To be raging at shortbread instead of pastries?

[pinotnow]

I am at a conference type event. As a teacher I rarely get to come on this type of thing. I've looked forward to the pastries on arrival throughout the two hour drive. I'm here and there are no pastries. It's biscuits of a shortbread type, which I don't like anyway and are not appropriate as a substitute for pastries. I haven't eaten so it's going to be a long morning until lunch, which I now have concerns about anyway.

Why is everything so relentlessly fucking shit now?

TRIGGER WARNING

I went to a network meeting where they promised bacon butties in the morning and what they actually served was bacon on ciabatta (What the fuck?) with no brown sauce. None. Nada.
Why do bad things happen to good people? They can shove it of they think I’m going there again.

That accurately describes a significant number of academic conferences I’ve attended.

ETA And the fights are legendary.

Someone has forgotten to take them out of the freezer.

You'll probs get them for lunch, with tiny ham or cheese sandwiches sprinkled with a few stale crisps.

Commiserations OP.

BTW, my favourite Danish is a maple and pecan plait. 😋

There used to be levels of break time refreshments.

Top tier was little pastries
Middle tier was Clubs, Wagon Wheels (boggle) and Penguins
Bottom tier was a tin of Family Circle biscuits

I am afraid OP, you are not as important as you think you are.

The middle tier was always a laugh. Delegates from overseas would marvel at our British biscuits, and we'd be like "errrm, I haven't seen a Wagon Wheel since the early 90s"

Any conference/team building/other pointless management exercise, has
a) assortment of pastries (croissant, danish, pain au chocolate, etc..,) for breakfast - coffee/tea/pointless fruit alternatives

b)decent biscuits at break time

c)a selection of rubbish sandwiches and things for lunch

d)decent biscuits at break time

e)beer/wine o'clock

repeat for how many days it goes on for.

Add in the usual failure of an av/it issue, someone forgetting their medication and a rearrangement of the order of speakers and you've successfully completed your course!

To prepare academics for this delight, you need to fly them (economy obv) across many time zones and have the Key Note speaker present at 10pm local time. Making the room warm and dark is a bonus.

I went to a conference once where there were mini cheddars at the evening reception. I was delighted.

Many years ago I had to go to events for work as a rep. We were provided with sandwiches and crisps, as well as tea and coffee. Half way through the morning the area manager arrived "to see how it was going", stayed for a few minutes and left - taking most of the food with him. Second day we hid the crisps, but he came in and helped himself to sandwiches again. The third day we ate the lot for breakfast before he could get there!

This has upset me. On quite a deep level.

I LOVE shortbread so would be made up to be honest

I wouldn’t know, being public sector we’re grateful to be given any kind of freebies whatsoever!

Everyone knows the law is pastries and coffee on arrival , biscuits at break , nice lunch , biscuits and coffee in the afternoon.

The only perk of attending conferences!

Outrageous

I am in Sweden and we have slightly different rules but yes, I join in the outrage. It's the principle of the thing. Once around 2011-2012 I was at a conference in Stockholm and there was a lovely-looking little mini dessert thing in a little cup on offer, some sort of piped white goodness and raspberries. Turns out they had been hijacked by LCHF nutters and it was pure cream cheese. I mean it's not like it's not decent fodder, but I felt I was sold a lie.

I love a shortbread, but only those thick rectangle Scottish ones. I’ve see some thin cheap round versions, cheap and nasty horrors. Worried for OP.

I am furious on your behalf.

We used to have an annual staff celebration day at work.
Each department got a big hamper of brownies and pastries from a local bakery, and there was a coffee truck and an ice cream van in the car park and we all got tokens for free coffee and ice cream.

Then they decided that lavishing us with unhealthy food was against the company ethos, or something.

So the vans were stopped, and instead of the beautifully presented hamper we got paper bags of fruit, like something the supermarket would give away at the end of the day - mainly apples oranges and bananas.

I've sometimes seen most of the pastries left uneaten at this kind of event, as 80% of people stayed over the night before and have had a hotel breakfast before leaving for the conference.

Me too. But I have been known to steal wrap up several cookies and pastries in a napkin and take them home for Mr Scarlet.

Bonus, we have acquired half a dozen lovely napkins this way.

My mouth dried up just reading that.

This was 13 years ago....time to let it go!

Be glad you're not in my old LA.

Latterly, we were told to tell people to bring their water bottle.

Are you sure some greedy buggers didn’t have several pastries and so they ran out and bunged a load of biscuits on a plate in a pathetic effort to replace them?

I admire your self control.

I'd arrive home and be greeted with 'Why have you brought home napkins covered in crumbs again?"

"breakfast pudding" 😄

You're not wrong though. Breakfast pudding needs to be more of a thing.

Is there gin?

I’m disturbed too. I can see no logic to it.