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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Eating at my friends

29 replies

boldasgolden · 13/06/2025 21:56

I’m currently staying at my friends house and she’s lovely. I’ve never stayed at her house before and only ever been in the garden. We’ve been friends 2 years and she comes to mine a lot and we meet out doing things but this is the first time I’ve been invited to stay. I’m here for five nights

the issue is food. Her kitchen is dirty (it smells and utensils are mucky) she has three cats. There’s a litter box on the floor of the kitchen overflowing and the cats walk on the side. I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t eat here. We’ve eaten out yesterday and today (I offered to pay) but she’s saying that she will cook for us the next two nights.

I don’t want to upset her or be rude, and I’m 200 miles from home but I genuinely don’t feel like I can eat here. I’ve even avoided having a cup of coffee so far and she’s commented on that I don’t seem to be drinking or eating much.

OP posts:
croftplaced · 14/06/2025 12:46

vincettenoir · 13/06/2025 22:07

I would try not to think about the mess/cats. It’s very unlikely there will be anything wrong with the food/drink that she serves. It’s just a case of getting over it in your head. You probably eat food from worse kitchens half the time you order a takeaway.

Most food poisoning incidents happen from home.

vincettenoir · 14/06/2025 14:26

Food poisoning occurs from cross contamination or food that has not been stored appropriately. There’s nothing in the post that indicates OP would get food poisoning from friend’s kitchen.

SereneHare · 03/07/2025 18:33

boldasgolden · 13/06/2025 21:56

I’m currently staying at my friends house and she’s lovely. I’ve never stayed at her house before and only ever been in the garden. We’ve been friends 2 years and she comes to mine a lot and we meet out doing things but this is the first time I’ve been invited to stay. I’m here for five nights

the issue is food. Her kitchen is dirty (it smells and utensils are mucky) she has three cats. There’s a litter box on the floor of the kitchen overflowing and the cats walk on the side. I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t eat here. We’ve eaten out yesterday and today (I offered to pay) but she’s saying that she will cook for us the next two nights.

I don’t want to upset her or be rude, and I’m 200 miles from home but I genuinely don’t feel like I can eat here. I’ve even avoided having a cup of coffee so far and she’s commented on that I don’t seem to be drinking or eating much.

The cats are walking on the sides of the litter box because it's too dirty for them to use properly. Sometimes they stop using it altogether if it's not kept clean. Then your friend will have an even bigger issue to deal with.

Not good for the cats, her or her guests to be living with an overflowing box of shit in a food prep area.

WTHJH · 03/07/2025 18:54

Had forgotten this!

Did you run away from the house, @boldasgolden?

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