AIBU to ask what boundaries you’d put in place for teenager?

[bakingmad123]

I’m trying to figure out normal boundaries for my DD - she’s 14, almost 15. Year 9 but the oldest pretty much in her year. Has a mix of year 9 and year 10 friends and also a y9 boyfriend (age 13, one of the youngest in their year) who she’s been with for 8 months.

Main areas I can’t figure out as they seem to vary so widely amongst her friends are:
bedtime - what’s reasonable? Locking their phone? If so, what time?

curfew - going out and about with friends of an evening or weekend ( for what it’s worth we are rural and everywhere is small villages joined together and walkable) - what time for home? Different for weekdays? Different for summer / winter (time it gets dark)

boundaries with boyfriend - okay in room with door open (bungalow so not tucked away upstairs)? How often to check? Watching films on bed together? What about hickeys - normal or worrying?!

Ive deliberately not said what we do right now as I really want some input without bias - what do you do? What’s reasonable?

thank you so much - frazzled mum of a teenager xxx

Repost from teenager section to try and get some traffic!

I think at almost 15, parenting becomes more about negotiation. Mine didn't have a bedtime as such but generally went to bed about 10. As long as they were getting their schoolwork and homework done & were getting themselves up and off to school ok, I was happy to let them manage it themselves. In the lighter evenings, I would say they need to be home before dark and I wanted to know where they were. Parties etc you can negotiate a later time but pick her up so she's not walking home late at night. I would be ok with the boyfriend being in her room with the door open, hickeys I would discourage because it looks grim! Phone use is a tricky one - again I think it's a negotiation and keeping a close eye on social media use is a must.