ADHD - what strategies worked for your kids?

[DameVeraLynn]

5 year old DS has clear ADHD traits. He’s not too bad at home but struggles at school with hyperactivity and getting bored easily.

We are speaking to school about giving him frequent movement breaks and lots of outdoor exercise.

Posting in AIBU as I’m clueless as to how to help him. What sort of measures have worked for you? How have you changed strategies as your kids have gotten older?

Thank you

6 year old, not officially diagnosed yet. Has a fidget squishy thing for assembly, has a wobble.cushion for carpet time or on his seat, we talked about push ups on the wall in the corridor as a time out but he hasn't used it. At home I am starting to cut up homework as he finds one question at a time more manageable than a whole sheet. I set a timer of 15mins for reading, if he needs a wiggle break we stop the timer and then he gets a star at the end of the 15mins. 5 stars gets a reward. I find it best to do school work as soon as we get it, tried having a break first but it doesn't work for my son. He had 3 or 4 exercise classes a week which really help him after school. His school give 3 bits of homework and 3 reading books in yr1, we only do one thing a day at home then free play. At home.we have the same place for his things to go, I remind him to put them back and now he does it out of habit but trying to build those independence skills. I have little lists with words and pictures for what he needs to do, so in the morning teeth, hair, shoes, waterbottle etc. It means he refers to the list and I just directly the to the list rather than me nagging and he then feels overwhelmed.
Anything he is interested in we really hone in on, currently animals and reading Matilda together one chapter a night at bedtime. So we have a movie night planned for matilda, then I just managed to get tickets for the theatre. We watxh animals shows and go to the zoo or pet shops. Really honing in on what he enjoys and praise, praise, praise as confidence with adhd young people can dip about 5.5/6 due to constant... reminders/nagging etc. I definitely noticed a big dip in confidence with my son after starting school as other kids were focusing and therefore taking more in. My son is very clever, but the lack of focus has impacted his learning and reading especially.

Oh also, keep your talking short. One word and a visual gesture. So for example my son doesn't put his shoes in the box, if I give a whole explanation he will.meltdown. it is too much to handle. If I say, bob, shoes please. Then pause. Then point to the basket it is so much easier for him, a visual prompt. Otherwise overwhelm will set it.
We also put clothes out the night before, int he exact same place near the door, including underwear. He then has to notice them as he walks out and will.often just get dressed now which was a battle before.

SD is 9. School have been brilliant at putting things like movement breaks in place, they also repeat instructions directly to her after addressing the whole class. At home we get her to repeat what we've just said and I'd say about 80% of the time she has either instantly forgot it or misunderstood because she can't focus on what we're saying so by getting her to repeat it we can go through exactly what we mean and she usually then does what we've asked.

My DS7 school is amazing!!! They let him sit on a chair rather than the carpet otherwise he gets really fidgety. He sits at the back (his choice) so he can move if he wants and not distract anyone else. They’ve taught him to learn when his brain “feels fuzzy” and the TA takes him to the playground. He runs for a few mins and then comes back in. He gets distressed waiting in long lines for dinner, so they time it for him that he doesn’t wait long. Half the battle is getting people to be on their side.

These comments are brilliant, thank you. And how encouraging it is to see how schools can work with kids. I’ll have to see how good the school is in implementing things that work for DS and push back if they’re not doing enough.

Following

I have a 14 year old DD with diagnosed inattentive type and an 11 yr old DS with traits.

Tbh there are tonnes of strategies to use, but for me the most important advice is try not to lose your shit too often.

Children with ADHD are incredibly irritating. I will make a pack lunch he is desperate for and tell him to put it in his bag twenty million times, I will get him to repeat the instruction back to me and he will still leave it on the side (often getting shirty because I've told him so many times). She will switch off half way through an instruction and only hear the bit that is important to her. They both lose so so so many things and they are careless and they break things.

But, they don't actually do these things intentionally. So I try and see the funny side and work with them. I try not to shout and shame them, enough people will do that. I help them if I can when they mess up, but if I can't they have to live with the consequences. We talk together about strategies that they think might help. For example I have a WhatsApp chat with DD where she writes anything she is told at school and then I try and help her remember.

I always think if my child was really struggling to learn to walk, I wouldn't get annoyed with them, so why would I if they are really struggling to get organised.

so, my advice, try not to lose your shit ... But when you do (because you will), don't feel too bad. Apologise and move on and try again tomorrow.

Our school do movement break every 15 mins.we have a trampoline and indoor swing at home.we play the bean game any time waiting has to happen.

I have an almost 7 year old ds diagnosed within an hour at 6 years old.
Things get better, we focus on life skills and sensory feedback.
My favourite tip is a clothes divider I brought from ikea. It has 5 compartments and hangs in his wardrobe. I put his uniform in for the week and he independently gets dressed. He likes pocket money so makes his bed once dressed, routine is key for us.
My son can order his own food in a restaurant, ask for help when out and is closing his learning gap. We have fidget toys everywhere, I have loads in my bag when out. He enjoys lego, wobble board and peanut ball. He has combination adhd, but doesn't need stimulation all day. For him, sitting down watching TV helps him regulate after a day at school. No food issues or sleep concerns, early riser so we keep to the same bed time. It's tiring needing to adapt your parenting but totally worth it. We did explore medication but it didn't work for us.