Name assumptions

[Zoono]

It's usually not a big deal but I hate my first name and use a common shortened version. The shortened version is quite a common name in islamic countries for men. I'm a white non religious female and live in England. Recently,I've started to have some men making prior assumptions about me such as taxi drivers etc. Today I had my first driving lesson and the instructor gave me a look of pure disgust after he asked, if I preferred to be called by my shortened name and I agreed that I did. He then called me by my full name for the rest of the lesson. I've been called by shortened name since I was a toddler. Do I need to accept this might be a cultural thing, which I will try to accept or are these men just being rude? I'm not remotely intolerant but I did feel upset today. Aibu to feel this way?

Why would someone be disgusted by your name? I'm not sure I understand.

It's not Ali, is it? For Alison? A friend of mine always turns up to things where it's assumed she was a man.

Is it Mo (Mohammad/Moira)? I’m dying to know

Mine is old fashioned and I should be 97 with white hair and a wool blanket over my knee s and one bar of the fire on for 10 mins just to warm me through a bit

I'm guessing you're either Maureen, Maura or Moira and go by Mo.
My friend is Maureen, always known as Mo, she hasn't mentioned anything like you experience but I'll ask her out of interest.

Neither can I unless someone felt it was offensive for a woman to have that name. It was a bit unsettling.

What assumptions have taxi drivers made about you?

Yes . My full name does trigger trauma from my past, so I avoid using it when I can.

Theyre stunned when I'm not a man. That's not too bad but today wasn't great.

Understandable. You can avoid using your name for whatever reason you wish. My friend has overcome the "oh, we thought you'd be a man" surprises by spelling her nickname as Ally instead.

That is odd. I am also an Alison and get referred to as Ali at work and have never been assumed to be a male nor had any strange reactions like you describe.

That’s really strange! I’d say at least half the Alisons I’ve known more often go by Ali or Allie.

Ali is a common nickname for Allison, though. I can't imagine people being shocked that you're a woman.

I mean here it is, anyway. It's usually spelled Allie, do you think it might help us you spelled it like that?

There was even a TV show in the 80s, Kate and Allie.

How do you spell it?
Ali- likely to be a man
Ally or Allie- likely to be a woman

I also know plenty of Alisons who go by ‘Ali’, I’m really surprised you’ve come across people who think it’s unusual. My default assumption would be that an Ali would be a woman.

Again, guessing Ali or Mo.

Find a different instructor.

Regardless of whatever anyone's name is, if someone who you are paying cannot address you in your preffered way them I would swiftly take my custom elsewhere!

They’re being rude/narrow minded IMO. Most people know that names can have different uses in different parts of the world, so even if it strikes them as odd at first it’s up to them to “get over” this total non event.

I hope your driving instructor is less weird next time but if not - please do dump him and find someone more polite/pleasant! Quite a few people I know including me had to change instructors to find someone they could work well with/pass with.

Do you have an ethnically ambiguous surname as well?

Ali + a South Asian surname - I would probably assume a man.

But Ali with a standard English surname and I would definitely assume woman.

As a PP, I know several Alison’s who without exception go by Ali and it wouldn’t cross my mind that it was anything else. Perhaps it’s the area you’re in? I’ve only known 3 males called Ali. One was short for Alistair, one short for Alan and the other was an Egyptian man.

Mo for Maureen? That's probably much less common than Mo for a man.

I hope you've cancelled the driving instructor and informed him that it's because he is a rude misogynistic twat.

This. Most important point on the thread.

Now I do wonder what it is about taxi drivers that make them particularly “stunned”?

Really? I doubt that. Taxi drivers see humanity in all its myriad forms and beyond checking they're collecting the right passenger and that you're not so drunk you'll throw up in their car I'm sure they couldn't care less.

When I'm booking a taxi, either personally, or when work receptionist does it, the booking is "taxi for Castle" - not "taxi for Girly First Name Castle". The driver confirms he's "taxi for Castle".