I'm doing my best. She's doing her best. I think there really should be some kind of service to tailor teenage advice 😆 #lighthearted.
In the last week we've had:
- An unexpectedly low yr9 end of year exam result. Which was initially brushed off and spoken calmly about but is now A Big Deal. She's a top-set-top-grades without really trying kinda student. Talks about how it doesn't matter/highlights areas to improve/doing your best is important but grades are not everything, have been only partially successful.
- A change of timetable in her main extra curricular activity, meaning more time commitment. Or less, but that means dropping stuff she doesn't want to drop but also doesn't want to do. 🤷♀️
- A crisis of confidence/botheredness in EC #2 at a fairly crucial point. I told her it was fine to drop it if she wanted. She's not sure. So I suggested sticking it out until the summer holidays when all other pressures are reduced so she can make a more informed decision. Yeah but no but yeah but. Tears.
- Chats about maybe working together to structure her time more from now on to allow for ECs and school work but also defined downtime where she knows she won't have to 'do' anything - scepticism and tears.
- Birthday treat for her and her friends. Many options given and given time to think about it... No conclusion after 2 wks. Planned a short 2-3hr Fathers Day trip for tomorrow - disappointed look. "Did you want to do anything with your friends?". "No" - continues looking sad.
Someone tell me where I am going wrong or who can advise me in how to advise her!?!!
Me and DH had very different upbringings to each other and she is having yet another different upbringing to us both. We want to give her the world, but I know at 14 "The World" is too scary a prospect, I think loving parents is more important than any grade. But does she has many opportunities I didn't have. So it's hard to judge sometimes
Anyway, I'm sure this won't be a unique scenario! Trying to find the line between "laid back" and "encouragement" is hard for a high achieving kid like this.
Of anyone wants to point out any of my glaring inadequacies I'm willing to learn! And solidarity and we try our best is welcome too.