I am a fairly newish grandparent. Well, she's almost 1yr old but at my age that's a pretty recent development.
I read on here so often about grandparents providing childcare while the parents work. Some profess they love to do it. Others say they find it hard going.
Some say it's easier than they expected and others find it a lot harder.
But they keep on doing it because they promised and feel obliged.
My issue is with some working parents' assumption and assertion that if you don't choose to provide an actual rota of childcare for your grandchildren and look after them whilst their parents work, then there is no chance of having any close loving relationship with them. No committed childcare then you're pretty much an uninvolved grandparent and you'll have no close relationship to speak of.
If you say on here that you don't want to do 'childcare' for your grandchildren, then it's mooted that you are cutting off and cutting out any sort of relationship at all. You are pretty worthless really, in terms of a loving relationship. You don't love them enough to take the reins while Mum and Dad go to work.
'Don't want to look after my kids?, I won't look after you when you're old'
seems to be the occasional response.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that doing regular 'childcare' is not an indicator of a close relationship with your grandchild/parent. My daughter works and my gc goes to nursery. I have never looked after my gc while my daughter worked. It was never discussed. It was never an expectation.
I do see my grandchild almost every other day. I take her out for walks, I feed her sometimes, change her nappy often. Read with her, try to make her chuckle.
She knows me as part of her close family. She's comfortable enough to fall asleep in my arms. And all of this time her parents can be free roaming:)
But according to some posts, from some posters, the fact that I absolutely cannot commit to a regular rota of childcare means that I can't possibly have
a close and cuddlesome relationship with my granddaughter.
I can, and I do. She's always delighted to see me, which is often. Her Mum and Dad get to go out for a couple of hours in the evening (Occasionally if the wind is blowing in the right direction)
My dd insisted that she would not call on us for childcare while she worked.
I think that was a good decision. Any time we spend with our delightful gd is by our own choice.
What really triggered my post is the loads of parents who say that if grandparents are not keen on doing regular childcare then it means that the grandparents don't want a close relationship with their grandchildren.
That's so not true. How many times do you read on here about advice a granny has given. With the really uninspired response from some posters.
Ignore her. She's had her turn. Now it's yours.
Well now it is your turn. and she has had her turn. And most likely she did it unaided. And now it's your turn so suck it up like she had to.