To say his parenting is off putting...

[Forthelovagod]

Partner has 19 yo dd. He never asks her to pull her weight round house. She leaves the loo dirty, plates on the side or on the table after a meal... Like there's a maid.

He's ok with it. Jokes she is spoiled and a princess. I actually find it so unattractive but aibu to say it to him?

It's sad, but you will lose respect for him.

Bottom line, if he cared for her, he'd parent better.
The easy quiet life was his choice for himself first.

Unattractive.
When you really love your children you do the hard parenting bits because you want them to have a chance to be their best version of themselves, and attract a decent person.

He's raised a bit of a selfish dirty madam and it will come back to bite him.

Protect yourself and definitely your children and their home.

Her poor raising will leak into every area of her life.

Awwww that’s so disappointing that it hasn’t worked out for you when you are compatible in other ways.

I don’t think I could stand it either tbh.

It doesn’t necessarily make him a bad dad, but he’s certainly a lazy one in that he can’t be bothered to pull her up on it.
Does she have a mum? If so is she the same at mums house, or only at dads?
I don’t think I’d let this put me off him if otherwise everything is great, but I absolutely wouldn’t be moving in together until she’s no longer staying or living with him and has her own place.

She lives with him. Mum is remarried and has other kids and she's never been keen on the step dad so decided to live with Dad full time.
He's not bad at pulling her up if she gives him attitude, its the lack of guidance. You know the 'don't leave everything at your arse' pointers. Or ordering the most expensive thing on the menu and endless drinks when she's not footing the bill yet massive reluctance to buy a round. Even as teens my dc are prompted to do this.

Wish i could seperate the two things. His parenting and our relationship but im not sure its possible.

There have been times we've had the rare chance to lie in together but he has rushed home to make her a cooked breakfast. He tries desperately to be a good Dad but for me that's just so unnecessary. But clearly it works for them and i love and care about him so i think leaving them to it is the only option. Just feeling sorry for myself because i wanted this to be it. We had so much potential to work.