Should I cancel the trip?

[Chick981]

I’ve booked on a whim to go abroad to an event in September. It means leaving my kids 2 and 5) for three nights, crucially during my eldest’s first week of year one (relevant as I’m worried about the reception to year one transition)

I’m really regretting booking it now and I keep worrying / feeling guilty about it in the night.

I’ve never been in a different country to my kids and never been away for three nights before so that plus the guilt around missing the first week of back to school is just making me regret it.

Wondering whether to suck it up and cancel it (I’d lose £140 for flights but could probably get a refund on event ticket) or put my big girl pants on and go ahead with it. If the flights were refundable I’d have cancelled my now but £140 is a lot of money to just waste!

Any reassurances either way welcome and yes I know I’m being over anxious/ over thinking.

If it is causing you sleepless nights now then you almost certainly will not enjoy the trip, so the cost of the trip will be a waste of money anyway. Is there anyone you know who would buy the tickets from you. Then you would only need to pay the name change fee

The move from reception to year 1 can be tricky, but not on the first day back. It’s more that it is hard and tiring for them to go from mostly play with a bit of formal learning, to mostly learning formal learning with a bit of play. But that’s not something that kicks in on day one

No I wouldn’t miss that transition but that doesn’t mean it’s right / wrong

Ask the school how they manage transition. Ours do a gradually transition to the more structured learning of year 1, so the first half term doesn't look that different. They still have quite a bit of playing and complete structured learning tasks in small groups.

My DS is currently in year 1 and the first week was fairly calm at drop-off and the kids seemed to head in quite happily. They seemed quite prepared for the change and somehow it seems more 'natural' than at nursery as all the kids move classes at once.

How involved is dad? Does he do school drop offs some days normally? If he is used to being a fully present parent then leave him to it. If he isn't used to it, then get him to take on a bit more this term.

Go and enjoy it. You can video call your children every day.

My kids weren’t affected by the move from reception to year one. I don’t know any who were. But you know your child best.

I think it’s good for kids to see their mum doing independent things and having interests beyond them, the home and partner/DH.

I agree with this. The teachers work hard to support the transition and will likely do quite a bit of play the first week. The issues often come later when the work ramps up and the play reduces. Although most have no issues and both my DC actually preferred the clearer structure and expectations of year 1.

Me too. It’s just a ‘have a nice day in Mrs Smith’s class’ day.

I would absolutely go on the trip. It doesn't need two parents for a child to start year 1.
I was always working so my kids starting a new school year was dropping them at the childminder at 7.30am and saying goodbye! No Biggie.
If you won't get money back anyway why not wait til nearer the time to decide

I've had three kids and I don't remember reception to Year 1 being significant. It's normally a transition.

If it were the first week of a completely new school then I'd think differently but in this situation, I'd go. But then I travel a lot for work so it's normal for me.

I think you’re over thinking the transition to year 1. It’s just “back to school” after the summer holidays. Don’t make it bigger and more stressy than it needs to be.
go and enjoy yourself!!

Just go. That transition stage isn't a big deal unless you make it one.

It's only 3 nights, they will be fine.

Is dad with them? Isn’t he capable of managing all this while your gone
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The transition to year 1 doesn’t really happen on week one. That will just be settling in and playing like reception was. The transition to more formal learning happens over weeks / months and that’s when tiredness builds etc. It’s not a one off event you will miss.

Go. Enjoy yourself. Hear all about it when you get back. Trust your partner and more importantly the school. Anxiety about change is catching. Your little one is just going into a different classroom with all the others and will have a great time, especially if you expect them to!

Go for it, and enjoy your time away 😊 Sounds like you have no qualms about the other parent, and the world will keep on turning 😊

Thank you everyone, if nothing else there are some really reassuring comments here around year one.

They're 2 and 5!

As a parent I almost found the start of year 1 an anticlimax! We quite a bit of transition to school nursery, even more transition to Reception (even though it was the same school for us) then dropped them off at the year 1 gate having not even met the teacher! The children had met the teacher a few times in school and obviously knew her a bit from assemblies etc. All this is fine and appropriate for children who were familiar with the school, just felt quite different as a parent.

I'm pretty sure that poster was asking a deliberately silly question to point out that as they are children they clearly won't be alone to encourage OP to go.

Would you be able to enjoy it? If yes, then go. If not then cancel.

Ah yes! 😂 too early in the morning for me!

Starting a new school, I wouldn't go. Starting a new year in the same school, I'd go, unless there is a drip feed that your child is neuro diverse and really struggles with transitions. I don't think moving up a class is that big of a deal or anything they'll remember that you weren't there for like a school performance

Cut the apron strings a bit OP. Your kids will with their other parent who is as capable of parenting them as you are. If you were a single mum it would be different but to claim you are the only one who can do this transition is a bit insulting to your partner.

it is just a difference class, not a new school
go for it

My eldest was chomping at the bit to get back to school for year 1 - he loved school - and for the first week, TBH, he was knackered and just wanted after school snack and to flake out at home before early bed.

3 nights with me not there would have been fine. Go on your trip.