To wish i’d known when younger the importance of going into a career with money

[Watermelonlollies]

I don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I’m a teacher and used to have an okay lifestyle, got by happily and could have holidays and a few treats here and there.
Life isn’t like that now, as i’m sure it isn’t for many.

I’m not materialistic in any way, but as I’ve got older it’s really dawned on me the importance having money makes and I wish i’d gone down a different path

Does anyone feel the same and do/will any of you be expressing this to your kids?

My DD at age 9, is very set on her career plans and won't be swayed. She's going to work in an animal rescue centre and then, to make some extra money, as a side hustle she's going to be a dentist.

In theory it isn't, but in practice it is. That's just a fact

I totally agree and don’t think it’s your “personal responsibility” to understand how the world works when you’re 16/17 and setting your aspirations! I didn’t really grasp the idea that different career paths would have such varying remuneration apart from vague ideas that bankers and lawyers were rich (which also turned out to be wrong anyway and I should have gone into STEM!). Will definitely help my children to be more aware of the world, the economy, how their talents might be applied to their advantage. But I don’t blame my parents, they didn’t have any idea either!

You make a good point here. If my parents had been middle class with the careers and large house, my life now would feel like a downgrade because I can only afford a one bed flat in zone 4 (yes, I could leave London but I don’t want to).

But since my parents were poor and working class and we never went abroad, I feel like I’m doing great. My flat might be small but I have so much more in the way of disposable income, experiences, travel, job satisfaction etc than they could ever have dreamed of.

I work in social care. I don’t think I could ever claim to have thought it would be lucrative and nor would I have said that about teaching, which I also considered. Vocational work isn’t it? You must have known that when you chose to do it surely?

Hell yeah agree - I'm a social worker

DS is currently at uni studying a very niche course. It’s not a well paid industry if he chooses to use his degree. He has also been offered a job in a totally unrated field, when he graduates, which after a year of training he could be earning up to £70k a year.

He wanted to do the uni experience, I wanted him to as well. I think it takes them out of their comfort zone, teaches them that there is more to life than their familiar home environment and gives them the confidence to take on challenges.

Already DS no longer expects to be fed and taxied every where. He has struggled budgeting but has learned valuable lessons as a result.

He has the confidence to interact with new people and has a bigger network of friends as a result.

Ultimately I would like him to have a job that he enjoys. He’s currently labouring for the summer. They pay well and he is learning a lot of new skills. They work as a small team clearing out a job before the trades come in to do a refit. It’s dirty, physical work but he often di s 12hrs+ a day. They are given a set amount and a deadline so it is in their best interests to finish ahead of time. It means that the trades can often start ahead of time and the whole project does not get penalised for an overrun.
The company belongs to his mate’s dad who is basically encouraging his DS to build up the necessary skills to take over when he retires. But he has also seen the potential in DS and the other friends who work with him.

It may be necessary for DS to do an apprenticeship in one of the trades but he is actually quite keen.

I thinks it’s a real shame that we have to make huge life choices at 16/17 with no real life experience. DS was never going to follow me into my profession, there’s no way I would have let him, but I’d like him to experience a lot more before he decides. In your twenties you should be flexible in your ambition in order to take opportunities when they present.

Money aside, do you like your job, do you enjoy being a teacher?
If so stick with it, if not leave and re-train.

I will be honest, when I was at school teachers always had a nice, middle class life. At my school they drove nice cars, the women had lovely clothes and they lived in the nicer (not nicest) part of our town.

i know understand most of them had husbands who vastly out earned them. But at the time I believed teaching was quite well paid. I didn’t understand salary levels until university, and probably beyond that if I am honest.

I think you are spectacularly missing the point that the pyramids in the magic circle/accountancy/management consultant firms are very steep. Most don't make partner and earn in excess of £500k. Most, including women peel off in their early mid 30s when they realise they won't crack it/can't manage the work/life balance. They go in-house or to regional law firms where some may exceed £100/£150k but most top put at about £80k, many on far less.

The high, high earnings aren't generally across 40 year careers as they can be in teaching.

As I have said both of our DC have chosen careers in education because they don't want the work/life balance their father had. Even he switched trajectory in his early/mid 50s to something related but far less well paid.

MIL complained every single day of her life as a teacher. About the children, the parents, the very hard work. She also complained every single day about cooking and keeping house, about how poor she was, sniggered a bit about the ignorant flopping and dropping in Benidorm, complained about people like them, people like us, etc., about how she wanted to be an actress but wasn't rich enough. Some people just complain and think the grass is greener elsewhere.

Personally I think every teacher from kindergarten to PhD supervisor would benefit from a fortnight a year on the bins or labouring on a building site. No pension, no sick leave, no paid annual leave, just sheer bloody hard work and having to do as they are told.

That is spectacularly clever! I’m genuinely in awe of people who can scan the external environment and just see opportunities in this way. I wonder what sorts of opportunities people are coming up with around stuff like AI?

My parents really championed my education and encouraged me to have a career. I got all As and Bs at GCSE and A level. Got a science degree from a red brick university. Graduated at the height of the recession, and couldn't get a job for love or money (no-one could). The few positions in the field I'd studied in, wanted you to "intern", ie work for free. Long story short, I now have a very average office job and earn £35k pro-rata. My OH is also a teacher, but bounces around on maternity cover and so still has to scrap around looking for work in the summer holidays (working in a warehouse this time). We also have absolutely naff all money OP. But the point is, I think a lot of it is down to luck tbh, or being rich enough to be able to be an intern. Or maybe some other magical ingredient I still don't know about! Even if a person's parents do everything "right". The reduction in quality of life generally is a kicker though OP, you're not unreasonable to be pissed off about it.

It’s mostly contacts these days too. My dc has struggled to get any kind of summer placement this year whereas his well off friends have connections from their parents and therefore have experience lined up despite being nowhere near as academic as ds. It sucks when they work hard, do all the right things but still can’t get anywhere.

I thought more senior teachers get paid well (the ones in management positions in the schools), is that not an option for you?

I think it’s the same in most careers, you need to work your way up and progress to get the better salaries

Totally the same. I had no idea that some people chose jobs for money. I was only ever told that I had to choose a career that I was passionate about. But I didn’t really have a massive passion, so wasn’t sure what I was looking for in a career. I ended up with the vague idea of helping people. That meant I did a lot of minimum wage jobs that had no career progression and I hardly earned any money.

I’ve already told my kids that they can choose jobs that they like but that they need a job which pays enough to give them a nice life.

I’ve also told them that they don’t have to choose straight away. It was drummed into me from primary school to choose my passion. Which meant that after uni I totally floundered and felt bad because I didn’t know what this was. How could I go through all that education and still not know what my passion was?! The idea that someone could have a job for the money was totally unfamiliar to me. It’s kind of like the passion was most important and the money was sort of a happy bi-product of this.

I think the importance of saving, how lots of small amounts being spent adds up, and needs vs wants is more important.
Generally if someone doesn't have good money management it doesn't matter what wage they are on, they will waste it.

They other thing I would add for lower middle parents (mine at least) is that while they didn’t have much advice on choosing and securing a high earning career, they were very clear that anything vocational was way beneath us 🙄. Ironic now to hear the plumbers, electricians, builders etc are rolling in it.

I agree. I grew up in the 90s and I remember it being very frowned upon to focus on wealth - we were always encouraged to do something "meaningful" or something we were "passionate" about, and it was the same message from home and school.

It was always implied that the pursuit of money would lead to alcohol, drugs and mental breakdown. An "honest day's work" and taking pride in your work (not rushing or cutting corners) were greatly valued.

I'm also a teacher now, and I'm struggling. I do still love huge of parts of the job, but increasingly I find myself thinking "I don't get paid enough to deal with all this extra outside the classroom". It feels like I'm working in that very stressful way we were warned about, but I'm not even getting paid the big bucks!

@ForZanyAquaVieweryes 2 reasons tbh. Firstly I never loved chemistry and was really never any good at it. Physics, maths and biology all good and got good grades, but back then you absolutely had to have an A at chemistry a’level to study medicine. Secondly my neighbours were Drs and their 3 children ( all okder than me) went on to study medicine and they never stopped studying ever seriously they worked so hard… and that pretty much told me as much as medicine would have been interstyng you really do need to be very academic to pursue it. I now know that to be true and I’m just not built for that. I enjoy my work/ life balance. In the end it was between nursing and physiotherapy… for me I made the right choice. Physiotherapy would have bored me too quickly

Fair enough. Thanks for answering!

(I'm also somewhat jealous of friends who married not exactly for money, but who only ever considered a life partner from specific financial bracket, but that's a derail...)

What I didn't realise as a teenager/student is that some jobs get easier as you move up the ladder, but some get much harder.

You will find many, many teachers stepping down from senior roles because the job's just unmanageable (it's increasingly difficult for primary schools to find Head Teachers for example). By contrast, I have friends in finance/law, and they have much more flexibility, and generally work shorter hours now in more senior positions than they did when they were at the bottom of the pile.

@DeffoNeedANameChange My mum always told me (somewhat jokingly)

“You can fall in love with a rich one just as easily as a poor one!”

What she never joked about was the need to be able to support myself no matter what. She was one of the rare single mums in the early 80’s and I saw her work her ass off to keep the family house when I was small. She then went on to build a good career. Ironically she did go on to marry a ‘poor’ one as she already had a well paid career it worked out in the end.

It's not unreasonable to wish you earned more. Personally I value job satisfaction far more than being well off though. Do I wish I had more money? Of course, who doesn't? Do I regret going in to teaching? Absolutely not.

I started my Primary BEd degree at 18, so I've never done anything but teach (apart from part-time retail work as a student). It's an honour to have such an influence and impact on young lives, helping to shape their own future. It's definitely a vocation as, although we're payed enough to get by, nobody is going to make their fortune out of teaching. I have zero regrets though.

I'm sure your parents just wanted you to be happy. Did you always know you wanted to be a teacher? For some people it's a vocation. If it isn't for you, then retrain but right now the job market is incredibly tough so you are best staying in public sector until markets improve.