To think polyamory is just commitment issues with better PR?

[LoftyCritic]

“Ethical non-monogamy” still leaves someone crying in the shower eventually.

I probably agree with you there, however if other adults choose to live their lives that way it doesn't really affect me.

Conventional monogamous marriages famously never leave anyone in tears.

I am in no way an expert (I have a very ordinary and happy monogamous marriage 😂), but polyamory and ethical non-monogamy are not the same thing.

That said, I have friends who have done both, been in polyamorous relationships and also in ‘open’ relationships. All of them were in a whole heap of pain that had nothing to do with their relationships and everything to do with past trauma. Their relationships became a fixation for both healing their wounds but also kept re-opening them. That’s not to imply that either relationship type is ‘bad’ (not my cup of tea, but not bad), but it was really unhealthy for them. I think they bought into this idea that if they didn’t get saddled by traditional values and practices, they would be free from everything that was hurting.

Really I think they probably needed to be single and get some good therapy. The relationships became a distraction. I think you can say that for traditional monogamous relationships too though.

It works for us and has for many years. That’s all I’m interested in. What other people want to do and what works or doesn’t for them isn’t of much concern to me.

I'm not sure about the better PR, I'd say polyamory is very disapproved of. I've been happily monogamous for nearly 30 years but can't see it's my business what others agree to.

YABU and wrong.

And there is no planet on which polyamory has positive PR.

I don’t get why people get so worked up about those who are polyamorous. People being poly does not impact you.

Whereas everyone monogamous is famously happy and thriving...