To be happy to have left my husband?

[Troubleinparadise2025]

I left my husband ... and I actually feel giddy with excitement about my life now? He was abusive, he'd lock me in the house, keep money from me, damage my car so I couldn't work, bully our children, spend my inheritance on gambling, bankrupt us ... endless list of stupidity.

Myself and children are so happy to be out!!

My parents. and my older (60'ish) family tell me to go back. I'm shameful, me leaving my husband is not in Jesus's teaching's blah blah blah. (Where is emotional and financial abuse in these 'teaching's?')

Am I unreasonable to be overjoyed with leaving my abusive husband?

Congratulations @Troubleinparadise2025 !!!

You're very brave - and you need to be your own cheerleader!

Don't listen to your family, in fact it may well be a good idea to have some distance from your unsupportive family x

Go YOU!

Definitely not unreasonable! You've done a brave thing - enjoy.

You are brave. You are strong. Keep going, never look back

Your family sound horrific. You might want to distance from them too.

Well done. I'm so happy gor you, I've been there too. It was great to get out.
Your family are disgusting...they don't care that you and your children are being abused. Bloody hell.

And do they consider his abuse of you also shameful given that "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

I'm not religious, i actually saw a reel recently from an ex-evangelical cult member about this explaining how often the bible is misused and how people happily forget the parts where men are supposed to actually treat their wives well, not just the wives obey/revere their husbands.

Your family sound awful, well done on escaping your husband!

You're brilliant, op.
Absolutely do NOT go back!
And as pp said, yes distance yourself from anyone in your life who thinks it is ok to abuse you or anyone else!

Get the champagne open OP!
The future is now bright! It's definitely exciting, enjoy it with your DC.

Well done OP for doing what's best for you & your kids. I too, have parents who encouraged me to stay with my abusive DH. I know what it's like to have zero support. I'm envious of you. Enjoy your new life. You deserve it. Never forget that.

Anyone who tries to shame someone into going back to an abuser is as bad as them in my view! You're so brave and strong OP. Live your best life.

This is not in the least bit unreasonable, you’re brilliant and deserve to feel happy and free forever.
You might want to consider also leaving your family too, they sound rather idiotic imo.

Congratulations! Sounds amazing!

God can judge you perfectly well if He deems it necessary. Its arrogant to speak on behalf of God, or judge in His name.

Jesus doesnt say abuse your wife, or stay where you're in danger. He says love each other as I have love you. Your ex didn't do that and those relatives aren't showing that.

Keep going!

Congratulations on getting out! Your family are horrible. I suggest limiting contact with them if they continue like this.

What bollocks religious is this?

Well done you! Especially getting your dc away from him. They’ll thank you when they’re older.

Enjoy your life 💐

Well done! I remember being on a bit of a high; write how you’re feeling now down and all the reasons your glad you left. If you have a bit of a low point look back and remind yourself of it

Well done! I was a shadow of my former self, creeping around in fear, then I left the abusive marriage and my old self was still there after all. I was happy and relaxed and funny and energetic.

My DM said I'd made my bed etc and that I should go back and get on with it. "But I was so unhappy"
"I know, but still, you should do the right thing and go back." My relationship with dm was never the same again.

Wishing you all the luck in the world OP

Who on earth has voted YABU ??

Congratulations @Troubleinparadise2025, you and your dc must be over the moon and you all deserve a happy life without abuse x

No they don't consider that.

Why do people post this stuff? If it’s true, you KNOW you’re not unreasonable.

Tell them all to fuck right off and then go and enjoy your new found freedom! Don't spend time with any arseholes who try and make you feel bad. Well done you! 💐

so your family is abusive too.

Maybe because they feel so proud that they finally got out, and that want to share that with people and lap up a bit of recognition for the incredible thing they’ve done.

Your parents didn’t have to live with your ex, they don’t care how bad it was for you or your DC, or have your best interests at heart. They may of wanted to separate years ago but didn’t have the courage to, or they are afraid of what their circle of friends might think. Either way, they are not supportive, you are doing what’s is best for you and your DC and I’d just accept that, not everyone will want to see you happy.

I’m afraid the happiest day of my life was the day a week after I left my first husband. To be able to have a day making my own decisions with no rows, no silent treatment, no noisy TV I didn’t want, only having the food I wanted. All the more the case for you as you were suffering actual violence in your own home!

’Im sorry you feel that way when I was being physically and mentally hurt by someone who was supposed to cherish me’ perhaps.