Retrain before or after kids?

[Sixpence39]

At a cross roads and looking for some help! Just lost my marketing job and in the process of looking for something new. Have been hating marketing for ages and looking for a change - considering retraining in something that involves working with children which has always been my interest. Maybe speech and language therapy, OT, teacher or similar.

Issue is I've just turned 34 and want to start a family. Feel like biological clock is ticking. Being a mum is my goal in life - I'm not career motivated at all and work has only ever felt like a (soul destroying) chore that we obviously have to do to survive. Maybe retraining can change that?

Retraining now would mean a couple of years fulltime training (unpaid), then if I were to get pregnant, an unpaid mat leave... and then starting a new career with a small child? All seems extremely uncertain, stressful and like choosing the most difficult path. But if I stick with marketing for now and starting trying for a baby, I could still be in this career for ages before I actually fall pregnant and i"m not sure I can hack it! So lost and confused. Anyone been in a similar boat and have advice?

What’s your financial situation like broadly? Married? Savings? Can you afford to live on only one wage, with plenty to spare now? If the answer is no then I’d really think about whether retraining would even be possible once you have a child to be honest. I don’t know many families who could afford to be an income down with young children.

You need to decide what is most important really, and what is financially doable. If it’s a baby and you can’t live on 1 income then sticking at your current job is your best bet. If you really do want the career change then I’d say do it now rather than wait because years of unpaid training becomes far less doable with young children.

That’s a tough choice! If it weren’t for your age I would definitely say before! I’m currently doing a qualification linked to my current career, and I’m being paid, and it’s really tough carving out time to study. I think if you can treat your training like a job (I.e somehow afford to put baby in nursery a few days so that you can study / do placements) it could be possible. I wouldn’t want to have to try and study with baby there. You wouldn’t get paid maternity leave I shouldn’t think, but you would get the leave, so if you apply to start in September for example, and fall pregnant half way through, you could recommence the course after maternity leave.

It would also be worth investigating is any of those career paths have apprenticeships routes? I think physio does. So you would be paid and get maternity pay after a certain length of employment

I was in a similar position. Worked in corporate marketing, nice enough but heart not in it. But I think it’s worth remembering that your priorities might change when you have a baby. I didn’t really “need” as much back from work in terms of fulfilment once I had kids as I’ve got bigger fish to fry / enough on my mind. My job now sits quite neatly in my life, I have a good salary, work from home a fair bit and earn a decent wage to have a nice family life. Remember you could end up with a lower paid job and the same high childcare costs which makes the whole question of whether you work or become a stay at home parent more front of mind. This is just my personal take. Good luck with the decision.