To want another LO just so my DS isn't an only child!!!

[youngbutnotdumb]

My DS will be 2 next month and for some reason have suddenly decided I don't want him to be an only child BUT seem to have a problem on that part because I don't know if I can manage another one because he was a difficult baby and still is. Have confused myself! I wouldn't mind another child but am worried I wouldn't cope. HELP!!!

Bear in mind that second time around you will be more experienced and confident with a baby. I found my anxiety levels were far lower with ds2 than with ds1 and possibly as a result ds2 was a generally more relaxed baby.

If it makes you feel any better I feel bloody terrible when pregnant and hated it - but I didn't want my DD to be an only child either so I am now due in 8 weeks with no 2. I would go for it - you don't have an option but to cope so you'll just get on with it. And they will have each other in the future - of course no guarnatee they will like ach other or get on but they will be there for support when they are older.

Thanks for the advice I guess I'm not the only one then .

Now how do I convince DP who doesn't wnat another LOL.

Then again I think he's the same as me it's just because he was so difficult I think.

Only have another if YOU want one. Don't do it purely to provide a sibling, There is no guarantee siblings will get on after all.

Please just remember that there is no guarantee that they will get on or appreciate the fact that they are siblings.
I would have loved multiple dcs but sadly left it too late.
Am also tainted by the fact that I have thre siblings and whilst I love them all I don't really like any of them(large age gaps)and they certainly didn't add anything to my childhood.

Please don't take offence-just another perspective

i think my initial desire to have a second child was because i didn't want ds to be an only child. I could not quite imagine loving a second child as much when i was pregnant. But now she is here, my love for her is so huge and i love them both equally, obviously. And it does seem easier second time around. So far anyway! we have a three year gap between them which i think can help if you've felt like you've had your hands full with the first.

My brother hated me when I was born (18 months between us) and was horrid to me when we were young but it is great when you are older as you are there for each other and I also think it is a huge responsibilty for 1 person to look after parent's on their own - at least if you have siblings you can share the load of what life throws at you. Of course you never know what life is gonna deal you but I would still go for it.

Whooosh don't worry no offence taken

The other thing I perhaps should mention might gib=ve u a different perspective all of u.

I have twin sisters who r 8 months older than my DS and live nearby with my mum, I have sometimes thought that maybe they would grow up just as close as siblings. I know that sounds weird but I mean because of the age gap

LOL at Rumpels statement thre

So what u r saying is u had another child so u could be looked after better when they ur older .

I like that idea.

just to confuse you with another different view there's nothing to be scared of in having a singleton

We have one ds who will be 6 soon and he LOVES being this way, he couldn't be happier and truly blossoms being the only child

make sure that you are REALISTICALLY thinking about siblings when you make this decision...many two/three year olds find it truly devastating when a sibling arrives and I've seen some threads on here from mums feeling desperate that things are so hard..of course this tends to even out as they get older (and of course some toddlers love their siblings from the start) but I know for some, the early years of having more than one can be hard and fraught

That's why the only reason to have another is for YOU not your child

As others have said there are no guarantees in life in terms of them getting on, supporting each other etc; so do it for you!

Good luck

I was an only child until I was 8 so I don't know what it's like and I don't actually know any singletons TBH. Suppose u have a point there Honoria. Think am just obsessed with buying baby things

unless you're worried about your age, you may do wel to hang on a bit and think some more. lots of siblings i know with a large age gap get on really well. my niece is 9 and her little brother is 5 and they adore each other. a guy i know had a little brother born when he was 18 and now they're great mates.

Hmmm, I think that if that is your only motivation for wanting another child then you could well be making a mistake.

I have a brother and a sister and honestly I'd rather not have them! I have never been close to either or them and now that we are adults I have nothing to do with them other than to see them once a year at Xmas and I send cards/prezzies for their birthdays and their kids b'days etc (and they don't even do that!)

I would have been much happier as an only child but I guess not everyone has toxic siblings!

Hmm I suppose it comes down to personality too - my DD is very loving, sharing and affectionate. My neice on the other hand is not - she is like her Dad - my brother and I think she would resent a sibling for along time. I am positive my DD will love a wee bro or sis though.

There is a great difference between having a baby and a toddler/preschooler to manage, and having your first baby. Both can be hard, but in different ways.

I think a lot of people have child no2 for child no1.

No 2 children are alike. My children are all so different. Don't let that be a reason to not have another child.

Having 2 can be very hard, they bicker, any spare time you think you might have nopw andf then is gone, etc etc, but it's great. And it's wonderful to love a 2nd child as much as you love your first. And when it's good, it's really, really good.

By the time you have another DS will be nearly 3 + and will have changed, maybe?