Elderly parent wants to give large amount of money to me - I have refused !

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Elderly parent (90’s) wants to give significant amount of money to me - I have said no as am not in need of it as such ? They are insisting !
What are the implications for myself and parent ?
For context I am not working at the moment due to ill health (my own choice) but do not claim benefits ?
What would you do ? ?

How much ? Can they afford it ? Di you have siblings ?

putvin an account so there if they need it

I'd just say thank you, take it and then discreetly put it in an account, untouched.

Either they are wanting the pleasure of giving to their child(ren) whilst they are still alive - in which case why would you deny them this?; or they are misguidedly thinking it will avoid inheritance tax or care home fees - in which case you can just keep it safe as part of their estate to be declared and considered (or for care funding purposes) for when the time comes.

I would think that being in your 90s must really change your perspective on a lot of things. You don't make future plans (for yourself, anyway); you assess your priorities, including making a point of saying/giving/doing things for your children/grandchildren whilst you still can; you're probably thinking of your legacy (emotional and familial as well as financial) as you enjoy your twilight years, whilst being very aware that the night could come at literally any time.

If it's something that isn't far-reaching, or easily remediable, sometimes, it's nice to just do what brings a very elderly person happiness - even if you then react/put it right privately in a way that they may not have specifically intended or thought. Just like you would thank them genuinely for their kindness, if they gave you a hideous yet kindly-intentioned present for your birthday, before quietly funnelling it the way of the charity shop.

I wouldn't worry about the IHT side of things unless your mum is very wealthy.

Presuming your dad died whilst he was still married to your mum... his tax free amount £325K would pass to your mum ... when she dies then her tax free amount kicks in making it £650K .... if she leaves a house to you then there is even more tax free concessions taking it up to almost a million.

The OP hasn't said how much money is involved. Every is assuming there will be inheritance tax and yet the estate might be small.
Even if it's a large estate the parent can do what they want with the money as long as they can afford it. They probably want to see the money enjoyed. A bit late probably, as IMO money should be given when offspring are young and need it most

I would talk to them about why they wanted me to have it and depending on the answer either ask them to reconsider or accept it and put it into a savings account in case they needed it back for care costs or similar.

Could you put in in a seperate account which she could potentially access herself when needed. Then if not you just keep it? Or give to your kids etc?

But if it's to try and get out of paying care fees then she could get in trouble and I suppose drag you down with her.

If you genuinely don't want it, accept it and tell her you'll be donating it to charity. If she's happy with that then do just that. Or she might then say she'd rather give to someone else?

If you're not going to accept it, why are you asking what the implications would be?

It doesn't matter does it?

Um, it depends.

Will your parent require adult social care support in the future or would they be self-funding, if care required?

It could be seen as a deprivarion of assets if the former.

Its a shame, so many elderly people leave it so late to give money.

I do believe as the younger generations age, they will be giving money away earlier (70s) to avoid this issue!

You can give £3000 away per year without any IHT implications as I understand it, so I would say yes to that amount.

Better you have it than the Government takes it in IHT! You can give your children £3k per year without any tax implication and can carry over unused from previous year (ie £6K), you can also gift for weddings (£5K for child, £2.5K for grandchild).

You'll need to look at the tax liability implications for larger sums, but as a guide its 40% if death occurs within 3 years, then its tapered the longer your parent is alive after gifting the money. Worth seeking professional amount if its a very large sum.

This. But keep some aside in case of care needs or iht.

It’s not necessarily deprivation. We do t k ow how much the relative wants to give or how much they would have left. Key detail.

OP I know a lot of people have jumped in to comment about inheritance tax (with all the usual inaccuracies), but is that actually your question?

FYI they can’t force money on you. If you don’t want it, and they still transfer funds, you can ask your bank to return it.

However, as others have pointed out, a gift is as much for the giver as it is for the recipient. Could you not consider just accepting in good grace to give them joy?

I would suggest saying yes but that you want to do it with proper legal and financial advice.
There are implications on large gifts - there is a list of what is OK and we are talking a few thousand or even hundred pounds etc depending on the circumstance not massive amounts. It may be seen of deprivation of assets if care home needed but at 90 you can say preparing for 10 yrs (ie holding back enough to cover that) would mean there was no issue
IHT may be payable on the amount but that is always down to the estate, only if the estate doesn't have those funds would they go to OP - which may cause issues with other people who might inherit etc.
There could be higher limits for IHT depending on if allowances were passed over from a husband/wife, what the money is in the form of e.g. cash, shares, housing etc

It sounds to me like they need to speak to a solicitor 1. to make sure will in place (and maybe power of attorney) and 2. To understand her/his personal tax circumstances and what would be the best way to manage this.

As per a PP - putting asides any legal/tax etc implications...

Refusing a gift like this can be pretty upsetting for the giver, if their intentions are genuinely to assist in probably the only way they can now (and not to use to manipulate and control you as sadly some parents would).

If you're certain they have the money to gift, and are clear in their intentions, and you can put it into a savings account - then let them gift it.

It is horrible feeling as if there is nothing you can do to help the people you love, no matter what the reason for that. So accepting this gift may give them peace of mind that you're secure.

The inheritance tax staggers down each year. So even if they don’t live 7 years to be tax exempt you are still better off every year that you hold the money.

They would rather their money go to you than the taxman. It will buy them more happiness knowing the money stays with family, than it going to the state. Let them

How could it not be deprivation of assets? The donor is in her 90s and if she does have to go into a home if the money runs out, the LA will go through every aspect of the donor’s financial and medical history. They will quickly see the £100K transaction and ascertain who it’s been gifted for. Do you really think they would ignore it?

They’ll ignore it, if it’s not needed, if lots of money is available and covers the care.

The issue comes if the money runs out.

Which is why I put “if they don’t need the money” , ie if care is covered by the remaining estate.

I do actually know what I’m talking about….

I happen to work in this field.

Yes I know, I said that in my post - “if the money runs out”. Which it could very well do? given the huge amounts self-funders pay. Best to put the money in savings accounts and make money from it for as long as possible.

Absolutely and the seven year clock ticks and you never know….

I would accept it, but not spend it. Keep it separate in a savings account and be prepared to use it on their behalf for care fees etc, or (probably) eventually pay tax on it. I would keep strict records of everything.

The reasons I would accept it are:

1. Makes the parent feel happier
2. Parent may lose capacity for looking after their own affairs and financial decisionmaking. Obviously the way to deal with that is by setting up a power of attorney (if not already done). But it also wouldn't hurt to have some money in your name which they can't give away to the postman if they get a bit confused, and which you could use for their benefit if necessary.

Just my opinion - please don’t take offence but I certainly wouldn’t have rejected their generosity out of hand. If only because you are depriving them of actually seeing whilst they are alive that their money is benefitting you. Bearing in mind they are both in their 90’s there won’t be many more years available to them for this.
There may of course be a huge family backstory and reasons why you don’t want their money but don’t cut your nose off to spite your face.
There is so much you haven’t said - Do they have wills? Do they own property?. Do they have so much money that there will be plenty left to fund their care needs? Do you have siblings. Are there any grandchildren?
I know there are legal implications when money is given away but don’t know what they are so my advice would be accept what you legally can for now and urge them to take urgent legal advice. If they are anything like my (younger) parents they might need persuading to do this but it will end up being money well spent and may be save you a lot of hassle in the future if you are their only dependent.

Just as an aside; if you’re not paying NI then do. If you’re not claiming benefits and not being paid from employment you’ll be missing out on your credits.

If you don't need it still take it and put it in a savings/ISA.

If you do end up having to pay IHT then you'll be no worse off either way