To wish i’d known when younger the importance of going into a career with money

[Watermelonlollies]

I don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I’m a teacher and used to have an okay lifestyle, got by happily and could have holidays and a few treats here and there.
Life isn’t like that now, as i’m sure it isn’t for many.

I’m not materialistic in any way, but as I’ve got older it’s really dawned on me the importance having money makes and I wish i’d gone down a different path

Does anyone feel the same and do/will any of you be expressing this to your kids?

I went self employed at 35 with one job to do, and I worked after that pretty much flat out for 15 years. I earned a very decent amount, roughly £80k pa in the mid 1990s. It stopped when I got older, quite abruptly, but I had planned for it, and had dumped money into my pension.. However, I still live in hope that I might get another shot because I loved my work. It was never ever a chore.

Agree with this. Actually mine had no idea about careers for women. They genuinely thought girls should leave school, maybe work as a secretary for a bit before getting married and giving up work. I remember my aunt, who is only 15 years older than me, doing exactly that. My mother, her older sister, also did that. So there was no advice, or knowledge, on what else to do. Trouble was, it quickly became impossible to afford to do what they had done but they were unable to help their daughters as they had no clue themselves.

Sounds perfect! What do you do?

What line of work are you in?

Prior to gcse year, I sat m s

Prior to gcse year, I sat my son down with a computer and newspaper.

I shows him prices of houses and flats, showed him adverts for flats for rent. I showed him car sales adverts

I then showed him the job section, salaries, requirements for the jobs.

then discussed how mortgages get calculated, how rent payments/deposits work

I never even got on to utilities, cost of food, utilities etc before he chose accounting as a profession. He already liked maths but also liked media studies.

savings were also stressed to him. Savings for long term (retire) as well as saving in case of hard times/job loss other than saving to buy things, go on holiday.

he's doing very well and recently bought his own home.

I simply don't have the skillset to earn a lot of money. Fortunately, when I left school, low paid jobs still enabled me to run a flat on my own. Got mortgage with husband to be at 21 and carried on. What I lacked in earning ability I made up for by putting the hours in.

Now in our 50s, we have paid the mortgage off, had some amazing adventures BUT...We didn't have children, we were lucky to buy at the right time.

Frankly, I'd be stuffed if I was a youngster now. I haven't the brains for the big money, not the mentality.

A lot of working class kids (often from immigrant backgrounds) in London end up working in financial services. Not always in investment banking but a middle manager in non IB function can earn 100k by mid 30s which is better than a teacher or civil servant though of course it doesn't buy you as much as it used to. But still you will be able to buy a home..

My dh is an example of this, he couldn't even afford bus fare at 11. Lived at home during uni and while at first job..Bought london flat in his 20s.

This is my experience too.
Although dm had heard that the civil service had good pensions so mentioned that sometimes. Didn't resonate with a teenage/twenties young woman!

Presumably you were 21 when you started work as a teacher, not sure it’s your parents fault what you chose as a career (which like most public sector careers involves a money / job security trade off). And quite frankly, there are plenty of careers that pay less, and you may have hated being an accountant, or similar.

It's not something my parents ever talked about with me either, but I suspect that if they did I would have refused to listen. I've never been in a highly paid career, but I've landed on my feet regardless, with a healthy source of passive income and a DH on a more traditional high salary. I've retrained several times in my life taking HE qualifications in different subjects.
There are so many ways to change direction and make money these days outside of a career that it doesn't make sense to blame decisions taken as a teenager. Certainly I was on a very different path when I was 20 (on benefits in a council house) compared to how I've ended up now in my mid 40s (4 bed mortgaged house, 2 dcs in private school).

This is quite an interesting thread, and I guess it comes down to what standard of living you’re looking for.
My parents were both from working class backgrounds; Mum went into teaching and Dad the police force. We had a fairly comfortable upbringing, annual holidays abroad, fairly large detached home, new cars etc.. I do agree that those careers and salaries would not provide the same standard of living today. I was pushed into higher education by my Mum, qualifications were the only thing considered to be of importance so, I did a history degree that I have to say, I really regret. The importance of having a degree is all that my parents focused on, nothing beyond that. I ended up working in hospitality and met my DH, a chef. We have both risen to the top in our respective careers and have a combined income of 130k, which, realistically is higher than most but, not exactly classed as high earners. However, we now have a DS, 3, I had a choice of chasing the money or take a 40k pay cut and finally have weekends and evenings off. I’ve opted for the pay cut, DS is only young once and I want to present in his life. We still earn more than my DPs did and yet, our lifestyle is significantly lower than theirs. I do wish my parents had emphasised careers over education; I think my career path would look very different however, the earning potential vs lifestyle is so different to when they were at the same stage in life than I genuinely don’t think they knew any different. We don’t need a big house and flashy cars, being able to pay the bills and still have the occasional holiday is enough for me at this stage. No idea how we’ll ever retire mind as our pensions are abysmal!

The poster with the investment banker DH obviously knows of which she speaks. You get the big bucks, your employer gets you.
(For all the hours god sends, as and when they like, with spouse and family firmly in second place, or worse.)
The only people who don’t get owned are the ones who work for themselves.

Errrrr it's basic common sense to realise that money = more choices in life!!! No doubt if your parents had "stressed" the importance of financially superb jobs you'd now be whining that they "pushed you" to doing a career that you don't like that has now burned your out, and that they were capitalist dullards.

It's YOUR decision what you do for a living - not theirs. My parents never pushed me to doing anything except what made me happy. Same with my sisters. We all have very very different careers and life stories.

You're assuming that even if your parents had "stressed" something to you that you would have listened to them.

Grow up. If you don't want to be a teacher then do something else, but blaming your parents is BS.

Oh, the people who are self-employed are still "owned" - they still have to make a living and do what they are told by clients.

I was an international trial litigator - hard core cases, worked in NY, London, Zurich etc etc. The Firm never "owned" me - I was free to leave whenever I wanted. The only people who whined about feeling they had to be there were the ones who had massive student loans (their fault) or had developed a lifestyle that meant they were dependant on the big paycheck (again, their fault - no one is forcing you to get a penthouse apartment, or have a brand new Aston Martin, or have michelin star dinners every week! Are those things nice?? Absolutely - and I'm very fortunate I got to experience them all. But I never fell for the trap of falling for that lifestyle. Which meant I got to retire before the age of 40. And I do what I like now. And if I decide to I can always start practicing again. And that kind of career opens the doors to loads of other things. Point being: I know plenty of self-employed people who are utterly miserable and really don't have that many open doors to doing anything else.

What's stopping you just doing that job again?? If you want to then do it...

@Caligirl80 I stepped off the treadmill. Partly age related and partly distance. It would be impossible to get back on at almost 70.

This makes very little sense: in 2008 the internet had been around for ages and there was plenty of opportunity for you to think about what career or job you wanted, and to figure out what the earnings were for those jobs...the notion that you didn't have that information easily to hand just makes no sense.

The better explanation is that you just didn't put the work in - because you weren't motivated to do so - into figuring out a career path. Which is true of many people, but that really is on you. Especially these days when there is so much opportunity and information out there that is entirely accessible for people no matter what background you come from.

My parents didn't give me any money, I paid for all my education etc myself, and figured out a career that was well paid and that I enjoyed. There were a few stutter steps along the way, but that's how life works: you learn what you like and you go for it!!! Sadly there are people out there who just go with the flow and expect life to "happen" for them...they don't want to put themselves out there or try stuff or take risks or put in the effort required. I don't know if you're part of that crew, but if you're complaining about not knowing what careers made money that's really rather daft.

I am glad I didn't listen to my parent's suggestions for my degree or career. In my early 20s they divorced and cut off all support, so I had to earn a lot more than my peers whose parents were still supporting them. I'm not sure how I would have survived if I'd taken the route my family wanted me to.

My job allows me to live in my lovely house. We need to stop shaming people for being motivated by money when choosing a career. To me money = freedom. Young people need to be able to make an informed choice.

Gotcha - that makes sense in terms of distance. Though you don't know til you try...stranger things have happened...

Yup - there is a certain benefit to having no one do anything for you - you have to figure it all out yourself and earn what you want to earn to live how you want to live. My parents told me not to do what I was doing to follow my dreams - they said it was impossible. Well, it turns out that it wasn't impossible - I did it, I made it happen, and I'm glad I didn't listen to them. It's pretty awesome - like you I get to live in my house that I earned 100% myself. I am not beholden to anyone, and that's great.

When I was 45, my agent was being asked for younger talent! My work was wonderful, stimulating and endlessly enthralling, and I was very good at it, but eventually I was older than everyone I worked with, and no one wants to work with grandma!

People always claim that teachers say they work harder and longer than everyone else, but I don't think that's true at all. Teachers complain about their job. There's plenty to complain about. Doing a shitload of unpaid overtime (but still being made to feel you're not doing enough) is part of it. Constantly having other people claim you're paid for all your holiday is also very wearing.

'These things about my job are hard and really shit' does not equal 'Nobody else has a job as hard as mine'. Some people just need to improve their reading comprehension.

I’ll get flamed for this.

I agree that career choice is incredibly important. However, what I wish I’d fully understood when younger is that, if you choose to get married, the financial circumstances of your partner will have just a significant (if not more significant) bearing on your lifestyle as your career choice.

In other words, marrying someone from an affluent background can make life a hell of a lot easier - and it’s important to consider earning potential and ambition into account when choosing a partner.