To cancel my baby shower next week

[harleq]

My lovely Smum has wanted to host a small baby shower for me, nothing huge just some cake and tea really as it’s not overly my sort of thing. I’m 35 weeks pregnant.

A couple of friends have had to drop out due to things cropping up, which is fine. With a toddler myself too I know how life can get in the way. So there will be less than 10 people there. I’m exhausted, uncomfortable and quite frankly can’t be bothered to have to make an effort. I’ve been feeling light headed, v tired and nauseous the past few days and worried I won’t be feeling up to it.

AIBU and ungrateful to want to cancel with a weeks notice

I do understand why you’re reluctant to cancel but cancelling because you are unwell is very different! Focus on your health first and (as you’ve said) see your midwife or, you could even give the maternity assessment unit a call over the weekend. Tired and nauseous are to be expected but being light headed is different. I was exhausted and uncomfortable towards the end of my first pregnancy and, due to this, was honest that I couldn’t be doing with all the games that had previously happened at showers within our friendship group! We had a lovely cuppa and cake and a chat instead and that was just right (and I suspect many guests were relieved too!!)

Who is this Baby Shower supposed to be for?
I'm surprised by the number of posters who think a heavily pregnant woman who is feeling really unwell should force herself to attend an event that is supposed to be for her benefit, just to please other people. If the Mum-to-be is going to be feeling too poorly to properly enjoy it then what on earth is the point?

If one of my pregnant friends cancelled their baby shower because they were feeling unwell it wouldn't occur to me for a second to be annoyed with them, or even disappointed. I would just be hoping they (and baby) were ok.

A week is plenty of notice to cancel a small event like this. We're not talking about cancelling a wedding, it's really not that deep. A week gives people time to make other plans, and it doesn't matter if they've already bought gifts as they can either post them if they want to or drop them round once baby arrives. This is presumably what they would have done if OP wasnt having a baby shower in the first place.

All this!

Cancel. I love it when plans get cancelled and I have a do what I fancy day instead

I'd see what the midwife says, but yeah there's no obligation for it to go ahead x

Exactly. I wonder how many people actually read the OP. She wouldn't be cancelling because she 'doesn't feel like it', she is UNWELL. What is it that posters don't get about that? Why is it women gaslight and guilt other women into doing something when they're NOT WELL?!?? Women are our own worst enemies! FFS we should be supporting each other, not guilting each other to do something when you're about to go into labor and clearly not fucking well!

I knocked this one on the head with all of mine. Not my thing this fad at all.

Nah - nothing wrong with it. It’s your shower so why would anybody care if you cancelled it?