you test

OP I would look in topical estrogen cream but if your sensitive to SLS check the ingredients as ids often used as a compound filler and can cause severe itching & soreness

there’s also a really informative FB page that had lid of ladies and their shrinking clits 😂
It’s called vagina atrophy or something similar but it’s got really good informative intimation
also look up Dr Louise Newson she is a menopause specialist and had written some really good stuff on a shrinking clit

Yes because I have lichen sclerosis and it can cause things to shrink

Goodness, yes it’s definitely me here 😆

Lichen sclerosis is such a bugger, I’m sorry you have to struggle with that.

@FlexiLime

thanks , luckily I don't suffer too
much with it , but I'm 40 now so that could change

I don't look at it in a mirror but I know what it feels like iykwim. 😉

I'd notice a change by feeling it more than looking at it. (No change btw)

Please see your GP asap for HRT and estrogen cream.

Your labia and clitoris will shrink. Saw an IG post about it, was news to me. Got myself on HRT following that.

A few years ago I was put into menopause by solace’s and within 2-3 months I lost ask the padding on my clitoris. I started on oestrigel (?) and it really helped to stop anything going worse but it still feels a bit like an electric shock if there is too much pressure. Defo worth going to the gp, atrophy can’t really be undone.

Seems you need some anatomy lessons: The vast majority of the clitoris is inside your body - you can't see it. And not being able to see much of it on the outside of your body is entirely normal, especially when someone isn't aroused!
If you're really concerned then go see your GP or whichever person at your practice deals with sexual health issues.

If you haven't been doing pelvic floor exercises then that likely gives you the answer you need. You're also approaching the age whereby hormonal changes happen - that will have far more to do with sex drive and abilities in that area than the actual "size" of your clitoris.

@Caligirl80
Seems you need some anatomy lessons: The vast majority of the clitoris is inside your body - you can't see it

What a strangely patronising and aggressive reply. Are you like this in real life?

I’m well aware of this, thanks. I’m comparing what I see in the mirror with diagrams of ‘normal’ vulvas (obviously there will always be variation), and had you actually read my post rather than galloping to display your non-existent superiority, you would have noticed that what I’m saying is that I can’t really see anything at all where the clitoris would supposedly be.

I’m not going to bother recapping the rest of my post, it’s there if you want to read it.

Many thanks for the other, helpful, replies above - reading with interest.