I’ll try to keep this brief. I was badly bullied at secondary school, which fucked me up a lot. DM knows this. She knows who the bullies were. Last year she whatsapped me a message about one of them being given an award, with a newspaper clipping including a picture of the bully. I messaged back asking why the fuck she was sending me this. She gave me a vague response that was basically that the bullying was a long time ago, and she thought I’d be interested to know about someone I went to school with.
In my late teens, I cut off a friend who had repeatedly expressed homophobic views (I’m bi although she wasn’t aware of that). DM knows that I ended the friendship although not why. She recently ran into the ex-friend and apparently had a yak with her, and told me about it, seeming to think I’d be pleased to hear that. From what she said it’s clear she yakked on about my life and told ex-friend I’d been struggling with various things, which no doubt ex-friend will have been delighted about. I actually want to vomit when I think about it, I haven’t forgiven ex-friend and she’s the last person I want being told anything about my life.
AIBU to wonder what the hell is wrong with DM? She doesn’t seem to be able to connect her brain beyond ‘oh, there’s someone I used to know’. I’ve racked my brains to try to think how to get through to her how this is making me feel, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. There’s a former colleague of hers she really disliked at work because she found him patronising, I assume she’d hate if I ran into him and started yakking away to him about her private life. When I tell her how I feel she reacts as if I’m difficult and the problem. I’m not out to her partly because I don’t trust her not to yak about it to anyone and everyone she meets. So hurt by this honestly.