To think my neighbour is really petty?

[Imsickofpettypeople]

My neighbour doesn’t get along with a lot of people, but I thought that because I’m a laid back, reasonable person, but we rubbed along ok.

My neighbour planted a whole gardens length of plants that are about 10 foot high. However, it flowers and it’s nice to look at. It towers above my fence, and hangs down. It’s nice.

The other day I was doing something neighbourly for her and I mentioned how lovely her flowers were and that I’m not going to trim them back to the fence as it’s not a good time for those plants (they’re flowering) and they look nice.

So, she’s hired someone to pull every bit of flower hanging over my fence back into her garden.

AIBU to think this is really petty? I was talking to her about something in my garden that I thought might be intrusive but if that’s how it is I won’t bother in future.

I know I was getting a nice view, but it’s petty.

Could she possibly have interpreted you as gently complaining about them hanging into your garden? Otherwise yes, mega petty and odd.

That is exactly the sort of thing my sister would do and she would have taken your comment as a complaint. It's very unfortunate.

She might have interpreted it as you telling her to trim it back instead? You're not in the wrong though. Just seems like an odd reaction from her. I'd not think too deeply about it.

I am guessing she thought that you were complaining in a nice way about the flowers. To be honest otherwise it seemed strange that you mentioned them.

Yes, she thought you were passive-aggressively complaining about her overhanging plants, and thought she was actually doing something to please you.

Tbh, you're coming across far more strangely than her, if you think she deliberately did it to spoil your pleasure.

I'm afraid that is how I would have interpreted it too. It sounded like a veiled complaint.

She thought you were hinting.

I agree with this, especially as you were mentioning something in your garden that might bother her - I would have interpreted it as a hint to cut them back too.

Yep, she thought you were complaining as you qualified the reason you weren't was a matter of timing

I also think she must have interpreted what you said as you complaining. But I do think it is odd that she didn’t actually speak to you about it since the two of you seem friendly with each other.

Why would you tell her you are not going to trim back her plants?! That’s such an odd thing to say. You could have just said, ‘lovely plants’. I would have taken what you said as a passive aggressive comment that you were annoyed with the overhang.

I would have just kept quiet.

She must be tighter than duck’s arse, dial back on the favours.

The other day I was doing something neighbourly for her and I mentioned how lovely her flowers were and that I’m not going to trim them back to the fence as it’s not a good time for those plants (they’re flowering) and they look nice.

This is such a weird thing to say though. It sounds like a veiled complaint. Why mentioning not trimming them back?

Also, what was the thing in your garden that you thought might be intrusive? You were talking about that and then started talking about her flowers so that might have given her even more reason to think that you were complaining.

Apologies as I think I’ve written it down too casually.

I went to see her, being neighbourly. I wanted to let her know we’d be trimming something, and we would come pick up the debris, plus to make sure she was happy with whatever we
were doing.

Whilst there she asked me why I’d not trimmed her overgrowth to my garden. I said that it looked nice hanging into my garden, and I didn’t want to trim it as it was flowering and looked lovely. Truth be told the beautiful colours cascading over my fence enhance my garden.

Then she had someone drag it all back her side.

Yes, she's being petty. You said a nice thing but you can't win with some people.