My toddler is ruining my life

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I have 3 kids 8,6 and 3. My older two are angels and have never caused me any issues. My 3 year old is so badly behaved I have never witnessed anything like it. I’m terrified to go anywhere with him. He swears when he gets mad makes tons of mess trashes my house. Doesn’t listen and runs off all the time.

Me and hubby are currently taking some time apart as he is just pulling up apart. Refuses to sleep in his own bed and keeps coming into ours. Everywhere we go with him just makes us miserable it’s never a nice outing. Everywhere car journey is shouting screaming demanding sweets.

He is the same when he goes to stay with hubby! Both extremely stressed because of this child. I burst into tears today after leaving ALDI after he screamed and demanded peppa pig ice lollies i refused to get them. He threw a 10p coin at a woman that worked there.

Im so miserable any advice or any support we can get?

GP appointment is your first port of call

Assume he's had all his health visitor checks and no developmental delays causing frustration? Otherwise this infograph might be helpful, not suggesting your child has autism but if his temperament is to be demand avoidant these strategies might help.
https://www.exmouthcollege.devon.sch.uk/attachments/download.asp?file=2373&type=pdf

Sounds like a fairly normal 3 yr old to be honest. Perhaps not the swearing part, where is he learning this from?

My son was a nightmare between 3 and 4. It was a horrible year, he was pushing the boundaries every single day, was unreasonable, defiant, constant tantrums. Ugh he was awful.

I just had to stay consistent and keep reinforcing the boundaries and he came out the other side eventually. Your son is probably unsettled if you are your husband have separated too. Plus he’s living in a highly stressful environment because he’s pissing you off so much - this is understandable!

If you stay firm and keep reprimanding him for the bad behaviour and encouraging the good it will pass. I think it’s a phase. I really don’t know what a GP would be able to do about this. I don’t think he has a medical problem, he’s just a challenging 3 year old!

He swears? How does he know swear words at age 3?

3 can be an exhausting age. My son was a demon at 3. It’s quite normal for them to test every boundary at this age and you need to make sure you stay consistent with your responses to him.

where is he hearing the swearing from? 3 year olds often don’t know which words are swear words and which aren’t so if he’s using them, he’s copying them from someone

I imagine he’s overheard it.

A 3 year old should not know swear words exist

3 year olds are hard work at best of times, add in being the lively youngest, add in parents who are tired and the family is breaking up and the change that brings. Its all normal. Just break things down. Take care of you and set manageable tasks.

Not diagnosing him or anything but just a consideration. My nephew behaved this way and has autism. I'm going to disagree with others that say this is typical 3 year old behaviour - you have 2 others and know that yourself.

I'd see the doctor.

Also, those peppa pig lollies are 10/10

He is 3 years old. It sounds as though something is not right in his life if he is learning swear words. It sounds very worrying actually.

As per PP, where has he learnt the swear words? That source will be at least part if the problem.