ExDP paying less maintenance

[throweay]

The last two months he has paid £100 less than agreed, then the month before it was £50 less.

I’m really nervous to say anything, because I know he will just see me as a money grabber and a ‘bitch’. He has form for being useless.

Has DS aged six 1-2 nights per week.

How can I get across that I need this money to be able to provide for DS?

AIBU to even expect more? He is meant to send £300 a month, I’m not sure if this is a lot in terms of CM?

Use the CMS?

No, just agreed between us.

Do you know how much he earns? Go on the CMS calculator and it will tell you.

In all honesty, money is such a stressful topic anyway and especially when you add in coparenting.

If you have a good relationship I would either send him the cms calculation, or ask him to do it. Tell him that politely that you need to budget so changing the amount each month isn't going to work for your child. That if it easier and causes less conflict then it might be best that cms do the calculation for what is to be paid, and they reassess it every March, and then dad just directly pays you. This way you two never have to.discuss money moving forward which may benefit your coparenting relationship.

If the relationship isn't good, then just go to cms. Let them deal with it, he knows what the agreement is and he is pushing boundaries and seeing when/if you will.react or if he can get away with it.

He may ask for more time with your child to lower the payments if he doesn't like what he is paying. Or he may be paying more than cms would expect so payments could end up reduced. Something to consider.

Maybe start using them, it will be another £100 less and so forth then nothing.

I would message and ask if there's a reason he's sending less then what was agreed. If it's a genuine error (probably not) then I'd be saying if next month isn't the correct amount then you'll be getting CMS involved. And stick to your word. This money is for your child. Fight for what they're entitled to

Just go to CMS.

Thank you. I don’t think he has one employer, but says he does different ‘jobs’. It’s all the same profession. I’m worried he will lie to CMS?

Nobody can tell you based on the info you have given whether you’re unreasonable to expect more, you need to just go via CMS.

If he’s on £25k a year & having DC 1-2 nights a week then £300 is more than CMS would make him pay so you would be unreasonable to expect more. If he’s on £80k a year & having DC 1-2 nights a week then £300 is less then CMS would make him pay so you’d not be unreasonable to expect more. Go via CMS, let them work out who owes what.

Check first that he's paying less than the CMS calculator.
Plus with your latest update, CMS are notoriously bad at pursuing parents with irregular income and not declaring it all.
Does his income always go on a payroll and through HMRC?

Very good chance he may lie, self employed and being paid by several companies makes it harder for cms to track efficiently. My ex tried to lie about how often he had the kids, despite a court order. But if he is using the money as a way to control the situation I'd rather go to cms and get a steady/reliable £50 where you don't have to keep asking him, than him playing games every month.

If he’s self employed then honestly, good luck getting much of anything via CMS.

That’s what I’m worried about, that he will lie.